2013 ist schon da! A new Kaffeeklatsch thread for the New Year - living in Germany and Austria

[LinzerTorte]

All welcome - whether you're living in Germany or Austria, have questions about life in those countries or just want to chat.

Previous thread here.

admylin I wasn't insured - well I was, but not for theft, only for damage etc. It's costing a fortune to replace the phone, not helped by the fact that I have to upgrade to an iPhone 5 (trailed the shopping centre on Saturday to see if anyone was still selling a 4 that we could get through Orange, but no luck). I did actually make a list of most of the phone numbers I had on my phone in a fit of organisationalness a few months back, although needn't have bothered as have just discovered they're all on my iCloud, along with my reminders - but that seems to be about it.

I can't wait until the DC can start cooking their own meals. I usually freeze half of whatever I cook or we have it two days running; how long it lasts depends on whether DH likes the look of it when he comes home!

Good news (I think) on my health insurance, though. DH phoned them on Friday, said they were extremely unfriendly (was very glad I hadn't phoned) but they said I could send a letter stating that my earnings wouldn't exceed a certain amount and that may reduce the amount I have to pay (no idea by how much, though). The other thing I need to look into is whether I need to have my own health insurance at all or whether I can go back to being covered by DH's insurance. Apparently I either can't be (or don't have to be, DH wasn't quite sure) insured separately if I'm earning under ?6,500 a year. DH said he would phone up the Arbeiterkammer to try and find out more. In return, I phoned the dentist to make an appointment for him.

Photos after October probably all lost, though (the ones prior to that are on my computer), as are short films of the DDs at their piano concerts etc. I'm not actually sure how much is backed up on the computer, but I know that I didn't have enough storage on iCloud and would have had to pay to back up everything (which I didn't).

Oh no, I hadn't read it correctly about the insurance being for the new phone. Still, good that you could manage to replace it. What a shame about the lost films and pictures. Maybe someone else filmed the concert?

We lost all our photos from our trip to Texas and our whole life in Berlin when the old computer died. Digital is good but only when you have the time and brains to think of making copies or even printing real photos!

It's pancake day tomorrow! Anyone making them? I think I might do some savoury ones for the dc's lunch.

Did you have to go through Orange, linzer? Or was it much cheaper that way? Just wondering as other places, like amazon as well, still sell new iPhone 4 and 4s.

I have ds2&3 at home today and tomorrow as their kiga is shut. Had a friend over this morning whose son also has asd. He's a couple if years older than ds1 and its always very interesting to compare notes. I am having lots of difficulties with that Autisverein who supply our Integrationskräfte. I am considering changing 'providers' but need to decide ASAP as its not long until ds1 starts school, and everything needs to be in place well before then.

This arvo I have organised a play date at our house which I will probably regret later. I don't even have an integrationshelfer here but our babysitter is coming over to help out.

Sounds like ds3 had finally gone to sleep. Ds2 is watching something on volcanoes and I will try to have a little rest myself now

Linzer Sorry to hear about your phone. I don't what I'd do without mine. So annoying when you're not sure what /how it went missing.

admylin thank you, I didn't know tomorrow is pancake day :o I better go buy me some lemons!

Hope everyone had a good weekend. I haven't managed to keep up, are DCs back at school this week?

I managed to survive DP being away last week :o I also managed to cook him a long overdue birthday cake :) -he needed something to make him smile. TI worked.

Today I have a rather grumpy difficult DS. although he slept rather well last night I think we are having a growth spurt, tomorrow he is six weeks old. All he has done this morning is cry when he isn't feeding and concentrating on filling another nappy.... It's so hard when he has that sad little look on his face.

admylin Had forgotten about it being pancake day tomorrow, despite the fact that it's Faschingsdienstag... pancakes are DS's favourite dinner, so I'm sure he won't object if I make them!

outnumbered I did wonder about looking online but iPhones are even more expensive to buy without a contract. I did have a quick look on Amazon - the one seller who shipped to Austria charged almost as much for an iPhone 4 as I paid for the 5. I'm not going to look into it too closely though, as I'll only end up being even more annoyed with myself if I discover I could have got a new phone much more cheaply and delivered within a couple of days! I could have got a new phone straight away with 3 (another mobile phone company), but that wasn't much use when I still have a contract with Orange that I can't cancel for a while. Hope the playdate goes well!

Some work has just arrived with a deadline tomorrow afternoon, which I wouldn't normally have taken on as it will mean working quite late tonight (and cancelling coffee with a friend tomorrow), plus DD1 will be home from school at 10.30am tomorrow thanks to Fasching. I don't feel like I can turn it down, however... it will pay for about a third of my phone.

x posts Nutella. Glad you survived the week; I used to find it very hard being on my own when the DC were little. Hope your DS is feeling happier soon; it's really difficult when they're not happy, isn't it?

How annoying, linzer. I would also be upset at losing videos and photos from my phone more than losing the phone itself. I don't backup the phone very often, must think about doing so soon, or setting up the iCloud photo stream thing, although my phone may be too old for that.

admylin shortly after I got my digital camera, my dad insisted on demonstrating his "workflow" for uploading photos onto the computer. I suppose in retrospect it was very good, as I now save copies of everything I upload onto an external hard drive at the same time as onto the computer. I then save another copy of each picture when I put the photos into Lightroom to edit them, so I end up with 3 copies of each photo (one on the computer, two on the external drive). This does mean that my 2TB hard drive is half full already, though.

I can't decide about making pancakes tomorrow or not. I've got an evening rehearsal to go to, so will be eating at the same time as dd anyway, but dh may not be home early enough to eat with us. And I'd have to go to the shop to buy some milk as it's not something we have in normally.

outnumbered does your friend use the same autism service as you, or is she with one that she's happier with? Would changing mean you would get different Integrationshelfer to the ones your dss are used to now? It must be a hard decision. Hope your playdate goes smoothly this afternoon!

DD is finally allowed to "fasch" tomorrow at kiga. I'm a bit worried I'm going to forget to take her in early - they want all the dc there for breakfast. Last year I was the only parent to bring their child at 9am , but fortunately dd was too young to realise my faux pas!

x-posts, as well, nutella

Schools in Bavaria are closed this week, so we might not see much of ploom and mrtumbles (well, except I'm meeting ploom in rl on Friday as dd's kiga is closed). My halfterm is next week, but I will have to do some lesson preparation, boo.

Hope you've got some nice groups to go to. I always found being around other adults distracted me and made the time pass quicker when dd needed walking around and jiggling for hours on end. It will pass .

Hello :o I caught up yesterday but got called away before I posted, so now can't remember much except about Linzer's phone - how annoying and expensive! I upload the pics from my phone and camera to my laptop and then upload the best to Picasa every 2 or 3 weeks, not every photo by any means - I "share" the Picasa albums with my parents (who don't use fb) but the main advantage is that then I have full resolution copies stored not dependent on one piece of technology. I don't have Apple phone or computers so don't have icloud, but have got in the habbit of doing it that way - means I wouldn't lose more than a few weeks worth of photos anyway.

Faschings Ferien is this week, so kids off school, but they are going to Oma and Opa for 3 nights from tomorrow! DH and I are going away for 2 of the nights, we'll not be any further from where the kids are than we would be at home, but in another direction, we're going to Dinkelsbühl for 2 nights - first time away without the kids since about a year before Henry was born. Has anyone been there? Looks a lovely medieval city, not intending to do much more than wander about and eat out - anyone know any good restaurants there? :o

outnumbered your playdate comment hit home, as we usually have a few extra kids here, it's often easier to have 5 kids here than 3, as if each of the older ones has a friend over they bicker less with each other - only that Henry is now the age where he wants to join in, so occupying him when they don't want him is the main issue. Shows how different your life with your boys must be that you need a babysitter over to help if you want a playdate! Is that because of your eldest's impulse control issues, or because they need the whole playdate to be structured and supervised in order for it to go smoothly?

Hope your DS cheers up soon Nutella - is it just a phase do you think? No tummy ache/ constipation?

Took the kids to the Fasching parade yesterday and ended up waiting a rather long time - thy only publish the start time, so you have to guess where they'll be at points along the route - they don't come to our village so we go to one a couple of km away, but ended up there an hour before the parade - lots of other people were there too but it was quite a long wait with 3 kids, the big 2 were fine but DS2 was running about and getting restless and grumpy, then decided he needed his nappy changing, meaning I had to take him back to the car to change it and almost missed the parade after all that waiting! They enjoyed the parade though, although DD and DS1 focus rather too intently on the sweet gathering and the parade itself is unfortunately a side issue! Ds2 is too young to be safe with boiled sweets and was fascinated with the parade once it actually arrived - when he was a toddler DS1 used to find it too loud and howl and cover his ears, so I had to stand quite a way away, meaning DD couldn't collect sweets (DH won't go to the parades so no extra adult to take her forward) but for DS2 it seems the louder the better, and DS1 is (mostly) over his extreme noise sensitivity so in that sense its easier now.

wave at everyone I've missed, memory like a sieve...

Oh I dimmly remember something about a map of where we all live (and Linzer commenting on distance from Playmobile land) I'm happy to do that if its a real thing, (in an off-MN location of course). We are only just over an hour from Playmobile Land - and just under an hour from Munich, in a different direction of course.

Ds used to be like your ds1 mrtumbles and would hold his hands over his ears if things got too loud. We once went to a demo, something to do with kindergarden cuts and we were all meant to blow whistles standing outside the Rathaus but ds couldn't bear it so we had to leave. Even now both my dc come and tell me to turn my music down when I'm ironing! Sensitive creatures, I thought teenagers were meant to be loud and listen to loud music and stuff

cheas what make is your hard drive? I was using a Corsair Flash Voyager usb stick to save all my photos and one day I put it in the computer and it showed up as 0 bytes! Thought it was quite a good quality usb stick but they're obviously not 100% safe either.

Linzer hope you manage to get the work done! Thank goodness you've got dh to sort out all the insurance stuff. I hate having to do that sort of thing and dh is useless at it.

Nutella hope your ds cheers up soon. It's abit cold to be out and about alot isn't it? I remember ds having a day like that , typical on a Sunday, and dh was at work (student job in a restaurant) and I ended up getting a taxi to the hospital because I just didn't get why he wouldn't stop crying. It was nothing - maybe just fed-up-ness or frustration about whatever babies get frustrated about in their tiny heads! How I wish I'd discovered mumsnet back then!

outnumbered hope the play date goes well!

nutella well done for surviving without your dp and sorry to hear ds is quite hard work at the moment. I do remember that stage well. and I also remember well how I felt when dh was away for a couple of days when ds1 was little. I guess it shows how one rises to meet the challenges, as less than three years on I was on my own with three little ones during the weeks.
I agree with cheas - baby groups were my life line when ds1 was little. I was very lucky as in Lancaster there were loads of great baby and toddler groups, and I had one to go to almost every weekday. It was usually the same bunch of people at all groups which meant that I got to know them very quickly. When we moved to Lüneburg I felt very lonely without my groups. and although I did find a couple of groups, it was always either aimed at babies OR toddlers, and therefore unsuitable for me with three children pre-kiga-age.

linzer good luck getting the work done on time. not nice having to work in the evenings once the dc are in bed is it. The one thing I really really did not enjoy about post-dc, as my evenings and weekends seem sacred to me.

cheas glad your dd was finally allowed to fasch did she enjoy it?
yes, changing 'provided' would mean changing Integrationshelfer, as it's basically competition. my friend is with the Lebenshilfe and she is happy with them. BUT the Lebenshilfe would most probably not have the resources to supply Integrationshelfer to come and support us at home as we are getting now. my friend's ds only has a 1-2-1 at school; they manage fine at home as both her and her dh are teachers and are at home in the arvos and school holidays. It's difficult. I like our Integrationshelfer, but I have a problem with the management. and as the Verein is very small, not seeing eye-to-eye with the management is a big deal. I have asked for a crisis talk, including dh, which will be happening on Wednesday evening.

our play date was a great success everyone had lots of fun. our fantastic babysitter even entertained all of them upstairs by herself so that I could have a little chat with the mum. ds1 did really really well. the mum had brought both her kids; one of them is at ds2&3's kiga, the other one started school last AUgust. ds1 played well with both of them, and when it got to much for him he retreated to his room and played some Lego for a little bit. ds2 was harder work. he doesnt show challenging behaviour towards others usually, but he starts to stim a lot, starts to shout instead of talk and runs around manically. and ds3 is his usual kamikaze-kid-self . anyway, the main thing is that our visitors clearly enjoyed themselves too and have invited us to come to theirs next time. and ds1 went to bed beaming too.

yes mrtumble overall my life is very isolated. It has changed a little for the better since having the support at home, but play dates by myself are a nightmare. with ds1 it's very much hit or miss. you just never know if he'll be ok or he'll start to be very controlling or even aggressive. ds2 is always hard work, even when there is just one extra person in the room (doesnt even have to be a child, but this morning with my friend over was hard too). I am very glad though that I have finally started getting some contacts to some really lovely mums through ds2&3 kiga. as crap as the kiga is, for that it's been worth it.

sorry for typos by the way - the touchfreeze on my netbook isnt working

grrrr...exactly....what I was trying to write before the stupid touchpad took over...the touchfreeze isnt working properly, and the cursor is jumping around as I type. must get dh to have a look at it...

Hi everyone,

I am wondering if any of you could help me, my Dh has a job interview in munich in a couple of weeks, it's kind of come out of the blue, so I was just wondering if anyone could tell me what it's like to live there etc. We currently live in london.

we have a 19month old DD, so any info on preschools and childcare would also be a bonus.

Thanks in advance.

Good evening bubbles I'd love to live in Munich. It's a very nice city but can't help too much with info as I've only been there a couple of times to visit DP's brother and I live in the north of Germany (very wet up here - wouldn't recommend it!:) ) someone will be along with some more help soon I hope.

mrT I hope it's a phase. I changed three almost overflowing with poo very well filled nappies this morning so definitely not constipation. He normally has several poos a day. Usually over a short time span rather than at regular intervals throughout the day... Not that you wanted to know that :o

outnumbered that sounds like a very successful play date. Nice that you were also able to have some adult conversation :)

cheas I've been trying to think of other German words that end in -ing... Haven't had much success... Anyway, I haven't been to any groups yet :( I'd like to but the one or two I've found via google are morning ones and I often squeeze in a bit of sleep 7am -9am then DS usually feeds in the morning every two hours so if I'm showered and dressed by 1pm it is miracle a very good day.
How do people find baby groups? I'm going to ask DP to google for me. I'm too lazy tired to figure it out in German.

admylin I don't know what I'd do for information without mums net! It is really nice, even though the "due in December" thread has almost 100 posts a day I skim over it occasionally and feel reassured that people have the same problems I do.
I try and go for a walk every day for about an hour but it is so cold and windy here my legs are freezing by the time I get home. DS of course is barely aware we're outside, he falls asleep really fast in his buggy. I'm not surprised though, he must be really toasty warm and then the gentle wobbling of it sends him right off. He is usually still asleep when we get home. I leave him in the carry cot bit - after removing the extra half a dozen layers- and he carries in sleeping.

Linzer sounds like a catch 22 to work and pay for the new phone, or don't work and save enough on your health insurance that it covers the cost of a new phone

DP wasn't away the whole week -thank goodness. But from Thursday early am to Fri about 9pm. He's away again this week Wed- Thurs, again leaving early morning. But he won't be back until almost midnight on Thursday
Better go, someone is screaming my name - and the post is massive! Sorry.

nutella just some thoughts re where to find baby groups, although, yes, I would think they are all morning ones.

• evangelische Familienbildungsstätte run baby groups as well as Delphi (sp) groups

• lots of churches offer rooms for baby groups, here in Kaiserslautern I found one ( tiny compared to what I was used to in Lancaster) at the local Lutheran church. Run by one if the mums, no church connection apart from that it was using its room.
• the sports club often run both Mutter Kind Turnen ( from walking age) as well as baby groups. In Lüneburg my dad took ds2 to one if those Krabbelgruppen and they both really enjoyed it.

@ your description of your ds' digestion

Nutella google spielgruppe and krabbelgruppe and your area and you will find some - also pick up free leaflets/ local mags in banks by the cash machines, for some reason those are a good source - and hang out in playgrounds reading a book or dandling baby and ask other mums who sit by you - that's what I did at first (though I had a toddler when we first moved and she helped a lot - in fact she was very outgoing and made first contact for me a lot of the time).

Playgroups are mainly morning though, as most people who have an older one are free morning but not afternoon, so you really do have to get out there in the mornings if you don't want to end up a bit isolated - I have never got why people struggle to get out in the morning with babies, but that is because my babies have always cluster fed from about 6-11pm and woken for the day at 5am, so getting out the door for 9am has seemed pretty easy, whether with baby 1 or with a 24 month old and a baby, or later when the older 2 were at KiGa and DS2 was a new baby, when obviously I had to get the older ones to KiGa for 8.30am anyway, unless I wanted to keep them both home... I guess it shows how everyone's experience is different, I always get frustrated that so many groups seem to be 10-12am or similar, and I think does nobody else have school children who get out at 11.20am? What's wrong with everyone, why don't all the groups and classes run from 9-11am :o

In the afternoon you may find more "classes" such as music and yoga - sometimes aimed more at 3+ but generally there does seem to be more over prived/ commercially run stuff in the afternoons and more volunteer run cheap stuff in the mornings.

Sleep when you can with no.1 though as its a unique time - if you have another it won't be the same experience as the older 1 won't let you, so enjoy! But it is a trade off, sleep v socialising! Don't think it matters for baby til about 18 months but it can for mum!

The playgroup my friend and I run is in the basement of a Pfarrheim as outnumbered explains - I'm an aethiest and the other organiser sometimes goes to a Greek Orthadox church so entirely unconnected :o We go to Mutter Kind Turnen in DD's school sports hall in the afternoons, run by the same sports club through whom the older 2 do football - our sports club is called spvgg placename so you could google that with your area name or those of a few Geminde or areas near by - Turnen is usually afternoon as they do tend to use school facilities after the school day, but is not much use to you for another 9 months to a year probably.

Hello, glad that Fasching has been fun and that all playdates were successful. Glad you had fun outnumbered. So sorry about your phone Linzer. Thieving swines. Hope your new one gets delivered soon.

Bubbles I lived in Munich and I loved it, but it was 1995 and I was a student! Probably not much help for you. It's pretty scary to think that it was nearly 20 years ago! Good luck with what you decide.

My lovely friend sent the dcs some chocolate from home with some cadburys for me which was really sweet!

Hope the holidays go well for everyone. Valentine's Day is a big thing for schools here so might have to go and buy some candy for the dcs to take into school.

Have a good Tuesday!

Bubbles we live near Munich - not in the city itself, in the countryside 40km outside. It seems a good place to live with children, but very expensive... Would be wonderful if you have a good income, on a more modest income you would have to accept a relatively small flat without a lift if you wanted to be central, or live further out, as we do. I am going away for a couple of days in a couple of hours but if you write specific questions or PM me them I will answer at the end of the week.

Oh actually, having re-read your post, if you are used to central London prices Munich won't seem expensive (housing is actually similar to Surrey, where we moved from, but most people complain it is expensive - outside central Munich you get more space for your money than Surrey). I have a 21 month old but don't use childcare for him - will you be working? Childcare for the under 3s is not that common in this part of Germany, most children start Kindergarten at 3. State sponsored childcare exists but is pretty much reserved for families where both parents work, though you might be lucky if you intend to study full time. There are much more expensive private nurseries where you may get a space, but nothing is guaranteed, people in central Munich seem to constantly complain that childcare is impossible to find.

Do I make the kids pancakes for breakfast before taking them to Oma and Opa? They would like it, and it is pancake day, but I really don't feel motivated, hmmmm.

No time to post now and probably won't get the chance until much later, but just wanted to say have a lovely trip MrTumbles - enjoy your child-free time!

Nutella I thought of Riesling.