Don't want to go back.

[singaporeswing]

Just spent 3 perfect weeks in UK. Now I don't want to go back to Singapore

Going back to an empty room, no DP and only really there to get some money together.

Just need a bit of a moan and self-pity party.

How long are you likely to be there for?
I felt the same way about going back to Switzerland. In my case, I knew it was only for another year and we would move on after that.

For the long term, think about how the money you earn will help you in the future. Make sure you save and don't fritter it away.

For the short term, think about the long miserable dark, grey days we are all facing in the UK until spring comes round again. How much longer are you going to be there?

not sure the day length thing will help as it is always dark in Singapore by 6pm!

think of (and enjoy) the infinite supply of cheap delicious food that you don't have to cook. Make the most of being in a safe and clean tropical city - Botanic Gardens, green spaces, gentle coastal walks.

I hear you, OP. I'm heading in the same direction tomorrow. I know that I will be fine once I'm there, but leaving feels very hard as I have DC who are UK-based and I shall miss them. Like you I have had a lovely Christmas and New Year here.

But hey, I am looking forward to getting back to the warmth, and the cheap food, and my friends there.

Just marking my place.

I will be back, but just making dinner, and I'll tell you about me moving back to the Uk from Oz.

Right.

We moved to Oz in 2011 after dd2 was born, and I really didn't want to go.
Cut a long story short, lots of homesickness form me missing friends and family. Really not settling in. Finding everything expensive there. Regretting giving up my job for the move that was only supposed to be temporary.
I broke my leg earlier thus year, making it more difficult and my homesickness worse.
My dh was then made redundant hurray which meant we had to come home.
In the mean time in 2012 during the Olympics I came back to the Uk for a holiday, and was secretly planning on not going back. I so did not want to leave. I had the support network in the Uk, but stupidly went back to Oz. I couldn't even begin to tell you way, I was very stupid, and should have stay put in the Uk.
We're back now, and I'm happy as a pig in poop.

Why do you not want to go back? Have you had enough? Do you have any dc? What would tempt you to stay in SIN?

Sorry about the delay, landed back here this afternoon. I just feel a bit in limbo. We're between leases so staying with friends and renting a room for a month. DP is working away for January so I just feel so on my own.

No DC, moved over 18 months ago with DP and managed to get a job here. Not one I particularly love but ok money and a great boss.

I think part of the problem is not knowing what we're doing and it's making me feel a bit out of control. DP works on projects and the one here ends in June. After that, who knows?

He would like to stay or move to Aus (he is Australian) but I just have this empty feeling. It gets harder to say goodbye each time and I genuinely wonder how long I can keep doing it.

Thank you all, you're a lovely lot!

Awww OP you have your pity party!

I sort of know how you feel, I'm currently leaving the armed forces and going away on tour was just shit. I did find though, that after about 10 days or so, I was ok. Not great, but ok. I even managed to have some fantastic experiences. I think it's a self preservation thing, because your brain doesn't want you to feel down for such a long period of time.

I suppose... Try not to think too much, you know? Try and take what you can from it, and reassess again at Easter.

I'm so sorry you're feeling rubbish OP. I know exactly how you feel. I'm from Oz and came back to the UK yesterday with my DH and have been crying almost non-stop since. I have been in the UK for 5 years now, met my DH here and I am desperate to go back. We have said we will reassess things in 2 years when we have to remortgage our flat. I've no idea how I'm going to make it 2 years though!

Pity party away. Being away from your loved ones really, really sucks.

It's always hard the first week back - leaving family and dealing with the jet lag is a pain but it can only get better once you're back on the right time zones! Well that's what I'm holding out for anyhow! It does help that it's a little cooler than usual so not horrendously hot as another shock to the system! The uncertainty is the worst part of expat life for me - I really struggle with not being able to commit to things even within the next year cos I don't know where we'll be or what we'll be doing! We have other factors that contribute to the uncertainty admittedly but it's a constant stress.... I'm trying not to think about it and just take it day by day and think about the positives.... like there is currently another person doing my unpacking for me! School are currently dealing with DS1s jetlag and DS2 is having a long nap.... there are always positives!

imalama I'm the reverse to you - DP is Aussie but decided on Singapore as a "happy" medium! We both want to get married, have kids etc so I am dreading the decision of where to live.

soapnuts the uncertainty drives me crazy! I am a planner by nature, so get really anxious about not knowing where I will be living in 6,9,12 months etc.

I know I need to look at the positives. I have a fantastic boss who is like a big brother to me and his family (including MIL) really look after me. I get to live with DP for the first time in 5 years. I'm earning a decent wage, more than I would back in the UK. Career-wise, I'm getting valuable Asia experience. Travel opportunities are amazing.

Sometimes though, you do just need a bit of a sulk! Please feel free to join my pity party . In a way, it's nice to know that I'm not the only one.

to all of you.

imalama is your DH Australian? I only ask as my DH is Irish and so even though he has said yes we'll go back to Aus, deep down he doesn't want to, he likes living in London and being close enough to his family and friends to visit (understandably).

We bought a house 3 years ago and the day we moved in I felt so trapped (also had only given birth 4 days earlier so could have been the hormones!) and I think I cried everyday for about 4 months! I was counting down the months until we were off the fixed part of our mortgage and making plans for going home.

PM if you want to talk as I do know how you feel and I know how it feels to have to try to keep it in (to a certain extent) - I didn't always want to be dropping on DH how unhappy I was.

Singapore I have suggested Singapore a few times as our 'happy medium'! I think it's hard for you though as you say you've got no plans, that is a very short time to living project to project from. You may just be unsettled more than homesick?

Hope everyone is feeling a bit better today - the homesickness goes in peaks and troughs and it's nice to know there's somewhere to go to have a little vent or just to know you're not the only one feeling a bit shit (and having a pity party! )