So the relations/friends don't visit you…...

[echt]

Following on from the thread about the likelihood of visits from rels and friends, what is your experience of keeping in touch via Skype/post/emails/birthdays, etc.?

You have to be very proactive. If possible agree on a regular time where granparents can see the kids after school, etc.

For friends etc i guess it dependes on how glued to the phone laptop you guys are.

My experiences in this can be summed up as "it takes too to tango". Timezones and "stuff" get in the way and both sides need to make effort to use Skype or FaceTime etc. Initially feels quite awkward.

My brother is in Sydney and it's really difficult to find the right time to call. Best time seems to be around 0900 UK when I'm at work :(

We use whatsap to agree on a Skype time. It's a bit easier here in Brazil than OZ though or even the USA as we're only 2 hours behind at this time of year and only 4 hours in the winter/summer. It still takes planning. I also find that people need clear instructions about time zones and even then, if they've had no experience you can be bothered by Skype calls at inconvenient times just because someone numpty assumes that when you say 'we're two hours behind and the children finish school at 5.30' that you're talking about their 5.30, not yours.

You quickly learn who bothers contacting you first.

The most proactive person at keeping in touch with me wasnt who id consider closest back home, however since I've moved we've visited each other 11 times in 7 years (she's also now emigrated) and we email daily.

Those people Id see daily/weekly and speak to daily/weekly back home have never visited and contact from their end tailed off after about 6 months.

For the first year we made loads of effort with presents / skype etc and particularly birthdays. Then ours came around and didn't even get a text off many people. After 3 years of unrequited efforts we have stopped bothering. Sounds bad, doesn't it. But why should we be the only ones who bother.

SteveBruce - similar experience here sadly. But remember it does cut both ways too. Becoming an expat from within a circle where it isn't usual is a funny thing..

We have weekly FaceTime sessions with 2 sets of grandparents and occasional ones with the third set. Occasionally skype some friends, but mostly we email or facebook. You get used to it, but initially it does take effort and you quickly realize who is worth the effort.

We have whatsapp groups so we can all "converse" and then no one needs to repeat what's happened. That keeps us up to date with most of the small stuff then when we skype (4hr time difference) once or twice a week with DS, once a week with parents, friends as and when we can. Ds and DH converse whilst watching the footie, it's not perfect but it goes along way to helping feel part of everything.