So homesick! Please remind me of all the bad things about the UK

[footprint]

I've been living away from the UK for 3 years - first Portugal, now Switzerland. I REALLY hate where we are living right now It's been 2 years now and I'm finding it worse not better. I don't like being a SAHM, but there are no jobs and no childcare here. Dd cannot start kindergarten until aged 4 (She is now 2). I miss my mum, I miss English people in general, I miss my friends, I miss having a choice about how I live my life.

Dh is not English and doesn't want to live there again. In my darkest moments I feel like upping sticks and moving back with dd. But couldn't do that to her or dh.

I know "the grass is always greener" but I'm soooooo homesick. Help!

mummydoc, I am trying to work out ways to move to a city (Perhaps Basel) asap. My dh likes it here, and likes his job, so keeps procrastinating. They were planning to close the school where he works, but that is probably being delayed - BOOO!

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Pruni, all good points, made me feel tired too

customer service is none existent.

most town centres are off limits on a Friday/Saturday night cos of all the drunk fights going on.

we are obsessed with the weather, but can't cope with whatever weather we do have (too hot, too cold, wrong leaves, blah, blah, blah)

oops - should be customer service is "non-existent" (reminder - engage brain before typing )

Sorry to butt in, but Amiable, I beg to differ! Customer service in Holland is next to none! Last time I was back in UK the lady in Tescos asked me if I wanted a hand with my packing - I almost leaned over the counter and kissed her! Compared to Holland, UK customer service is top marks! (Doesn't make footprint feel any better though!) Have to say I am feeling incredibly homesick at the moment too footprint, but unlike you, I'm not stuck in the "outback" and there are lots of expats around. Plus the Dutch do all speak English (usually reserved for when they are telling me I'm doing something wrong!)

Of course, that should read "Customer service in Holland is non-existant". Doh!

Dh went back for a week to see his dad ( ill with cancer) could not wait to get back to Australia. (
although he misses his family of origin terribly - happy with life we have here in Aus)

Chavs - language, rudeness everywhere

2hours to check in at Heathrow- lucky he arrived 3 hours before check in as stipulated ( here in Aus - 20 minutes to check in and can stay with people who come to drop you off right up until about 30 - 45 minutes before you board)

high cost of public transport and the unreliablity ( always made me chuckle to think of trains in the UK not coping with leaves on the track FGS leaves drop every autumn?!?!?)

crowded

polluted ( in some parts)

tony and cherie blair ( my personal irk)

posh and becks - representative of your country!! ( so many far more worthy people to do that)

Footprint, I really understand how you are feeling. we live in neighbour country Germany and it is sometimes realy hard going. My kids also hate it here and say somehow it's just better in England (aged6) - I also sometimes think of just packing our bags and leaving but then they would miss their dad and I wouldn't know where to start over in UK. I miss having my family to talk to and help with the kids, and as you say the general sense of humour is something really different over here, they don't understand our way of having a laugh and a joke - they constantly make you feel like you must be in the wrong ..could go on for ever but just wanted to tell you I know how you feel and it would be better if you moved to a bigger town or city. We lived in avillage when the kids were born and it drove me crazy/depressed and aggressive. Moving to town did make things a little better and now we have just moved to Berlin and it is much better for my sanity!

footprint , we moved back for CH last summer. Lifestyle was great quality but expensive, the people reserved and sticklers for protocols you don't realise exist let alone that you may even have broken. I think you may already be aware of some of the virtual expat groups who may be able to offer some support and perspective but the main one I belonged to is Expat Moms . You would probably feel better living closer to a city with an English speaking population and where you could have regular meet ups.

In answer to your original question petrol is ridiculously expensive, traffic hell, too hot and humid to sleep atm(hence why I'm up so damn early!), there are arguments about recycling policy and possible fines, house prices are silly and acommodation small, Big Brother is deemed a "highlight" of tv, parading false tits and sad wannabees, and generating endless press stories cos we've nothing better to think about apparently.... even Dairy Milk is potentially dangerous . Do I need to go on ?!

Please don't do this! We leave Oz for the UK in just over a week and it's dreadful . We are v sad to be going so need to be cheered up about all that's good about home!

Hay fever, bad air pollution the minute the weather gets nice , oh and ridiculous humidity so that you can't enjoy the brief times its over 25 degrees!

it's f*&(ing expensive here.

This is so funny- reading the things you complain about in the UK like lack of customer service and unfriendliness...

I would say, living in Germany, what I really miss about the UK is the friendliness of the people and the customer service!

expat - thats what i was gonna say - expensive living here and ive said to Dp "can we move as its too expensive living here"

LOL, Sandy. My ex-h's mum was German, so he grew up a dual national speaking German. I remember the first time we went to Germany and went to eat in a restaurant. And the waitress came up and barked at him - in German, of course - 'What do you want?'. It didn't even phase him!

I was so used to American suck-assness my jaw dropped.

How does "it's full of Britons" sound footprint
We can't cope with heatwaves. We can't cope with heavy rain. We can't cope with an inch of snow. We think having the courtesy to learn another language is for losers.
Our high streets are full of sweary, sweaty drunks at all hours.
Whole swathes of suburbia have no local bakery, no produce markets, no proper butchers or delis.

I can't make you feel better footprint, the UK is a nice place to live.

Expat, I remember in my first week in Germany going shopping with an American friend. She wanted to buy a suitcase in this very expensive store.

So she gets completely ignored by 5 sales assistants. This is always the first move. Finally I get their attention. Yes? What do you want?, one asks. My friend smiles (big mistake) and explains she's looking for a suitcase. What size? What colour? What price? the saleswoman asks. My friend isn't 100 percent sure, about this size, maybe this colour. We don't have it, the saleswoman says and turns her back on her.

Oh I love the UK.

okay, here goes:
the british:
they like to wear too much clothing all year and the for one week, too little.
they cant understand other peoples wars, mainly as they werent invited.
they cant manage to get through the day without a sullen 'i hate the weather in this country' typw gripe.

Britain is:
wet, mostly.
full of motorways.
full of shopping centers and shops that are the same as the ones in the next town
mainly sinking!

and yes, im british...well, welsh which is entirely different!

PMSL, Sandy! Yes! The ex would refer to their being very 'direct'.

Can't get much more so than 'What do you want?'

Dear Footprint, sounds like you need to take a bit more control over your life.. Can you plan regular trips, maybe just a week or 10 days to visit your family without your husband? This would give you something to look forward to. Do you attend language classes on a regular basis or can you initiate a language exchange with somebody you would like to know better? Could you start up an English speaking group for Swiss toddlers? .. singing/dancing/nursery rhyme/learning basic numbers etc. Can you move to a bigger town? Have you told your DH that things are so bad you have mulled over the idea of upping sticks (this will be a big eye opener for him..go gently..) Can you take the opprtunity to learn how to cook/make your own clothes/draw/do some other arty activity people never normally have the time for?
I wouldn´t think in terms of how much you miss home, but how YOU can make yourself happier where you are.

And yes, the childcare situation absolutely sucks. I´ve just come to the realization that it´s not feasible for me to work and I don´t like being a SAHM either!

Good luck!

As an aside re customer services in Europe, I don´t know how many times I´ve been told (Mostly shortly after birth I have to say) Madam, you should only be looking HERE (XXL size area) and not around the shop. Or, Madam, yes that´s a good slimming choice. You might even look like a size 20 (I´m size 18).

Favourite "compliment".. no no you can´t possibly be size 18/20. Size 18/20 is absolutely huge (sales assistant opens arms as wide as possible)

In my defence I´m a tall Mummy, most people don´t think I´m overweight!

BigSister they used to tell me to look in the children's department!

Footprint what nationality is dh?

SSSandy, you didn´t appreciate that then?!