I am having a wobble!

[lostinwonderland]

Hi, I have lived in Australia for 10 years and have a DS 6 and a DD 2. It has been hard some of the time, especially being away from family. I have a sister with same age children and parents back in UK. I have always struggled with distance but on balance have enjoyed life here, less stress, climate laid back lifestyle. I have a few good friends and have tried massively to extent support network which has worked in part but have found it to be quite hard to get to know people beyond surface mainly because I guess everyone is busy and has their family here and has no real need to extend that. I have also tried expat groups which has been ok but also everyone is busy etc.
I guess I just miss that support and relationship that you get with family (for better or worse)! I find that when all my friends turn to family at tough times, I have yet again to tough it out, mostly on my own as hubby works long hours. It doesn't seem to be getting any easier and I can see it all stretching out before me.
My kids are lovely, one has some sensory issues, making things interesting at times! Everyone seems to think that oz is the place to stay for the kid's future, all the new poms come with stories of woe from UK.
Anyone else experiencing similar?

Every day.

At school yesterday everyone was talking about seeing their parents over the holiday. Going off to beach houses or farms.

And we just had the school play this week too. Packed with aunties and grandparents. We had to go every night.

I'm used to it now. I have lots of friends. Good friends who I laugh with and who would help me move house and be there for me in a crisis. But they don't love me like my family does. They know, because they care about me that they have to fill some gaps for me. So a big hoo-haa will occur at the school gates when dd loses a tooth. Because they know she needs to tell someone. I feel the closeness eroding away from my family. My mother is naturally more close to her other grandchildren who she sees every couple of months. It's not conscious but it has happened over time.

Easter is my worst time of year as everybody seems to spend it with their families.

Hi...we used to live in NYC (yes I know much closer to UK so not same issues with distance) but I do remember that feeling of grandma popping over every Friday afternoon, people visiting relatives at the weekend, and we had 'just us'.

We're now in an expat place, so all in the same boat. Without a doubt it helps... We are all each others families, as no one has family here.

Nothing more to add other than, 'I hear ya' ...

That eroding away of closeness is so true, an unexpected consequence. The tyranny of distance I guess.

All the time. I've been in NZ 11 years. I know my dss miss out compared to their cousins who spend heaps of time with their Grandparents. My dad also does after school care, swimming lessons etc etc with my nieces and nephews. I am lucky that I have been able to go back to the UK every 12-18 months. For me it's a sanity check. I never say never but I think my boys are better growing up here without family than in the UK with family. Having said that it doesn't always make things easier.

Grandparents day... The worst day in our school year! This year dd took a family friend... Dd is 11 and has never had a gp for grandparents day ;0( ..
In general I am with savoy tho. I have a few close friends and one very close friend. They also gap fill... Supply surrogate gp figures into the deal. My bf's kids are like cousins to my kids.. Often people think we are sisters! It works for both families.
Do you work? You say that everyone is busy... I found to truely settle working was the key. It just helped to occupy my time. Make friends outside of school and kids.
We wouldn't head back to the uk, out kids are Aussies. It's part of their identity.
I hate that my mum doesn't come more often or longer. Dh's mum will never come. and my brother has no kids and will visit at some point, he is great at sending parcels for the kids to keep in touch and they love that!
I haven't been back to the uk in 7 years but dh has with business and found it to be quite badly affected by the gfc still. It's not a reason not to move back tho. I would remember that just because you live close to family the novelty if you being back in the UK will wane. They will also be busy, have otter stuff to do, may move, and then you may be back to about square one ?

When you live abroad you need to figure out how your family back home will fit into your life outside of the UK. We try to have family for the major holidays and birthdays. You talk about grandparents day, I would plan to have at least one grandparent visiting for something like that. My kids are preschool and we are in the US on the East Coast. Flights are 6-8hrs rather than 18-24 so I understand vists are a lot tougher for the 70+ crowd.

Skype is our friend in a major way. Sundays are spent speaking to grandparents, aunts and uncles.

I'm going to do this when I get back off holidays

www.adoptagrandparent.com.au/faq.php