Der Nebel steigt, es fällt das Laub - a German and Austrian autumn thread

[AntiqueMuppet]

A thread for anyone living in Germany or Austria, or anyone else who fancies a chat.

Previous thread here

cheas I guess the right approach probably depends whether the child actually basically wants to learn to play the instrument but sometimes doesn't want to practice, or whether the parent wants the child to learn so they can boast about it and take the credit for setting up the child with another skill and the child, whilst theoretically seeing that it would be vaguely a good thing to be able to play an instrument of some kind, doesn't really have any true interest in or any talent for it and always resents being made to practice and sent to lessons... I can't see that it often ends well if all the interest and enthusiasm and motivation is parental!

Linzer so glad your DD was excited to get the message, I could have understood completely if she'd lost interest by now, not even sure what made my DD think of it again after 8 months, but it will be lovely if they keep writing this time! My DD was talking about it this morning and was pleased yours wrote back yesterday, and wanted to check again this morning, but I told her there wouldn't have been time to write and she should wait til after school - I was wrong there! I'm sure she'll be excited to find another message and want to write back immediately when she gets in from school in half an hour :)

DS2 slept all night last night - I woke up in my own bed to DH's alarm clock at 6am and was totally disorientated and panicked by the fact I couldn't hear any of the children! They were all still asleep! I got 2 full nights sleep when they stayed with the in-laws in the last holiday but I can't remember the last time I've woken after a full 7 hours sleep with the kids in the house - and I've long since considered the occassional 8pm-5am nights I get as luxurious full nights sleep, so waking after an unbroken night at 6am was, whilst wonderful, somewhat freaky, and I was irrationally convinced something awful had happened! Of course nothing had, and I heard Dc2 singing in his cot a few mins later (usually I wake to him howling (or yelling "Please get down Mummeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" :o ) and then DD appeared and DS1 shouted to tell me DS2 was awake "and still in his cot" :o Wonder if it'll happen again, of course I am now getting my hopes up and I know its more likely a one off!

English of course not. I had a student last year whose dad had been talked into it by the music school director telling him the oboe was very difficult . The kid did no practice for 2 months, so I gave him and dad a pep talk - the dad said his son was musically talented and therefore didn't need to practise - which at least resulted in the kid being made to practise every day for a month or two and then he gave up (he was lucky, I guess, that dad let him quit).

I just worry that some parents think they shouldn't push their child at all to do something they don't want to (with the exception of hwk, I assume) and expect that if their child has "got what it takes" that they will motivate themselves from the start. I don't mean parents should push their children to learn an instrument when the child doesn't want to, but if the child decides to start lessons, then a bit of parental pressure to establish the habit of practice and to keep going after the initial motivation wears off is probably necessary for 99% of dc.

Changing the subject, I will cross everything that last night was not a one-off and that your ds2 will start sleeping through regularly!

English DD2 has been asking from time to time when your DD was going to write again, so she definitely hadn't lost interest! She does have a few penpals she writes letters too, but missed typing to someone (I signed her up for an e-pal site I saw recommended on here, but no one ever wrote more than once so we gave up on it) so was thrilled when she saw your DD's message.

Fingers crossed for you that last night wasn't a one-off; you're definitely due a decent amount of sleep... It's amazing what a difference a good night's sleep can make and how you suddenly feel human again.

I had to collect DS from school this morning as he was complaining of tummy ache. He'd said before school that he had stomach ache but I more or less ignored him as it's his usual excuse for getting out of something (he didn't want to come with me to today's English lesson). Inevitably, he's absolutely fine and eating lunch now - but he was very pale earlier so definitely not putting it on. Looking on the bright side, I had to cancel the English lesson (I thought about offering to go in tomorrow, but wasn't sure how DS would be), can't go in next Thursday as school is closed so now have the next lesson all ready and prepared.

whoo hoo English - will keep everything crossed too that you get some repeat performances of last night. At least you know he can do it not that that helps when he's waking up the house at 5am!

linzer - tell your ds2 I have every sympathy - I want to be sent home from mum duties today because of tummy ache. I'm blaming mine solely on the lentils I put in our soup last night - I never eat any pulses normally cause they give me belly ache but I hadnt had red lentils for years so thought I'd give them a go - ouch! Bad idea . Hope mine goes as quickly as your ds2's. But glad there was a positive side and the english prep is done - thats one job less in a few weeks .

Thanks for the recorder tips cheas - have passed them onto ds1. I was in a similar situation to yours while growing up - I hated playing th violin at first, had to be nagged constantly to practice but then at some point in secondary school it became cool to be in the orchestra and I played it right up till I left school. dd has now started the violin and I'm contemplating learning it along with her again as she practices.

admylin - I'm so shocked at how badly they treat your dh at work - if the situation is that bad, is it worth him kicking up a stink especially about the work they dont credit him for? He sounds so unhappy that maybe he's better being as unhappy but getting some recognition. Is there someone higher than the professor that he could complain to? Surely she must have a boss?

admylin I agree with Ploom - I had assumed your DH's employers treated everyone badly, but the Christmas bonus thing sounds specifically targeted at your DH - obviously they get away with that one on a technicality and it would be hard to make a huge complaint about, but it is just another in what sounds like an endless line of things, with the work others are given credit for surely being the worst- is there really nothing he can do? It sounds as if it is past the point where it would be worth avoiding upsetting people/ not rocking the boat...

ploom I can handle getting up at 5am if he sleeps til then, but he generally wakes soon after I go to bed, when I can re-settle him, but then wakes again at anywhere between 1am and 3am, and is impossible to settle unless I lie with him, which is why I rarely wake in my own bed! 5am on top of a couple of wake ups and the time I sleep with him being very low quality restless sleep (he half wakes me very frequently once I'm with him but won't sleep if I try to move away from him) is the killer!

I really sympathise english - my ds2 was a really shit sleeper. Even if they only get up once or twice it still gives you really poor quality sleep and there's always that thought in the back of your head that they're going to wake up again. I have everything crossed that he does a repeat performance tonight.

ds2 has a wee friend round and they're happily playing leaving me to MN and listen to a sample of Robbie Williams new album from Youtube at the same time. Its not often I want to listen to a whole album but this sounds really good.

Ploom Hope your stomach ache is better soon - it's a shame SAHMs can't get a sick note. DS is back to normal now so I have no idea what it was, but am just relieved it wasn't a D&V bug.

English DD2 hasn't been home yet (she went to a friend's straight after school and is now at Musikkunde with DD1), but watch your inbox at around 5 pm as I'm sure she'll want to write back straight away.

DS is over at the neighbours' so, as I have no work to do and the house is relatively tidy for once, I'm going to sit down for half an hour with a cup of tea and a book.

ploom hope your stomach ache is better soon. I read somewhere that you can adjust to digesting pulses - people who become vegetarian often have problems at first but find it gets easier (need more of a particular kind of gut bacteria maybe?) I was brought up on dhal, lentil soup, lentil loaf and hummus so I've never had problems (other than mental scarring from being the only child with hummus on wholemeal bread rolls in her packed lunch when all the others had sandwich spread on white sliced ).

Definitely take up the violin again, then we can bash through some duets occasionally!

English that sounds exactly like dd in the night: if I let her sleep in my bed, I get very little sleep for the rest of the night. Fortunately she's old enough to understand that the night isn't over and lets herself be put back to bed easily enough and she sleeps through if I make a big enough deal about how it makes me happy - except yesterday evening she said "but, Mummy, I want to make you sad" (she slept through until 5.58 though, so not complaining).

Morning!
Poor dd is back to feeling really poorly this mornin think going to school yesterday was a bad idea. So I'm thinking I should take her to the GP - she's now been unwell since Monday - started off with a cold and a sore throat and she's still got the same really sore throat and she's now got a productive cough. But she's not had a fever at all the whole week so it cant be anything infectious. Would you take your dc to the GP if they had those symptoms? Typically our GP is on holiday so I'd need to go to the Vertretung Arzt which makes me nervous or to our Kinderarzt but I'm not a fan of him.
Help!??!!

Morning all,

Ploom Sorry to hear your DD's still not well. I think I'd probably take the DC to the doctor's if I was in your position - probably to the GP as you don't have to make an appointment (which always seems to be at an inconvenient time, i.e. just before lunchtime) and waiting times are generally shorter than at the paed. I suggested on FB you try out the other GP, but I've just thought that if the Vertretung is a locum, then he/she wouldn't be much use as a back-up anyway. Still, if you're not keen on the Kinderarzt it could still be worth trying out the Vertretung.

cheas Oh yes, the embarrassment of being the only child to have wholemeal bread. White bread always seemed like such a treat on the few occasions I was allowed to have it, but I much prefer wholemeal now.

DS was back to normal yesterday afternoon and went off to school quite happily this morning. I won't see him again until tomorrow morning, as he's going to a friend's after school and staying overnight there too. The girls will be sleeping there as well so DH and I have booked a table at an Indian restaurant in Vienna; fingers crossed he gets back from Germany on time.

ploom OK, have seen it's not a locum - if it was me, I'd try out the most convenient (in terms of location/opening hours) GP and have them as my back-up for the next time your normal doctor is ill. I find it impossible to see just one doctor as they're very often either closed the day you need them or on holiday. Hope you can find someone soon, anyway, and that your DD is on the mend asap.

I take the DC to either the paed or the GP depending on who's there that day. It's almost always DS who's ill/has health problems (allergies, etc.); I had the annual overview from my Krankenkasse the other day and DD1's medical expenses had come to around ?30 for the year, DD2's about ?50 and DS's to well over ?1000!

Thanks for that Linzer - the first Vertretung was quite short on the phone and said they had no appts but the second one said we could come and wait if we didnt find any other appts. I then phoned a random GP (all this phoning is very stressful!) who said the Vertretung really should see us. Just waiting till 9 to try the Kinderarzt and if he's no appts then we'll go and wait at the 2nd GP. What a palavar!

Have a fab child free evening - very jealous of that and the indian food!

going to the kinderarzt at 10am. Promised myself a few months ago I would never go to him again but needs must. Hope he isnt as annoying as he is normally.

Ploom What a nightmare. Hopefully you´ll get an appointment soon and dd we soon be on the mend. Have you recovered from eating the lentils?

Linzer We actually got a refund for dd this year as we hadn´t claimed anything, but 4 years of speech therapy for ds has run into 1000´s.

English How did ds sleep yesterday? I found it almost more frustrating when my dc occassionally slept through as it proved that they could actually do it, but chose not to most of the time.

We went to see Skyfall yesterday which I really enjoyed. I must admit I hated the old Bond films, but I´ve enjoyed the ones with Daniel Craig. Dh, on the other hand would like to see more action and isn´t interested in a plausible story or motives, so he found it a bit disappointing.

ploom hope you get in some where and don't have to wait long.

If the doctor doesn't give you anything and your dd doesn't have a temperature I'd say the best thing would be for her to stay in bed/on sofa with hot water bottles and blankets all weekend and drink alot of fluid like tea with honey, soup if hungry etc.

linzer enjoy the night out. Great that you have a good group of friends with dc for sleep overs! What time do you expect them all back tonorrow?

Just goes from worse to worse with dh at work. He came home yesterday with the tale that his boss wants to put her name infront of his on a publication even though she didn't do any of the work for it. It's a collaboration with another institute but the other place realised that the data was really difficult for them to evaluate and asked dh to do it. He had to ask his boss if that was OK, she said yes but now wants more credit even though she and her boss are on the author list. It was alot of work to evaluate and write up the results and part of the discussion for this publication.

He ended up walking out and telling her to take his name of all the 4 papers that are ready to be submitted. She rang him in his office later to say OK his name can stay in 2nd position but it always takes a bit of drama and door slamming to get anywhere.

Ploom sorry x post. What did the Kinderarzt do that was so annoying?

admylin I feel so sorry for your dh. It must be so demotivating to work there - I bet he can´t wait to find another job.

linzer I forgot to ask - what was the surprise arranged for your dh?

god she sounds like a right cow admylin but good on your dh for standing up to her. Wonder if thats how she got to the position she's in by stealing other people's work?

hupa - he was recommended to me when we first moved here by another English speaking friend but from the very first appointment I just didnt like his manner. We dont go often but whenever we do go he just has a very dismissive tone in his voice that insinuates we're wasting his time. I've been a health professional for years and sometimes patients come to you with minor problems but they are still important to them so there is a way to deal with them without being dismissive. So I can imagine how todays appt will go.

glad you enjoyed skyfall hupa - I'm not a James Bond fan cause I always think you know he's going to be ok in the end which takes away some of the suspense for me but 2 hours of looking at Daniel Craig seems like a good way to spend the evening.

admylin Glad your DH was able to stand up to his boss yesterday, but he shouldn't have to be in that position - her behaviour is just shocking. It must be very frustrating that she gets so much of the credit for not actually doing anything (and is generally so unsupportive).

I feel a bit guilty about all three DC staying over but my friend invited them and insisted it would be OK (she has three young DC of her own and is having problems with her XH atm). She's taking DS and DD2 to the KiGa Laternenfest (she insisted on taking DD2 as she said she's so good with the two younger girls) but I'm not taking DD1 over until after dinner, just before we go out. We're picking them up fairly early tomorrow as the other family has to go somewhere; I think around 8.30 am, but will have to check the time later.

hupa Yes, DS's speech therapy alone came to several hundred euros. Still waiting to find out what the surprise was, although when I spoke to DH yesterday he said they were going to have a tour of a wind farm and then have dinner in the village where the wind farm is, so I may not be too far out with my wind turbine idea!
I haven't seen any Bond films for years; I didn't mind the old ones, but the thought of having to watch one in German would put me off going to see one here!

Ploom Glad you got an appointment in the end; hope the doctor can give your DD something to help and doesn't annoy you too much. I know how you feel; I found the first dermatologist I went to see very dismissive and patronising (plus had a 1.5 hour wait), so now travel half an hour (and have to pay) to see a lovely Hautärztin instead as I swore I wasn't going back to the first one.

Also meant to say that I must stop spending time on the Christmas bargain threads - have ordered far too much from the Body Shop and have just found myself spending rather more than I wanted at the Book People.

hupa I've never seen a Bond film with Daniel Craig. The only Bond I know or have seen is Roger Moore (I'm so old) so I'd say that Daniel Craig is a better option for the eye as ploom says!
Has your ds finished with speech therapy? was it good?

ploom I know how you mean with the doctor, that's why I hardly ever go. If there is an alternative near enough can you change who you are registered with?

Yes, dh's boss has been doing this sort of thing for ages. She was really lucky when she was awarded a 100,000 grant money and that and being female got her the professorship. She only took dh to the Portugal meeting because she had entered two presentations with her name but one was dh's and when she saw the programme that she would be presenting the work at around the same time in 2 different rooms she had to take him (otherwise she'd previously said that there wasn't any money for him to go).

we have moved, well sort of.

I am hoping things will calm down soon and i have some time to catch up with the thread.

In the meantime another query: has onyone managed to take their no claims discount for car insurance with them? Any good motor insurance companies to recommend here?

I am getting a bit stressed as it seems no one is interested in my fabulous ncd built up carefully for many years... grrr

admylin I've only ever seen Roger Moore and Sean Connery as James Bond. I think I may be officially old.

Bienchen Hope the move went well and you're settling in OK. I don't have any experience of transferring no claims discounts I'm afraid, but hopefully someone else will be able to help.