Has anyone moved back to their home country after living abroad?

[CakeInMyFace]

I live in the UK but am originally from Canada. I moved here after I met my (now dh) travelling and as I am a dual citizen it was easy for me to relocate. I came here 10 years ago on the back of travelling / seeing the world so was very exciting, happy to leave my family behind at that point etc.

Fast forward 10 years with a DD and not a single family member within 200 miles and I miss home. I have a good social network here, but not the same. While I see my family on average every 6-7 months visits can be hard as they are long and after 2 weeks living together in our lovely but small-ish home it's tough.

We're thinking of trying to make a move to Canada (east coast, a small city not far from Toronto) but just cannot make up our minds. While I desperately miss my family, I like the lifestyle here - weekends away are easy, always something to do. Hubby has a good job and about to move to a bigger house near a good primary school.

I'm also scared that I've been away for so long I'll feel very displaced moving back - friendships have moved on etc. The winters are dreadfully cold and summers can be so stinking hot. Has anyone ever done this? Lived abroad for a number of years then gone back? Not really sure what I'm asking - maybe just some opinions and to hear others' stories.

I am also from Canada and lived in the UK and other countries for 13 years before getting homesick and going home. Got married to my British dp, had a baby, we both retrained for new careers (me twice). After 7 yrs of struggling financially and realizing we could never afford a house in the area of Vancouver we loved, we went back overseas.

Most of my friends were no longer friends ( pre FB), and I struggled with the ridiculousness of grocery stores and BC taxes!

I don't think we will ever go home (either UK or Canada) - at least until dd2 goes to uni. Financially we are so better off, we have wonderful holidays and life is good. I do miss my family, but we have 3 sets of grandparents who travel to see us once a year and we try to go to both countries 1-2 times per year.

Not sure I answered your Q, but that's my story!

Where are you now alligator?

Thanks alligator. It's good to hear other stories on this. I seem to have the homesick bug but can't decide what to do. We may try going back for an extended holiday first to see if we like it enough. So much I love about the UK too and it is My dd and dh home. Sometimes the grass seems greener on other side when it really isn't and this is what I'm thinking about...

My mum and aunt has been living abroad separately for over ten years when they decided to go home (not Canada btw). My aunt lasted a few years and then went abroad again. It was no longer home and too much had changed for her. My Mum is still home, but regret the move seriously.

Hi. We've just done this. I'm Canadian but spent 15 years in the uk. Both of our children were born in the UK and after debating " where was best to raise the kids" my husband got a job offer we couldn't ignore. Another job wouldn't come up in his field possibly ever so we decided to try life in Canada. We haven't sold our house in the UK to hedge our bets. We are now about 8 months on and I still don't know where we will end up eventually. The first few months were so hard and I miss friends and the UK in general BUT as far as the kids go this might be the better place to have them grow up. We are lucky though in that even if we are here we will still be able to afford to go back every year to visit. We made a trip back before Easter and it would have been so easy to have stayed. I think once you have lived away for so long you are destined to always be a bit torn between places. I try to focus on how lucky we have been to be able to experience both and not dwell on the sad bits. Good luck with your decision...

We moved back a year ago but were only abroad for a year - that was our first time living overseas. I've posted on the other thread about home countries, but we are struggling after just a year away. I wonder if it is possible to settled anywhere long term once you've experienced living in another country.

pupsie I am with you - grew up in Brussels, lived for a long time in the UK but have also lived, with the family, in Oz and NZ in recent years; now back in the UK, we're happy at work, kids are settled at school and we have a lovely house, but I think about moving back abroad on a daily basis! I think you're right about it being really hard to ever feel quite settled again, after time away. Sigh! First world problem I know - we're very lucky in almost all aspects of life (DD(13) stroppy outbreaks aside )

Thanks for that meerkate. It's nice to know it's not just me (sorry!). Because of the circs that led us to move back to the UK I do get very wrapped up in thinking that is the sole reason we feel this way. I guess I don't stop to consider that had we done our two year stint and then come back with sanity intact we'd be feeling exactly the same. Maybe age has sth to do with it too. I'm mid 40s, DH turns 40 in July. I think by now you expect to feel well settled? But having only just done our first overseas move it feels odd to feel like this at the ages we're at if that makes sense?

I know pupsie...I am mid-40's too but not got that settled feeling yet and suspect I never will! One consolation is that most of my school pals (from an international school) feel the same way too - a restless bunch, most of whom have to all appearances settled, but still feel that urge to up sticks and move on! Get so much harder with kids, though, doesn't it.
OP I think your idea of an extended holiday is a really good one, that plus the insight that there will indeed probably always be things you miss about the UK (I know I missed things about it, badly, and I do try to appreciate them now I am back - the wonderful lush countryside, the sense of humour, the cultural references, and of course family and friends in abundance) if you go...and things you'll badly miss about Canada (which sounds wonderful to me! There goes my inner wanderer again ) if you stay. GOOD LUCK!!

I moved back less than a year ago after 20 years overseas - it has been a huge struggle to settle. Kids have never lived here so it has been interesting for them, but they have itchy feet same as me. All my friends are spread around the world and I do find it difficult to fit in as I am very aware that people don't want to hear about my life overseas, and it can sound like boasting. BUT that was my life for 20 years and if I can't talk about it it is hard. I have no idea who all the 'celebs' are as we didn't have British TV and still don't have TV here. I feel like a fish out of water and as soon as the kids are done with college and settled I will be off again. I think my kids will also probably live and work abroard later in their lives. Part of me though is sad that they have no roots and that their family house where they grew up can never belong to us. But they are adventurous and open minded and have an interest in other cultures and lifestules.

I think the wanderlust never leaves once it's taken root. I returned to the UK after 17 years, stayed 5, then moved here 4 years ago.
I felt the same as desertmum about not talking about my past. When people were talking about something that happened in 19 blah blah, I would say ' Oh, I wasn't here, I lived in blah blah then' I would get the Well bully for you look. So you just stop trying to fit in, because you just don't have the same past experiences.
I'm in my late 40's and still don't feel I have found my home yet.
I realize now that when I move somewhere and don't feel the connection I begin the internal dialog of where to move to next.
I still want to return to the UK as I consider it the closest thing to home, but I am slowly starting to dislike where we are now less and less. (Wouldn't say I like it more, just dislike it less )
I don't know if we (wanderers) all do this but I read other posts and think, Mmmmmm Canada/Australia/NZ/........... I could do that..........
I ask dh on a regular basis if he can get a transfer to..........
We're cursed I tell you, cursed.

snort swede that's me too ... we are cursed indeed! DH certainly feels cursed I bet, with me in his life - I am always wondering out loud - on his behalf - about a job here, there and everywhere I work too, but he's the main breadwinner...though it has got to the stage that, in the depths of a UK february, i have volunteered for the tables to be turned (not that I can really imagine him as a house husband!) as, ironically, i could go abroad in an instant with my job

Ooh me too! Never lived in Asia, can't help thinking we should go there next :)

Yes - six years in the US - then moved back home to the UK. We always intended to move back and prefer the European lifestyle to the US one. DH is American and fortunately he has always felt the same way. We love Europe. We love being able to just pop over there for a few days. We got bored of the limited travel opportunities in the US. And the weather there got me down - the long, bitterly cold winters, the summers that are so hot and humid that you can only comfortably be outside in the early morning and after the sun has gone down. People gripe about the climate here, but we both prefer it.

With regard to my family, we saw more of them when we lived in the US, because we would see them every 3-6 months for at least a week at a time. Now we live about 100 miles from them and we see them probably every 2-3 months, but only for lunch or possibly a weekend, but no more than 48 hours at a time. DH's family are awful, so I'm delighted to have put an ocean between us and them!

Hi Cake. My situation sounds a little similar to yours. I spent two years in Asia and then 7 in the UK. My husband is from the Midlands and we built a life there and had our daughter. After 9 years away, I was getting very homesick and so we returned to Canada in June 2010.

It has been incredibly difficult to adjust but I finally feel like we made the right choice. Since coming back to Canada, we have welcomed our DS, bought a house and we both have secured jobs that we enjoy (most days anyway ).

I am intrigued - I am also from a small city not far from Toronto.

Cursed and doomed I reckon. I wonder if we're just not in the right place in the UK.

Can anyone who has lived in Canada and the US tell me about the differences they experienced? Huge generalisation I realise. I'm talking primarily about Vancouver vs Califonria.

Pupsi, I am currently in Cairo....but we are moving to North East Asia next month. I am from Vancouver, so if you have specific questions, I will try to help.