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Living overseas

Whether you're considering emigrating or an expat abroad, you'll find likeminds on this forum.

Advantages of Living Overseas

6 replies

pupsiecola · 14/11/2013 21:09

A friend just sent me this:-

www.moveoneinc.com/blog/relocations/advantages-for-children-living-abroad/

OP posts:
peanutbutterhoney · 14/11/2013 22:09

Interesting read, thanks for posting. As an "adult third culture kid," I think it's accurate. There are obviously some disadvantages too... Some obvious and some less so.

RichManPoorManBeggarmanThief · 16/11/2013 06:06

Given it's written by a relocation agent, I'd expect a positive spin Grin

I think the author needs to learn the difference between correlation and causation, especially with regard to the education part- expat kids do well academically because they usually come from the demographic who would be expected to get at least a bachelors degree- they are the typically the children of educated, educationally-motivated parents. What you'd have to consider is whether expat kids from this demographic do as well as non-expat kids from the same demographic.

There are advantages and disadvantages, and every situation is different- the trend I'm seeing in HK is people staying a lot longer, so arguably, if my children were born in HK and stay here until they go to college, a lot of the experiences of constant change/integration that the article refers to don't apply. They would theoretically be expats, but their experiences wouldn't necessarily be broader than if they'd grown up in London.

MrTumblesBavarianFanbase · 16/11/2013 09:02

"Ex-pats" in the commonly used sense, who hop between well paid postings with significant perks (such as relocation agents and hefty international school fees paid) have a totally and utterly different experience to those who simply live outside their country of birth, sending children to the local schools and often staying longer/ permanently in one place.

I have encountered a significant group of of ex-pats of the ilk who use international school by preference (Western Europe) and socialise 95% with other ex-pats ... they are giving their children an experience, but it is a very specific experience of being an ex-pat, very specifically - skimming the surface of the countries they basically visit for a few years and look at from the outside in, largely as observers, socialising with other English speakers or perhaps very internationally minded, English speaking local colleagues, never considering doing anything other than using international schools ... usually employing "help" in the house... the air is rarefied! The children do meet people they wouldn't if they'd stayed in their parents' home country, but these people are very often simply other ex-pats, albeit from various countries, rather than the "normal" local population. It's like a very elite, socially acceptable, monied version of being a traveller :o

Other ex-pats I've met here have tried just blithely chucking their kids into local Kindergarten and school, usually for long hours "cold" from a home environment where the language isn't spoken, assuming "kids are flexible" but at the same time they constantly compare the country they live in negatively to "home", moan about everything, socialise exclusively with ex-pat friends, and make little effort to have local kids over at theirs regularly or allow their kids to do things the "local" way - and they wonder why their children struggle socially, don't pick up the language fluently, struggle at school - they blame the country and claim people or the system are "anti foreigner" (which they can be in some circumstances, but if you work it right being an English speaker gives you a free pass on that as it has perceived value).

I think its a fine line and not a done deal that by living abroad you automatically imbue your off spring with a fantastic international mindset, flexibility, confidence, ability to get on with anyone, blah, blah, blah ... you can end up with alienated, unhappy children who don't feel they belong anywhere, including when you "give up" and "go home" to a country the kids have, in fact, only visited for 2 week holidays, and don't feel at home in either. Or it can work out well. Its partly down to luck, partly down to how thoughtfully parents handle the whole thing, and partly down to what sort of children you have - arguable the thick skinned, self confident, resilient ones might have been like that anyway! :)

pupsiecola · 16/11/2013 17:08

Lots of really good and valid points there. In our experience even if it goes tits up it can still be enriching and character building. It's all about how you handle it I guess.

Very good point about it possibly being like you're a traveller. We defo felt like we were having the experience as back packers because we were self funding. So we set a budget and we stuck to it but we were in a tiny condo for example vs what we were used to. DH joined his company at time of Asia job so no relo package. However, he requested a UK transfer and they've just agreed to pay a lump sum relo cost plus all our associated costs, 2 months house rental in UK etc which was a lovely lovely surprise. We've been back since May but his UK employment only started 4th November. Also means that next time we do an overseas move we'll know that we don't need to have that back packer mentality again! It certainly added to the stress of things as there was so much to think about/do/pay for ourselves.

So many variables as you both said.

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MasterOfTheYoniverse · 19/11/2013 10:33

Quite agree with you with the idea of the demographics and all things being equal etc...but thinking about it….

  1. The experience would still be different because in a long term scenario as YOU would be an immigrant and your child the product of that.

  2. As the product of that long term scenario where would you say your child's grounding is? I would hope to think that having made this life choice you are ready to accept that your child's point of view would no longer be western centric?
    As far as am concerned, I accept that the new paradigm is that this culture they grow up in (Asia) is as worthy if not more of giving my child a strong sense of identity and equal opportunities if not more actually?
    I do think the experience would still be broader, maybe because they have learned to think in another language or with the ability to superpose an additional frame of mind?

Certainly my own experience coming from a third world country (Africa), growing up in Europe being fully integrated and becoming European through and through is telling. Then becoming an expat in Asia and raising another generation of "3rd world culture" kits 3 times removed from the original is telling.
Yes, on a deeply ethical point of view, we are all the same, and I'm hoping to be able to pass on that we are all the same essentially. But the layers and layers of culture far surpass the nature. And that's one lesson I hope I can pass on.

MasterOfTheYoniverse · 19/11/2013 11:20

Sorry, being very Asia centric here but you can transpose that as you go. To America for instance.

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