Has living overseas affected your decision to have DCs?

[BabCNesbitt]

Made a (supposedly) permanent move to the US in August with DH and DD (2). We're trying to decide whether to ttc DC2, but I'm wary, for reasons that probably wouldn't matter so much if we were in the UK:

• possible cost of pregnancy and birth under US healthcare system
• scarily medicalised pregnancy and births here (no gas and air? wtf?!)
• having to pay for 4 plane tickets home instead of 3
• extra costs of childcare, without benefit of tax credits etc that you'd get at home

I know the first two are mainly US issues, but I'm wondering if anyone else has been put off TTC while living in a different country? And what did you decide in the end?

well, we decided not to go for no.3, due to cost of travel, small living space etc. (Far East)
unrelated to living overseas was DH's age (he is more than a decade older than me and wasn't keen on being an even older dad than he would already be!)

Surely your insurance will cover the cost of birth etc.? Or you can a plan that covers it? (just make sure you get all the insurance sorted before you get pregnant, otherwise they will treat it as a pre-existing condition)

Oh, we have insurance (albeit a bit crappy), but my experience of US healthcare so far has involved a fair amount of $$$ on top of the insurance.

Had both my dcs overseas, but as we were in Europe plane tickets were not that expensive and we had a travel allowance from the company.
Ds went to kindergarten at 3 and we received some kind of family allowance when we lived in Germany. When we lived in Austria the kiga was taking kids at age 2 and it was cheap compared to nursery costs in the uk.

Yes, after having DD on the NHS and having an horrendous birth and then of course having no support in the UK it has taken us a long time to decide if we can go through it again. We have decided to go for DC2 but if I had have been living in Australia and with friends and family close we would have been trying a lot sooner for DC2. I'm also pretty convinced that I won't be going for a DC3 due to the above.

We decided it's now or never sort of thing though with DC2 as I'm 36 and DD will be 3 this month - I don't want to be too old and I didn't want there to be too big a gap between the DC. And I thought in 10 years time when I'm hopefully, keeping all fingers crossed back home I wouldn't want to regret not having another DC.

It's hard, and having made the decision to go for DC2 it feels like a weight has been lifted as we were going around and around for about 18 months. Good luck with making your decision.

In a way, because where we live all day childcare is cheap as chips and the norm, and both parents work full time.

Yes, would have loved DC3, but we are living in a developing country with very hit or miss healthcare (and some general health issues, e.g. the need to take anti malarials) - we have insurance, but the facilities are simply not here, and I have a complicated obstetric history. We simply do not feel that a pregnancy here would be particularly safe (at best it would be a medevac situation waiting to happen) and are thousands of miles away from family support and help with our two young DCs if things go wrong. If DH manages to get posted back to the UK within the next couple of years though we'll definite be going for it :-).

We could only really have DC3 because we moved to Sweden. Throughout pregnancy I spent about £10 on physio, £8 for the hospital stay after I had her. DS is in before and after school care, DD1 dies 15 hours a week with a childminder, total childcare costs are about £40 a month. I paid more than that for school dinners for 1 in England. I also got about 4 months of maternity leave for DS when we moved here (he was nearly 7) and for DD1, so I won't have to go back to work until DD2 is 2 (but will go part time when she is 1 to avoid full time for another few years)

We have 4 dc. Theres no way we would have that in the uk! I guess the whole family support issue goes over my head. Really... My mum helped me out while I lived in the uk during my nurse training.. But more help from friends! My family have there own lives!
4 kids in the UK would be totally unaffordable. Instead in aus we have a big house on acreage close to the city!
Great healthcare here.
Friends who helped and supported us!
So although 4 is enough.. That's our choice. I think if you what more kids have them. If you struggle with less then don't! Easy. To rely on family to have more kids is unfair on them. Airfares and holidays are expensive yes. But we will go back to the uk so infrequently. It doesn't matter. People can visit us. It's a new place to them!
Selfish maybe.. Yes. But this is out lives and we only get one go!

I have 2 DC, both born here in Hong Kong. I probably would still have had two in the UK but maybe had a bigger gap between them. Childcare/ domestic help is a lot cheaper here which makes the early years a lot easier- I definitely feel I got off lightly in spite of dd's sleep terrorism.

So I guess I think there are different pluses and minuses for me but they balance out.

I had two more children after moving to Norway. I know my eldest would have remained an only child if I had stayed in the UK.

Long paid maternity leave and cheap all day nursery/after school care makes it possible for both parents to work.

The decision was taken out of our hands.
We moved to the ME and my lack of periods, knackerdrness and nausea were all suggestive to me of an early menopause.
DD arrived 37 weeks after us.
I didn't want any more though so it was a non issue.