How did you make the decision to move overseas?

[suebfg]

We are finding it near impossible to make the decision either way. DH has a job offer in Dubai. Every day, I am procrastinating and swinging from yes to no and back again. I want an adventure but worry about schools, what life will really be like (DH will be travelling 4 days a week), not being able to work. I also worry about having regrets if we turn it down.

I am tying myself up in knots about it. Any thoughts?

[RichManPoorManBeggarmanThief]

Bit early to be on the sherry, isn't it Fellatio? (hope you've got an alcohol license for that)

[RichManPoorManBeggarmanThief]

Sue The other thing to be aware of re using or not using helpers, is that if your son goes to play dates, it's totally possible that the other mum won't be there and the kids will be supervised by their helper (possibly in conjunction with yours, depending on kids ages and if it's outside the home- e.g. at soft play). That is totally normal. It's actually even more common in HK where there are fewer SAHMs (less so in Singapore I believe). I'm in HK and sometimes I let my helper take my son to stuff even if I'm free just because if she doesn't, he'd miss an opportunity to hang out with his friends because a group of them have arranged to go to soft play with the helpers.

Everyone goes to these places thinking they won't get a helper, and if they do, she'll only do housework, and one day they wake up and realise that they're a SAHM with a FT nanny.

As someone said on another thread, in a way you have to "sign up or sign out"

[butterfliesinmytummy]

Totally agree with sign up or sign out, great way to put the whole expat experience.

[suebfg]

I'm not the type to miss family over here. I have spent time abroad before on my own. I'm not a big socialiser at all. I need my own space and I'd be more likely to totter around on my own, sign up to an Arabic course or something such like. But my immediate family are really important to me and I want my DS to have lots of little friends. SO I'd socialise for that purpose really with other like minded Mums - if any exist in Dubai. Not so sure from the sound of it.

[FellatioNelson]

Oh don't get bogged down in that old Jumeirah Jane stereotype about Dubai. Yes, it's a bit like the very expensive, showy bits of Cheshire or Essex in places; WAGS and trophy wives dressed up to the nines and out on the town purely to be seen with the best handbag, but honestly, they represent a very visible minority, much as they do in the UK. There are loads of extremely normal, well-balanced, non-rich, non-shallow people just getting on with their lives.

[RichManPoorManBeggarmanThief]

There are loads of extremely normal, well-balanced, non-rich, non-shallow people just getting on with their lives.

Absolutely, but most of them (especially those with more than one child) do have helpers and use them for childcare so if the OP is never going to let her child be supervised by a helper, that will limit the child's social life to an extent, in terms of play dates etc. I guess I'm just trying to explain how the typical SAHM lifestyle is different to that in the Uk where most SAHM's are with their kids 24/7 and do most of their socialising with them in tow.

I'd compare the OP's situation to moving to the Alps if you hate skiing. I just don't think Dubai is for her.