Is your new 'home' country what you thought it would be ? better, worse, kind of what you thought, or could be a different planet !!!!!!!
Well, it's pretty much what I thought it would be, tbh. Although as you say, living here is a whole different kettle of fish from just visiting.
Did you do lots of research, visits beforehand???
Research, not so much; visits - well yes, one before I'd ever met DH and then came here 3 times with him, using the last one as more of a "preparation for moving here" visit than a holiday, so looking at facilities, what's the same, what's different etc.
Did you just go with your fingers crossed and hope that all would be well ???
Well yes, to some extent - but we moved to a house that DH's mother owned, in a town 15minutes from where she lives, because that's what DH wanted to do and he couldn't be happy in England, so far from his mum (I know, but what can you do?)
What would you do or not do if you could do it again ?????
I think I'd hold out for longer. We moved out here when DS1 was 20mo and I think I'd have liked to wait until he was a bit older, tbh. I'd also need a personality transplant though, to become more organised and get everything sorted properly instead of leaving a bunch of stuff at my Dad's, which I'm supposed to sort out every time I go back there but never seem to get the time.
I'd bring more of the stuff I still miss now! Because we had to pack the house up weeks before we moved, as I still didn't have my visa, I kept back some stuff that I used regularly and that was then too expensive to fly/ship over later - I'd send that and borrow stuff to have used in the UK until we left.
Little things do make all the difference. One of the things that still bugs me, nearly 4y on, is that I don't just know where to go to buy certain things - in the UK, I knew which shop or which sort of shop I could go to for pretty much everything - here, I don't. And sometimes neither does DH.
But I will say that I have been pretty lucky in the people I have met - living in a provincial town in NSW has been kind to me, the playgroup ladies have become friends, and DS1 has moved on to primary school with several of his playgroup buddies. I'm now at the point (and probably have been for a year) of seeing people I know in the supermarket/shopping centre nearly every time I go, which makes me feel like I belong.
It has been said of Australians that they are good at superficial friendliness but not following through and becoming friends - I did find that to start with but persevering has brought me friends. If I had to move again, I'd find it very difficult to do so, which has led to DH turning down the opportunity for a promotion (involved moving to Melbourne) - his choice, I hasten to add, he wouldn't have wanted to be so far from his Mum either!
Was it worth it?
Overall I'd have to say yes, I suppose:
? I have a reasonably nice life here, even though I get pissed off to the back teeth with the invasive wildlife in the house;
? I don't need to work for us to get by, although if I did, we'd be able to save money as well;
? there were no issues getting DS1 into school as it's automatic right of entry into the local schools here;
? DS2 was born last year under the auspices of a very understanding obgyn - not saying I wouldn't have had as good care in the UK but the facility to have a private obgyn who was always the same one might have been harder to obtain - easy as pie here;
? There's only a teeny tiny language barrier and you quickly learn the words you need to be careful of - although I do now also ask if X is the same here as in the UK, just to be on the safe side. Openness helps. Also swearing like a navvy seems to help too, as it offsets the "seen as posh" English accent. [bugrin]
? we have our own swimming pool which would never have happened in the UK! [shallow]
Things that have helped:
? Persuading the local supermarket to stock Boursin (you have no idea, it seems tiny but it made all the difference to my general levels of misery!)
? Being able to go back to the UK every year with DS1 to see family, so that he knows them, and they know him and now we're taking DS2 back for his first visit as well
? Decent broadband and Skype
? Not having to learn a foreign language
? MIL being on hand to help with childcare - we wouldn't have had that in the UK as my Dad wasn't able to look after DS1 when he was tiny (in nappies) by himself.
Probably a lot more but my post is already epic enough! [bugrin]