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Living overseas

Whether you're considering emigrating or an expat abroad, you'll find likeminds on this forum.

maybe moving to france any advice?

44 replies

moljam · 01/10/2006 22:00

we are looking at moving to france,we are looking at normandy and brittany at the moment.dh wants countryside i wouldnt mind a town as i dont drive.we are looking for a fairly cheap area as dh is currently self employed and isnt able to get huge mortgage.obviously schools need to be good as i have 6year old,5 year old and 9 month old.any advice,help,words of wisdom/warning?

OP posts:
notasheep · 01/10/2006 22:01

Do you speak the language well?

fattiemumma · 01/10/2006 22:02

startteaching fyour kids the language asap. my aunt moved to france a few years ago and my cousins were held back a year at school because they couldn't speak French.

moljam · 01/10/2006 22:03

i speak VERY basic french,dh speaks none at all.we are buying secong hand muzzy videos.

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nannyme · 02/10/2006 00:05

There are soooo many considerations.

We are renting before even considering buying - just in case it all goes tits up and because we want to save up a bit first.

You need to consider cost of living versus income - is your dh going to work here or in UK? Average wage is lower here and costs are only a little less overall than UK.

School is very different to UK but also very good in my expereince and as far as I have been told. My three are all in French school and had virtually no French beforehand. They are 6, 5 and 3. They are coping fine and headteacher says they will be speaking French within a matter of months.

Adults always find language the hardest if there is little or no prior knowledge. My french is reasonable, OH's is fair. We both cope fine. I managed my miscarriage and subsequent hospitalistion here solely in French along with hand gestures and a mini dictionary - you will be fine!

The countryside can feel very isolated and there is nothing like the accessibility of things to do with family here. My OH doesn't drive. I think you will find that tough unless you like to exist quite solitarily. You will invariably have access within a walk to a Tabac, Boulangerie, La Poste and school plus possibly a bar. But, every village is different. Here in Fenioux we have a tabac, library, post office and school plus bakery. That's it unless we drive for a good 10 mins.

We are in Deux Sevres.

Schools are the best bit for us, you can even deposit them there from 7am until 7pm if you are so inclined! We don't but the childcare here is great and inexpensive.

Beware, the whole Tax, benefits, self employment registration, residency thing is a complete and ucker freaking nightmare.

And if anyone ever tells you otherwise, you CAN get Child Benefit when you are living overseas so long as you continue to pay tax and national insurance in the UK.!!

lummox · 02/10/2006 08:44

it's great here! normandy and brittany both lovely, but the pas de calais even better as just as nice but very close to home (commutable if you can bear it).

broadband also much more advanced here, which may make a difference if you are self employed.

in terms of bureaucracy, there are a number of individuals and organisations which can help you sort things out. dh and i are both self employed, so have had to get expert accountancy advice on how to make things work.

schools seem good here, and the other English folk we know are very happy with them (we only have a 16 month old and another on the way so no personal experience).

property buying can take ages, and if you don't know anything about an area i think nannyme's suggestion of renting first sounds good.

give us some more specific queries to work on!

ggglimpopo · 02/10/2006 08:50

Message withdrawn

milward · 02/10/2006 08:55

learn french yourself - not correctly but vocab for dealing with admin. Check you'll be ok with understanding on the phone.

kids should be fine & will pick up the lang fast - get some french kids films etc

spend some time in your area before buying - renting is a good idea - but check out the rental contract fully.

ggglimpopo · 02/10/2006 09:02

Message withdrawn

aDAdOnMumsnet · 02/10/2006 09:32

What a big decision you've made! I second learning as much French as you can and as soon as possible. And also as suggested, think about a town if you don't drive, otherwise I really think the isolation will get to you.

I wouldn't go for any kind of renovation project, really not worth it unless you speak the language IMO.

I don't mean the above points to come across as negatives, there's no reason why it can't work for you with some research as to where you want to be. Your children are at good ages to be able to make the adjustment and settle within a year or two.

lummox · 02/10/2006 11:13

hmm - everyone else is being much more sensible than I was!

agree about the language point, although i think that comprehension and being understood are the key. my grammar is far from perfect, which hasn't been too bad, but it would be a major problem if you can't talk to the telecoms/water/leccy people when you find you've suddenly been cut off for example.

on the town/country debate, i think that some villages are more welcoming, with more activities especially for children than towns. the not driving thing is more of a concern. if you are planning to learn, it is much easier to do your test in the UK than out here even leaving language aside.

moljam · 02/10/2006 11:37

wow,lots of great advice!i do like the idea of renting,sounds very sensible.is renting in france cheaper than in england or the same?i pay £500 for 3 bedrooms and a garden at the moment.the renovation would be done by dh,weve been looking in places that have part livable part renovation,hed work in uk and renovate at weekends.dh is planning a trip in 2 weeks to see a place in chateauneuf du faou(anyone know the place?)to check out whats there.he drives so is unlikely to look sensibly unless i nag him for 2 weeks that i will be in forgein country alone with 3 children mon-fri!which i dont actually mind so long as theres a shop,a school!the reason i said brittony and normandy are because this is only the beginning of our search and those are the only places weve started with as they were suggested from a friend as being friendly,cheapish places.i will not be working at first as i prefer to be a SAHM to thomas until at least 2.i failed my driving test 3 times and cannot afford to do it again and again so wouldnt be learning.thankyou everyone for being honest,i need good and bad points!i know it wont be easy so appreciate your honesty!

OP posts:
mum2monkeys · 02/10/2006 12:43

Angloinfo is a good site - you can find part of france you're thinking of heading to, all kinds of stuff on there - worth a look...

moljam · 02/10/2006 12:46

thankyou mum2monkeys will have a look later,ds is awake and wanting to play!

OP posts:
moljam · 02/10/2006 12:47

thankyou mum2monkeys will have a look later,ds is awake and wanting to play!

OP posts:
mum2monkeys · 02/10/2006 12:50

No worries, hope it helps.

chocolateshoes · 02/10/2006 13:02

Chateauneuf is quite pleasant. A typical small French town with a decent market & some reasonable shops & a few creperies! There is a decent swimming pool. Quite a few tourists in summer.

Don't know anything about living there though.

soaringflyingCOD · 02/10/2006 13:03

DONT

HIGE unemplyoment
dont you rad the newspaper?

soaringflyingCOD · 02/10/2006 13:03

adn WHY go there if you cant speak french
very odd

moljam · 02/10/2006 13:35

mum2 monkeys website is great,full of everything i need to know,thanks
chocolate shoes thanks sounds nice,will get dh to check out once he gets there but its nice to have small idea.
soaringflying cod,yes i do read the newspapers,dh will continue working in england for time being.

OP posts:
nannyme · 02/10/2006 15:20

Quality of life can be a whole lot better here though. One's perspective, motivations, etc. change here - life is simpler. less materialistic mostly.

It depends what one wishes for out of life.

The best way to learn French is immersion in the language - difficult in the UK. I have a set of Michel Thomas CDs if you want them to borrow though.

The only way you will really know whether this might work for you is to try it, I feel. Don't give up the whole caboodle in UK but try a 6 month rent through winter when it will be 'toughest'. Total FRance or Angloinfo will have details of property to let.

We pay 650 Euros for a huge 5 bed place with pool and garden in Dept 79. That is neither the cheapest or most expensive.

HTH

bran · 02/10/2006 15:32

What do you expect to gain by moving that you can't get in the UK moljam? (That sounds a bit aggressive, it's not meant to be, I'd just like to hear what you think the differences will be.)

I can think if a few downsides, I personally wouldn't want to be alone 5 days a week with 3 children in a foreign country where I don't speak the language very well, especially if I couldn't drive. I speak as someone who moved to Germany when I couldn't speak the language at all, lots of little things become difficult and big things become near impossible. I didn't have my ds at the time so I had time to have intensive language lessons and even then I reckon it would have been about a year to be functional in the language, it would be difficult for you to have lessons with a baby in tow.

Also, I think you might find that any cost of living savings that you make would be swallowed up by the cost of your dh commuting every week, and the cost of his accomodation in the UK.

fridascruffs · 02/10/2006 15:51

i live in haute savoie(bordering Switzerland). I agree with others about the language problem, it can be very isolating. I speak reasonable french and can do everytthing I need to face to face and by phone. However it's still limiting, I have to concentrate hard on conversations and it's hard for local people to really see you as someone to chat to when you're not necessarily understanding everything. Lots of people have managed it before you though, and there are far more British people in Brittany/ Normandy than there are down here, so maybe you'd find it easy enough once you speak basic French.
The other thing- sorry to mention this, I'm sure you're very very happy with your DH!!- I moved to france to 'try it' and we rented (still are, a year and a half later); I'm not happy here but my partner wants to stay. I now know what I didn't know before- I cannot leave france with my children without Dp's, and he wouldn't give it, so I either have to go to court and ask for the court's decision (and it's quite possible that they'd say I have to stay in france), or just stay. Hopefully this wouldn't be an issue for you but I know of a lot of women who have ended up in bad situations because they diodn't know this.
give it a go though, just try not to burn any boats in uk if you don't have to.

fridascruffs · 02/10/2006 15:52

sorry,: without dp's permission

SSSandy · 02/10/2006 16:12

Frida does this apply if you are divorced and have sole custody of the children too?

nannyme · 02/10/2006 16:27

I think residency issues are far more complex than that. Sorry to disagree, and I don't know about this from the French perspective - only British - but it isn't an issue of can/can't.