Lieber Frühling, komm doch bald. A new Kaffeeklatsch thread for Spring - living in Austria and Germany

[Ploom]

All welcome - whether you're living in Germany or Austria, have questions about life in those countries or just want to chat.

Previous thread here

[LentilAsAnything]

Welcome back, Bertie, and welcome anew, Tabitha.
Tabitha, I think with your level of German, you will be fine, and with a decent basis, it should be easier to pick up more and more just by being here. Good luck, and hope the move goes smoothly.

Hello again, Ploom!

admylin, your husband's workplace/colleagues are atrocious. Sadly, it is far from uncommon. Hope the new job gets sorted soon, and they are more professional.

Tumbles, so sorry re your youngest's sleeping. How exhausting for you, and him. I hope he just grows out of it!

Nuts, glad your little one at least is letting you rest a bit.

hupa, glad you had a nice time in the UK. Mm, crumpets!

outnumbered, sorry the house wasn't right for you. Hope you find something soon.

platanos, so sorry to hear about your DD bed wetting. Poor little thing, I hope she is ok and the phase passes soon.

Linzer, sorry to hear about your friend. It certainly does put things in perspective. I hope she is healed and well again soon.

Hello to anyone I have missed.

We are feeling good about the move to Scotland. Lots to sort out, getting our stuff over (feels my decluttering bug beckoning), getting ourselves over, packing up our life here. Told DS's gym instructor today that we were leaving and we'd be cancelling the direct debit, and he said they changed the rules last month and unless you told them by the end of March, you are signed up til June 2014!!! Huh? What toddler class makes you sign up for over a year away? Anyway, he reckons I should be able to get out of this weird contract as we are leaving the country. I should hope so! Well, we won't have a bank account here, so they can whistle! Am sure we didn't sign up for this.
Two more of DH's colleagues handed in their notice today! Lots of people feeling the place isn't being run well. Better not say more as I am identifiable on here, but definitely feels like the right move for DH professionally to jack things in here.

[admylin]

Lentil that's one of the things that bugs me ALOT in Germany, you have to be so organised or you find yourself bound to another year or even 2 of a contract. If you're lucky you can get out of things with a month or 3 notice. Hope they let you off but as you say, if you don't even have an account here there isn't much they can do!
Are you getting a van to take all your stuff back or are you down to a car load only?

Bertie great that you've found plenty of other families in the area. I am also always torn between living really in the centre or further out on the quiet side of town! I suppose you get more space for your money on the outskirts but have to pay more for transport. We're right on the very edge of Hannover now but it's quite a small city so we can be in the centre within 20 minutes but it can be abit too quiet out here but no problem or worry for me where the dc are concerned!

[outnumberedbymen]

Phew just hd the MDK here to see if we are entitled to Pflegegeld for ds2 as well as ds1. If it is ruled that we are, then we will be paid the Pflegegeld from when we first sent in the forms... Which was in November!!! And as they took so long they also, irrelevant of the actual out o e, have to pay us a fine of ?70/week, which should now make just over ?1000 by itself! Here's me dreaming what to do with the money should we be awarded Pflegegeld..

linzer very and frightening about your friend. I hope they caught it in time and that she makes a full recovery, but it will be a long and hard road ahead of her and her close ones.

lentils don't worry about that contract with the gym. It is common to have to give notice 3 mo ths in advance - and unless you tell them in writing that you no longer wish to attend, the contract will just keep going. I think that's just the way German contract law is. but if you are no longer able to use the service (sickness, move far away etc) you can get out of it. You just need to show them proof of it. We had to do the same 2 years ago.

hupa the puppy is coming! Well. That is if our landlord finally gives us written permission. He has no legal grounds to refuse,but he insists to talk to his lawyer first - which won't be happening until next week. Any good lawyer will tell him we are entitled to permission and, should be take him to court over it, he would lose. Of course we wouldn't sue, but he does t know that. It's just annoying as I have to make preparations, but am trying not to be too excited just in case it doesn't wok out.

I spoke to the breeder again and she said that she believes that a quiet male would be better for our boisterous boys than a girl. A boy it is then....I think anything pink is just not meant to be in our house

Ploom Re the house, I spoke to the owners again I think they may be willing to go down on the price a little. And me and dh decided that we'd be wiling to accept a little less space downstairs, as long as everyone has their own good-sized bedroom. And we'd be creating a bedroom for ourselves downstairs. We'll probably meet up on the weekend and discuss price etc. this whole dog- issue has just shown us a major reason why we don't want to rent anymore. We need to be able to make decisions and choices which are right and important for us and the boys, without having to go begging the landlord, waiting weeks for decisions etc.

admylin it sounds like such a difficult decision. And I am also a complete control freak, cannot stand being in limbo. I always need to know one way or the other. I hope the new employers give your dhall necessary info in writing ASAP so that you can finally decide!

mrtumble i was also thinking what ploom said about your ds2's sleeping. I had an email of a good friend the other day. Her youngest ds ( was 2 in Feb) hasn't slept for more than a couple of hours in one stretch, basically since he was born. Doctors have finally started to take he seriously now and the hospital will monitor him in his sleep to see if there is a reason why he keeps waking up ( maybe sleep apnea)
I must be sooo exhausting for you, and it makes me thing how lucky I am really when it comes to our boys' sleeping. Yes, they are early risers, but at least they sleep until then.

Got lots on my mind at the mo, lots to sort out wrt ds1&2 which is why I have been sleeping well myself. That should all calm down in 2 weeks though, fingers crossed.

Sorry for mammoth post, and hello to everyone else

[admylin]

outnumbered hope the pflegegeld gets sorted out for you! Great about the puppy and the house! Have a look at some of the tiny houses and interiors like these, they're the absloute extreme of living in small houses/spaces and it might make the house seem alot bigger!

I was also thinking it'd be nice for dd to have a dog or cat but don't want the hassle of begging the old witch of a landlady. Where did you find out for sure that you'd win if you had to go to court about it?

[outnumberedbymen]

admylin do you know the exact wording in your contract wrt pets?

[admylin]

It's the standard Mietvertrag - Für jede Tierhaltung insbesondere von Hunden und Katzen ausgenommen Kleintiere...bedarf es der vorherigen ausdrücklichen Erlaubnis des Vermieters...makes me mad just reading it!

[outnumberedbymen]

Not entirely sure about that clause. We have a different one 'absolute kleine tierhaltung, auch keine Kleintiere' !!! And there was a recent court ruling saying they are invalid as unfair for the tenant.

I got advice through some mietrecht forum online. In general I think the law is now very in favour of tenants wrt dogs and cats. The landlord has to take everyone's interest into account. Just them not liking dogs etc is not enough.

Do any of your neighbours have dogs or cats?

[LentilAsAnything]

outnumbered, hope you get the extra money.

Thanks, and admylin, for assuring me it should be easy to get out of the gym contract! I think it is a popular class, I am sure they have a steady flow of children joining.

DH's dad is driving a van over from Fife to here, then they'll drive back. DS and I will have to fly, as the carseat won't go in the van, nor will three adults plus toddler fit anyway.

[admylin]

outnumbered I agree that it's a silly rule and hope your landlord changes it. I honestly think as long as they get their house/flat back in the same standard as it was when handed over to the tenants they can't say much about what you do when you live there.

Are you in a Mieterverein of any sort? I was thinking of joining one but not sure which one.

Lentil that sounds like you're well organised! It's a long drive up to Scotland so maybe you got the best deal of flying over!

[LentilAsAnything]

DH has done all the organising, he's done well, there's so much to wade through, working out how to do it economically. Yeah, flying will be quick for DS and me, though I wouldn't have minded a road trip!

[TabithaGraves]

Thanks for all of the welcomes and all of the reassurance as well!

outnumbered I hope everything works out so that the puppy can come home. Our dog came to us as a baby one year before we had our girls, and he has been so good with the kids and such a great companion to go for runs with, keep me company when DH is out of town or works late, etc. I am almost embarrassed to say that a good portion of my stress about moving logistics comes from wanting to make sure that everything is in order for him to fly over with us and have a rental house ready that will be OK with us having him. So far everything looks pretty good -- the process for bringing a dog over from the States to Germany looks relatively straightforward if you follow all of the rules (I believe it is MUCH harder to bring a dog over to the UK for example). What kind of puppy would you be getting?

lentils good luck on your move!

Bertie, we are also looking at renting a house in a first ring suburb with the dog and kids we will need a bit more space as well as green space. But as I will need to get into town rather quickly each day to take the train, I don't want to live much further than that. In re: Americans I don't think mumsnet is very well known over here. I heard about it from an English friend from my last European secondment.

[outnumberedbymen]

Hello tabitha it's a flatcoated retriever we are getting. He is 6.5 weeks old today!

Did you say you are moving to Cologne? My brother and his family live there, I think near Rhodenkirchen? They love that part of town but I do think its not the cheapest neighborhood. Must be ok for getting into the centre reasonably quickly though, as he works at the university hospital.

[MrTumblesBavarianFanbase]

Oh just realised I haven't replied on here in a while.

Ploom and Outnumbered I have seen 2 different paediatricians about DS2's sleep. The first (our regular one) took a history, did a physical examination, said he has no obvious problem causing the very fragmented sleep (checked ears, adenoids, listened to heart and lungs), said that his development is ahead of average and seems unaffected by his poor sleep, and offered to proscribe a sedative - which I turned down immediately. After I bit more reading I realise that if the sedative was actually melatonin it might not have been such a terrible thing, but sedating a not quite 2 year old who is not suffering himself from the lack of sleep just seemed utterly the wrong thing to do to me. Then he decided he couldn't help me but referred me to his wife, who is also a paediatrician but focussing mainly on babies and on homoeopathy.

The second paediatrician did the same physical assessment and also talked to him a lot more - she talked to him in English too, and she also said he is not suffering from the lack of sleep and is ahead of average in terms of all 'round development, and this meant in her opinion there isn't a problem. She said there is nothing "wrong", it is simply that he is a child with a greater level of attachment and higher level of needs than average, and it is within the normal range though not typical. Then she gave me some advice but I am not sure how "medical" it was, and how much it was her opinion - about changing associations etc (moving him to sleep in a different room, changing the order of the bedtime routine simply to signal a change rather than because one way is better than another, etc. She also proscribed chamomelia (?) globulii - which I tried as directed for a week and which had no effect at all, and gave me home spun advice on getting my older kids to help me more in the day time and take more responsibility for themselves, going out once a week and having his father do bedtime (I already work twice a week in the eves anyway so no free pass for a night out there) and not listening to anyone who tried to tell me what my child "should" be doing sleep wise... Which I didn't really need a paediatrician for tbh :)

Sorry that's turned epic already! Anyway I have been to the Kinderartz, I guess next resort would be melatonin but I would rather he just grows out of it!

outnumbered hope your landlord stops being silly so you can get your dog. Admylin maybe you can get a dog or cat in Berlin? I think our landlord is OK about pets - he owns the other side of our doublehouse too and they have a dog, and we have rabbits, which he knows about.

Good luck with the moves Tabatha and Lentil

Waves at everyone else, DS2 is jumping on me and DD will be home in a second so better stop typing!

[BertieBotts]

I can't remember if I asked this before but is anyone else near Karlsruhe? Was there ever a meet up scheduled? no rush of course but it seems like a nice idea at some point in the future. :)

[admylin]

I'm not near you Bertie I'm in Hanover (for the moment)!

tumbles let's hope your ds2 grows out of it or more like grows into sleeping better or atleast when he gets abit older and you can reason with him, he can busy himself quietly in bed/his room if he doesn't want to/can't go to sleep!

Dh got in trouble at work yesterday and was called to the office.
He hasn't told them he's got another offer yet but they were mad because he sent a manuscript off without getting the go ahead first (he was sick of waiting for them to decide) and he had to call it back and apologise. He told them to sack him if it's so bad but they said no, they need him.

[LentilAsAnything]

The sooner he is out of there, the better, admylin. What rotters they sound.

[outnumberedbymen]

admylin any news about the position in Berlin? I agree, it sounds like your dh really needs to leave his current job ASAP, no matter hat they may offer him should he stay. But incompletely understand that you need to am sure that working conditions will really be better in the new job. Good luck!!

It's been an exhausting but also positive weekend. The landlord finally sent us a - very friendly!- email saying we a keep a dog here. Hooray

And last night we had a phone call from the house we put an offer in for. Looks like they will accept it and are keen t move fast. He's already been to see a solicitor. And they have also already found somewhere suitable fir themselves and will move forward with that too. We are meeting Wednesday night o discuss details.

And this morning I spoke to our krankenkasse, and I have been awarded Pflegegeld for ds2 as well. Unbelievably really that his pre school still maintains that he is a healthy and normally developed 4-year-old

Now I am nervous about my appt with ds2 in Frankfurt tomorrow. We are the autismusambulanz at the uniklinik there for a second diagnosis.

This arvo I have taking three dcs to the dentist to look forward to. On my own...

Hope everyone has lots of sunshine this week we have 23 degrees.

[AntiqueMuppet]

Hello! Sorry I've been awol for a while, just a quick post to say hello while DS naps - I'll try and catch up with everyone later.
Hope everyone is enjoying the weather; I've just come in from the garden as I was starting to fry in the sun.
Welcome to Bertie and Tabitha and good luck with the upcoming moves. I'm in Wiesbaden.
Good news on the house and the Pflegegeld, outnumbered, and of course the dog too.
I'm on my phone so can't scroll back and have of course completely forgotten what everyone else has written.

[admylin]

Antique lovely weather here too - now you can atleast start to make the most of having a garden of your own! Have you started planning what you're going to plant?

outnumbered congratulations on all the positive things like letters from landlord and pflegegeld, house etc! How was the dentist visit? I've just got back from the orthodontist with ds. A quick one again, in and out in 2 minutes.

lentil how's the packing going? Will you be taking more back than you came with?

Dh is waiting to speak to the Berlin people on the 26th. They're trying to offer him all sorts here and he found out that the big boss treats alot of people badly on his staff and then always calls and apologises. He must have some sort of personality disorder where he can't control himself and shouts at people but later regrets it, he also has the classic 'god in white' syndrome.

[LentilAsAnything]

Wow, out at all your positive progress! :)

Hi, Muppet!

admylin, I hope things work out whether you all stay or go.

We do have more than we came with, as we bought a mattress here (not a normal one, a hippy latex nontoxic one, you know me! :)), it's huge, 200cmx200cm. Also got two sofas that I'd like to take back. Happy to leave the dining table and wardrobes and spare bed. Clothes-wise, I have less, and anything worn out we have not been replacing. DS has quite a few more books. Oh dear. I am still aiming to be more minimal, but it is a journey. :)

Boiling not here, woo hoo. Took DS to the park in a very light linen playsuit, legs out, arms bare, got lots of looks from the locals with their children all dressed in various layers with warm hats on. :)

[AntiqueMuppet]

Lentils It was something like 24'c here this afternoon and I was the only person in our area without my big thick winter coat. I got a few pointed stares but I was hot enough in just a vest and jeans, I would have died in a big thick padded jacket!

admylin Your DH really needs to get out of there, it just sounds worse and worse every time you mention his current place of work. Fingers crossed Berlin make him an offer he can't refuse and one that is worth the hassle of uprooting you and your DC.
I've planted some radishes and am planning my next green-fingered project. I thought I might go and get some nice flowers at the weekend to plant and make a start on my herb/vegetable patch.

outnumbered How did it go at the dentist today? Good luck for your appointment tomorrow. I was going to suggest meeting for a coffee in Frankfurt but tomorrow is turning into a busy one for us.

Linzer Sorry to hear about your friend. News like that does make you think about things differently. Did you hear how her op went?

Bertie One of my friends used some MN terminology in an email recently and it's had me wondering if she's spotted me on here (I think if you know me in RL I'm probably really easily identifiable.)

Ploom Any update on the job? Are the hospital still faffing around? I hope they sort things soon - I'd hate to be all up in the air like that.

hupa Glad to hear you had a nice time in the UK!

This is quite a mammoth post already so I'll just say hello to anyone I've missed and then I shall pack myself off to bed. Night night!

[LentilAsAnything]

Oops, I am sure you all knew I meant boiling hot not boiling not! :)

[hupa]

I´ve been making the most of the weather and been weeding the garden. It´s so lovely not having to wrap up in warm clothes. I´ve even braved a skirt while I´ve been in the garden, but have put trousers on to go further afield as I fear the glare from my white legs might blind someone.

outnumbered That´s brilliant news about the house and dog. I hope the dentist visit was just as successful.

admylin Is your dh leaning more towards staying or going? I suppose he needs to know exactly what the deal is in Berlin. His boss here has really chosen the wrong time to be so petty.

Lentil How long have you got before you move? Will your dh get a moving package with the new job or have you got to organise the move yourselves?

Muppet Great to see you around again. I´m also thinking of buying flowers at the weekend. I can´t wait to get a bit of colour into the garden. I´m just worried we´re being lulled into a false sense of security and in a week we´ll be deling with snow again.

Hope everyone else is making the most of the weather and having a great time.

[hupa]

Bertie Someone on the thread did mention setting up a map somewhere online where we could pin where we are living. Unfortunately, I can´t remember who it was or exactly how it would work, but maybe one of the others can remember.

[itsMYNutella]

Sorry, I haven't welcomed the newbies, nice to have you here bertie and tabitha :)

outnumbered so glad you have had so much good news recently! Can't wait to see puppy pictures!

antique I got sunburn yesterday :( my poor pale skin! Went for a walk around the local lake with some other mummies and then sat and enjoyed the sun - I actually sat under an umbrella I had with me because it was too much sun for me, I was too late though.

lentils on the walk yesterday there were obviously really mixed opinions about what babies can wear- DS was probably (like yours) one of those wearing the least but others still have their babies in ski suits !

asmylin any news yet about your DH?

Actually I need to find him a nice cotton summer hat... The only problem is he does have a big head so will have to try some on him.

I had my first student today, since DS arrived, :). I've been teaching him for nearly 2 years and his mum is very keen that the lessons continue.
I said I couldn't guarantee that DS would sleep so as long as that was ok for them I was happy to start again. DS was a good boy and slept the first half then was awake and did a lot of farts and a poo (but don't think the student noticed) and then he was fairly quiet again. All in all - success!