Constant relocating addiction

[mumster79]

Hi,
Does anyone else have this urge to always be keeping an eye out at other options in other countries?
DH and I have three children under seven and in that time have lived in four different countries. We moved about six months ago. The children really like where we are, they like school, home etc.
I would REALLY like to spend sometime living in; Chille, BVI, France, Italy, New Zealand, Oman, Bahamas, San Francisco...
Does it work / not work for children? - I've heard both arguments from friends. I have two dc's who love a challenge and one dc who wants to make 'home'.
Just wondering what your thoughts are?

I can totally relate! DD is 13 and violently opposed to a move; DS, 11 (more mellow) and I are desperate to move, having spent a frightening (by our standards) 7 years in our current UK location! We moved a lot in their young years (UK-Oz-NZ-Different UK location) and I grew up abroad; I am a restless soul by nature - if it was up to me we'd move, routinely, every 2-3 years, I think
I keep a beady eye on the international job pages and harang DH constantly he's a lucky man

Sounds like our DH's should chat - they're mutually haranged!

It's like a permanent itch isn't it?

I felt this way until DD arrived and now I seem to have got 'comfortable'! This is the longest time I've spent in any job/city/country since my very early 20's and I'm actually quite worried I'll never move again! (thankfully it's only a 2 bed house and ttc DC2 so will in time grow out of the house).

I need to find my restlessness again as I'm not even particularly happy here (not unhappy though either if that makes sense?!)

I know the feeling - pre-kids we moved every year to two years. DS1 had lived in 3 countries before he was 1.

Now DS1 is hitting school age though, and moving is much more hassle, I'm worried about health insurance, unsettling him etc.

Do you other serial movers ever have identity issues like me?! I'm in my fourth country and I realise how annoying I sound going on about the other places I've lived in, it's not that I'm bragging at all, it's just that I haven't lived in the UK for 14 years. I moved a year after finishing uni, so feel like I've never been a grown up in UK. I lived in 2 other countries for 6 years each so of course this influences my viewpoints etc, especially as I have never experienced being a parent in the UK. Now in a new country and I'm feeling like I'm having an identity crisis! I think to myself just shut the f up and don't mention x or x but it just comes out, when I lived in x ... Ahh!!! How do you all integrate to your new country?

I think integrating is hard, or is at least getting harder for me!

Knowing where you're from... I don't feel very British and I wonder how our children will feel when they're older. But, moving around does make you realize that we are all 'world' citizens in a way. Maybe that's better...???!

I hear you blondie. I'm also on my fourth country, seem to average one per decade. I intend to stay put this time though, but who knows?

From my experience, if you have a strong sense of identity, who you are, and feel rooted, you have the luxury of moving often and is an adventure. But as a child who moved around, and does not belong anywhere, i would say it is not fair on the kids. The question'where do come from' can cause huge stress, if you don't know where you belong. You can't say 'england' (for eg) because you haven't a clue about england. Having no roots can be unsettling, and can effect the whole length of your life, in a way.

Nice to know others are in the same boat! I feel for my kids, I am from the UK, they have UK passports but have never lived there, they were born in my husbands country but have no passport or residential rights there (it is in Europe so they could live there, but a lot of paperwork so they are not automatically 'welcome' in the country they were born, they culturally identify with Australia and have a Aussie passport which is part of the reason I can't just say I'm from England when people ask, Australia always comes out too (even when I have previously agreed with myself not to mention it!!) At the same time I feel it's relevant because it is important for the kids that I keep Australia 'alive' for them. Now a new country ... People ask my kids where they come from and they don't know what to answer which I feel bad about as I want them to be secure in their cultural identity

Just came across this! Sums it all up nicely:

www.telegraph.co.uk/expat/before-you-go/10819142/Globetrotting-with-kids-in-tow-what-you-need-to-know.html

we've recently relocated to UK with 2 kids who were born and raised overseas. It's been an interesting move - this is the move where the 'culture shock' has hit hard. After 20 years away I too am aware of being a 'when we' - but when chatting with people i can only talk about 'when we were in . . .' or else talk about stuff from 20 years ago which is totally irrelevant. I hve found that as the children have got older they are more comfortable with their self identity, although they do find it hard being seen as a foreigner at Uni . . . my daughter's nickname is 'the foreigner', which she sometimes feels hard. But they have had an amazing life and so she sucks it up and gets on with her life. We do all find ourselves gravitating towards other re-pats, or other 'foreigners' as we find them easier to relate to.