Anyone had a baby in the US

[ChiTownLady]

Just found out I am very slightly pregnant! bit of a shock as have only just moved to Chicago with DS and DH - only been here a month so have not egistered with a doctor - get the impression I need to register not with a GP as such but a more specific OB/Gyn type

Any guidance anyone can give on how its handled over here - apt frequency, schan dates etc would be really useful

I saw one once where the woman had a blissful midwife homebirth in a pool - I was I can tell you!

(May not have been that specific prog I suppose but still it was a US birth one )

Thanks for your comments - got 3 ob/gyns to try tomorrow so will see where we get to....
All seems very surreal and i don't think the reality of situation has sunk in yet....
Think I am pleased - but had shity pregnancy last time round and a miserable birth and early weeks experience - so it really has taken a lot of courage to feel up to it perhaps happening again...and we werent actively trying although not taking precautions as I couldnt bring myself to be that focussed on getting pregnant..
anyhow will let you know how things go

Congratulations! With a little research nd perseverance, I am sure that you can have a positive labour, delivery and recovery in the US.

I had my fourth child in New York City three months ago. Our first two were born in Canada and our third was a homebirth in the UK. My story sounds like a typical negative US Birthstory Episode. (But I think it could have been avoided.)

Guess what? I was induced at 39 weeks.

Guess what else? I was not alowed to move off the bed in labour because every single contraction needed to be monitered. The threat looming over me was an emergency c-section despite the fact that db did not ever show any indication that she was in distress at any point. (I wasn't even 'permitted' to have a wee in the loo!)

Any guesses as to what position I was expected to assume in order to push? Yup! Flat on my back.

If dd2 had been our first she would likely have been an only child.

I am far from over the experience and I haven't even mentioned the nursery/baby PRISON.

BUT this is not really the venue for such a debate.

ChiTownLady wanted advice from people who have had a baby in the US so that her experience could be a positive one. It is not really helpful to suggest that she is doomed to have a horrible time because of a program that you have seen on TV!

My advice would be to chose the hospital/birth centre first and then find an ObGyn/Midwife that practices there. Do NOT believe what they publish as being their policies on mobility during labour, rooming-in and breast feeding (or anything that is important to you) without actually seeing the ward. The published policies for the hospital where I gave birth were not in practice in real life.

If possible, talk to mothers locally who have delivered recently to hear of their experiences. I have spoken to many since my horrible experience and although it has been therapeutic, I sure wish that done the talking before. HTH

I must run as it is bedtime here. I will post more later. Please feel free to ask specific questions any time.

ChitownLady, just wanted to add, since you and I had very similar experiences the first time around, in my experience with this second pregnancy, if they know that you had a bad experience the first time around your doctor probably will (and should!) make an extra effort with you to make this one better. In fact, that is exactly what my OB said to me.

tbh, after my first birth experience, I had decided the only way I could face a second pregnancy was to have an elective section. I was eternally grateful that my Ob agreed wholeheartedly even though they do offer VBAC's as well. The hospital that I have chosen this time around has taken great strides in becoming known for their mother/baby friendly policies and extra nice labour/delivery rooms. Take your time and tour some hospitals. Ask questions and make sure you feel comfortable with the answers.

sorry to cut in but SofiaAmes, please don not diss the NHS with such a broad sweep. I have recently returned from a work trip to New York where my 3 year old son was treated in an appalling manner in a so-called Emergency Room of a University Hospital on the Upper West Side. He was triaged in the reception area in full view of all present, then placed on a filthy trolley and wheeled into a filthier cubicle, next to a wailing drunk. We were not seen by a doctor for 4 hours, despite him presenting with listlessness, a rash, a high temperature and so on. Eventually we were informed that he had a suspected chest infection and given a bill for $598, which was paid by insurance. I took a flight home with him the next day and saw our GP, who sent us straight up to paediatric A&E where within 20 minutes my son was diagnosed with pneumonia.

Had I not been accompanied by a colleague who is an ex nursing sister, I would tend to think that I am exaggerating the detail but it was the worst medical experience of my life, and I have had many, being a long-term cancer patient.

Sorry to hijack but having been to the States many times I am sick and tired of being told how superior the medical system is there.

CTL, best of luck with your pregnancy

Ediemay if you read my posts more carefully you would see that I was relating MY experiences with the NHS which were not good ones mainly because I lived in a poor black neighborhood with a shortage of staff and resources.

By the way, I too had a similar experience to yours, except mine was with the NHS in London. My ds, who was 9 months, had a fever of 105 and was floppy and listless. I went to a&e with him where I waited hours before even being triaged (I would have been quite happy to have had my baby checked out anywhere at that point). I then was passed from one doctor to another, as none of them knew how to look into a baby's ear to see if he had an ear infection (I was fairly sure that's what my ds had as he had had them several times before with the same symptoms). It was 4 hours, and at least 3 nurses and 5 doctors later, before he was seen by a medical professional who knew how to see if he had an ear infection. Having discovered that he did infact have a raging ear infection, we then had to wait 2 hours to get a prescription of antibiotics for it as the hospital doctors could only prescribe for the hospital pharmacy. I can't even begin to describe how absolutely filthy the hospital was, including no baby changing facilities in the bathrooms which were pooled with urine. And let's not even talk about the dead pigeon lying just outside the a&e doors and the clouds of smoke filling the waiting room because no one could bothered to take their cigarettes away from the entrance.
In contrast, several years later, we were in the usa, and my ds had the same symptoms and a high fever. It was Thanksgiving Day (our biggest national holiday, when no one, but no one works). I called our usa gp's office. Within a half hour I had a call back from a gp who advised a treatment (and said to call back if the fever didn't go down) and made arrangements for us to go into the office first thing the next morning to confirm the presence of an ear infection. I paid $85 for the visit. The phone call was free.
Having lived in both the uk and the us, I am sick and tired of being told how superior the NHS is to the american system. The two systems work in very different ways. I would never show up directly at a&e with a sick child (that wasn't clearly in a life or death situation) in the usa, while in london, that was generally my only option. My personal experience with the nhs was terrible from start to finish. I have had both good and bad medical experiences in the usa, but for the most part they have generally been good. But the biggest difference for me was that in the usa, if my treatment was unsatisfactory, I had the choice to go to another doctor. I never had that choice in the uk.

Um, in London, you can call your GPs office out of hours, and get seen, probably in your local hospital, but quicker than A&E.

Or you can go to a hospital with a dedicated children's A&E, and avoid the drunks and the smoke altogether.

Well my experience of taking a child to 'the ER' is that the first person you see is the one who checks your insurance details...hmmmm.

I have had a baby in the US, so I do know what I am talking about within the context of my own experience.

In Ohio, where I lived, lay midwifery was illegal (except perhaps in Amish communities) and CNMs do not do homebirths (my previous 3 births in the UK were all homebirths, so I was disappointed by this lack of choice).

I was very lucky with my OB practice in that they had a midwife on staff. There is a shortage of OBs in Ohio, so CNMs have been offered extra training to enable them to catch the baby. It's not the kind of midwifery that you get in the UK, in that they still follow the obstetric model, but my midwife was very kind and 'let' me make a lot of decisions given that it was my fifth, and an ex-homebirther. I had to see the 2 OBs in the practice as you never know who is on call when you go into labour - when I met them, and they showed no interest in my personal history, I told my CNM that if they were on duty, I was having an unassisted homebirth.

In the hospital, they offer one kind of care - on the bed with monitors. They assume that you will do exactly as they say - wearing hospital gowns etc. (I didn't). As for pain relief you can either choose and epidural, or choose to have nothing. That's not just about pharmacological relief, but no TENS, no birthing pool, movement discouraged, no massage etc.

I did call the shots because I could do the weird European act and the experienced mother act, but it was still a challenge to get what I wanted. You have to be very strong willed to avoid the typical 'A Baby Story'.

I think part of the problem here is the word "choice". Often "choice" in this context really means, being able to have an elective section when you want it. Which I'd say is a sort of choice that is more readily available in the US.

But if by "choice" you mean, the chance of a homebirth, water birth, active labour, or even just a better chance of a non-instrumental delivery, it sounds like the UK has better choice.

ChiTownLady: How did your appts. go? Try not to feel overwhelmed by the negativity on this thread. I am sure that you can deliver your baby safely and comfortably with the right carer for you. Generally second (and subsequent) deliveries are easier and at least you know what you would like to avoid. Try to remain positive and think bout how lovely it will be to cuddle your baby in 8 months time.

I still don't think that this is the proper venue for slagging either the NHS or the US system.

ChiTownLady is pregnant and she will likely have the baby in the USA so she has asked for our help to make the experience a positive one. How is it helpful to come on here and talk about dead pigeons in the UK and unasisted homebirths rather than having an ObGyn deliver your baby in the US?

Dead pigeons?!

Sorry... Only a dead pigeon...

SofiaAmes at 5:38:55: And let's not even talk about the dead pigeon lying just outside the a&e doors and the clouds of smoke filling the waiting room because no one could bothered to take their cigarettes away from the entrance.

Oh, but that was Sofia talking about her experience in the UK, not the US.

I dunno. I haven't been back there in 5 years now and have no plans to even visit anytime in the near future. My family comes here to visit us.

It's been so long I hardly remember what it was like to live there day to day.

Can't say I miss it much. Had both my kids here and they're Scots who happen to have an American mother.

Good luck to you, ChiTown.

Wow, some interesting discussions...

I really do want an elecive section as I know that still 3 years later I still have cold sweats about my whole birthing experience..so I need to find someone who will supprt me in my decision and be able to provide me with the emotional support leading up to it...This has happened about 4 months earlier than we had thought about as I still have not got a strong network of friends built up..although when ds starts school at end of June am hoping that will improve. My expereince of the healthcare so far here fo ds has been fairly efficient - although still suffered very long waits for appts etc.

My poor Dh has been really quiet about the whole thing which is dificult although he admitted yesterday that he was not sure how I was feeling about it (given previous exp) Feel really bad for him as he has been desperate for anoher child for ages and frankly I could have stuck with my lovely ds.

Having said all that am secretly very excited ( other than me being only 2 minutes pregnant and therefore very early days anyway)

Thanks for your comments jw will certainly be looking for support from any ob/gyn of this kind

ExPat: I am clearly in over my head here...

I don't usually comment about other people's negative (irrelevant) posts but I know how scary it is to contemplate having a baby here.

My point was that we were asked for guidance about having a baby in the US and the advice that was given includes stories about sick children in the US and UK etc. etc.

My post about the pigeon at 2:00:24 does say that the pigeon was in the UK: How is it helpful to come on here and talk about dead pigeons in the UK...

Are you still in the US, Cadmum? Cuz it's rubbing off on you if so. :o

Congrats to you and yours, ChiTown! And it's a great excuse to indulge in the culinary delights of Chitown.

:)

Yes. I am a Canadian stuck in New York.

I will bow out gracefully now.

Congrats again ChiTown. I hope you have an easy pregnancy and a lovely American baby!

Hey, Chitown, where are you? Did you say Northwestern was nearby? So that puts you in.... Streeterville? Northwestern is known as a good hospital in Chicago. I grew up in the Chigaco burbs, but had both my children in the UK. So I'm afraid I haven't much advice on maternity care. But I will say this...

I agree wholeheartedly with everything Sofia said (as always). Hi Sofia

Another difference is that US doctors are allowed to use their own brains, rather than act like robots who just recite national guidelines. ^^

Again thanks - can't seem to get any appts until late next week unfortunately - noone wanted to see me until i was 8 weeks - so i begged a little and one dr has agreed to see me earlier...

so thats good news..but not as early as I would like

Hey, where are you? I haven't seen you before. Are you new to MN?

It appears most of them don't have brains - well, maybe a medulla to keep them breathing.

See my 'God, why are some of them such utter tossers' thread.

:o

No i'm not new been on here for yrs and yrs but I am afraid I am a very serial lurker - i've been on a few convo's with comeovenner ( who was in chicago last yr and became the font of all my knowledge)

We have just moved out to chicago at end of April - my dh was here from feb - but I had to pack in my job etc and get house closed up and rented - frankly all the crap.

I have a ds who is 3 ...so I have, overnight, become a SAHM, stopped working and found my self in a new country and up the duff! So require plenty of support.

DS watching lots of TV - so reinforcing my feeling of being very bad mummy....

sorry re read yr message I am spitting distance from northwestern...on corner of wabash and huron..great location in highrise - but not a million outdoor things to do right on our doorstep - but not too bad....