Der Nebel steigt, es fällt das Laub - a German and Austrian autumn thread

[AntiqueMuppet]

A thread for anyone living in Germany or Austria, or anyone else who fancies a chat.

Previous thread here

antique I can't remember - how often do you see the PIL? I suppose they mean well but you must be very patient! Every generation has different laws about what's good for the dc to eat/drink. I sometimes wonder what our dc will be telling us our grand-dc are allowed or not allowed!

english you were so brave to go to Japan. I am such a wimp, I can't sleep for days if dh mentions he's seen a job in Japan or Norway and I usually manage to talk him out of it.

linzer sounds like your SIL flounced and your dh didn't do anything wrong. Will she come around or will he have to make the first move do you think?

cheas yes layered rice dishes are biryani style and the mixed up versions are more like pilau. If you ever get to go to an asian or indian store and you can get fresh curry leaves I can recommend them as they make a real difference to veggie dishes like dahl, veggie curries, rice etc and they freeze well. The dried curry leaves aren't half as good.

Dd happy as she got a 1 back from a test she had before half term. Ds fed up as his biology teacher was ill and he looks forward to the science lessons. He loves physics too. So unlike me, I was a language, history, art type pupil!

admylin Great news on your DD's test; what subject was it in? I'm definitely more of an arts than a science person too and gave up all the science-related subjects as soon as I could.

Antique My MIL thought my DC were all permanently hungry when they were babies too. Not that much has changed actually; it's rare that five minutes go by without her offering them something to eat. I sometimes think she's a bit food-obsessed; if she doesn't catch something that one of us says or one of the DC says something to me in English, she immediately assumes that they want food.

English Hope your DD enjoyed her recorder lesson. DD2 gave it up after a semester - and after I'd spent ?60 on two recorders for the girls (DD1 lasted a little longer). Still, it could have been worse; DD2's friend has given up the piano after her parents forked out about ?500 on one of those electric imposters pianos.

Not sure what will happen between DH and SIL tbh. Relations haven't been good since the Hausübergabe about eight years ago - it wasn't so much the fact that SIL and her family got the whole house, it was more their sense of entitlement about so many things - at least not for DH, who still feels a little bitter I think (whereas it's all done and dusted for SIL). The term PFB could have been invented for DN and - shock, horror - someone has dared to say no to her.

Recorder seems to have gone really well thanks Linzer and admylin - she came out very excited saying she can play 4 songs - turns out they all only consist of the note A :o I loathe recorders in all honesty - hate the high pitched squeek. I guess they are probably perfectly pleasant played well, but I was in no hurry for DD to take it up. School offered recorder this year though so I said she could do it, but then more children voted for a music and movement option so school ran that instead and the recorder children just finish at 11.20 and aren't allowed to change their minds and join the music and movement group! I was not terribly impressed at that, plus having said she could do recorder I felt I couldn't say no when she herself found the name and phone number of a recorder teacher her friend goes to out, assured me she could walk there from school and begged me to call and arrange for her to have lessons! I do think it'S good she's learning to read music though - would have preferred her to learn guitar or piano or anything non-squeeky, but at least recorders are cheap, as you say she might want to give up after a month or two! Luckily this teacher seems happy to work on a "pay as you go" basis too.

Well done to your DD on her 1 admylin - we're still not getting grades often, think DD has had 3 or so pieces graded, but apparently more will be after the Zwischen Zeugnes (sorry too lazy to check if I've spelt that right) and they'll get grades on their report at the end of 2nd class but not the Zwischen one. DD was really pleased with a maths test she got back today on which she got 31 out of 34, which seems a good mark to me (especially as she has previously had wobbles over maths) but I dread to think what grade it would be - probably not the 2 I think it ought to be! :)

I've always just been restless and travelled as much as I could pre-kids, its all very different with a family though isn't it admylin and cheas - when it'S just you, and especially when you are young, you can just try things out with hardly a second thought, but the more and older the children the more there is to consider. My parents always flippantly said "children are flexible" and used it as an excuse not to consider us IMO, so maybe I go a bit far the other way now I have the kids and am very reluctant to uproot them even if I'd prefer to be elsewhere sometimes.

We were meant to have an English speaking visitor today who we see at Turnen, but the little girl is apparently napping late so she cancelled at the last minute. Kids are a bit disappointed as they tidied up and put toddler toys out (the little girl is only 2.5 so I'm not totally sure why my 5 and 7 year old were so excited, my 7 year old even turned down 2 of her regular school friends who phoned inviting her over this afternoon) - mainly novelty value I guess.

Argh the 18 month old just beat the 5 year old up using toy binoculars and now I have taken them away both boys are howling - better go!

Better

I have got two dc who "play" the recorder here...the eldest is getting better. As mentioned above, not my favourite instrument but can see how great it is for them to learn the notes. Hoping to move onto something more pleasant, though more expensive, at some point soon.

witches - sorry, should have explained before...I used to post regularly, then got a job and did not post for a while. I live in austria, and have three dcs who are around the same age as Linzers....

I've not seen vegan cheese in DM, as part of their Alnatura range, but then again my DM does not have a fridge...though, would it need to be in the fridge? (I shall help myself to the least helpful post of the afternoon award, shall I? )

admylin - how were the sausages? we have had some really nasty ones, and others that are really quite nice. well done to your dd!!

Hi silken/cheas - that recipe looks good, thanks. kiga menus are baffling. We also have the one sweet meal a week, like Linzer said. They get pancakes or some cake or something sweet and that is lunch. But when I said something I got a bit of "there goes that foreigner again" look accompanied by the "we try to balance the meals over the week". Perhaps I should grow a beard before the next elternabend. DHs veganism was a gradual exclusion of things he did not want to eat for health/intolerance reasons and after reading about some animal-rearing practices.

Linzer- that sounds really hard for your DH, and completely unreasonable of your SIL. so, is she studying in V. and travelling home every weekend? does she travel back to vienna with food for the week?!? Wolf hall? i am going to keep going for now....but I don't think I shall read the sequel .

DDs about to arrive home -love it that they can walk home, so had better go. Have a nice evening all. I am going to work out how to set up mn so that I can get to this thread faster....

Just won my bet - dd fast asleep! Ds still wide awake but he's a coffee drinker so maybe that's why!

english I agree, when I was younger I couldn't wait to leave home and get out into the wide world! OK I only made it to France and then Germany! I do get fed up now that we don't know for sure if w'll be staying put but another move wouldn't bother me and I think all our moves have done the dc some good. Last couple of times we've put them in new schools they've just hit the ground running and got on with it. Dd says she'd love to move to the US or Canada and ds says he has skpe now so he can kepe in touch with who ever he wants.

linzer the test was on Die Bedürfnisse des Menschen a subject leading up to Menschenrechte. Her homewrk is to find out about Amnesty International and try to get some info about local groups. Not sure where to start with that one but she might get together with one of her friends and see if she can find something.

It does sound abit unfair the way your PIL help SIL so much. Similar things happened in dh's family. His mum is widowed and has a 10 room house with space to build on and some of her 10 dc (dh is the oldest of 10) have abit of a fight about it now and then, to build or not to build, to knock down and build all new or to let one sister move in even though she's married and the other married sister has to pay rent somewhere else. Very glad that we're far far away!

Off to do the table tennis run then quick shop as couldn't face going out in this drizzle weather this morning. Ds just said the Spain against Germany match will be held in his training hall and he can buy a ticket to watch it. Will find out later what that will cost. I said he could go if he will hold a sign up saying hi mum if the cameras are there!

Thanks, Antique, I have looked in our Alnaturas and there is no vegan cheese. Hopefully one day!

Thanks for offering to send me some from Austria, Linzer. I do order cheese online, but it does concern me a bit. Once it was waiting in the hall outside our front door, either I hadn't heard the bell or the postman didn't ring. No idea how long it had been out there, but all seemed ok!

admylin, I am glad vegan week went well and that you enjoyed it. I think we save a lot of money being vegan (apart from when we order cheese online!). That said, I do buy organic whenever I have the option, so our savings aren't quite so much, but I think it's worth it if we can manage it.

I am missing bonfires and fireworks, one of my favourite times of year. Seeing lots of photos on Fb of my friends at various firework events. I think next year I might try and nip back for it!

Plantanos if I type in www.mu then the link to this thread automatically pops into my search bar :)

Oooh poo thought DC2 was asleep and he's crying now...

Shouldn't really be on MN as I'm trying to get my translation finished, but I added Threads I'm Watching to my Favorites bar and have just added this thread now as well, so I can be on it in a click of a button... not sure whether this is a good thing or not!

and he's asleep again :)

Plantanos meant to ask how you feel about your DH becoming vegan? I must say if an adult member of my household decided to adopt a new eating regime that required a lot of change to shopping and cooking, for reasons other than allergies or genuine intolerances I wouldn't be overly impressed - unless that is the person concerned took responsibility for a significant share of the food shopping, meal planning and cooking - does your DH do that? I have a friend in the UK whose husband goes vegan one week, gluten free the next, strictly no E numbers another week - he is faddy though rather than committed, but she does all of the food shopping and most of the cooking and he expects her to unquestioningly accept and religiously adhere to each of his new sets of dietary requirements - it would drive me utterly nuts!

I used to love 5th November too witches but actually the bonfires I really loved probably don't happen any more, the really big organised ones with crowds where you can't get near the bonfire and firework displays that go on that little bit too long don't have the atmosphere, and little ones in people's gardens are too scary now with kids, so I think for me it might be nostalgia I couldn't really re-create if I took the kids back - I have thought of it but probably never will, especially with all 3...

admylin I didn't mean you didn't consider your DC in moves, I hope it didn't come over that way, clearly you do! My parents just trot out the phrase "children are flexible" to justify adults doing whatever they want (whether moving house or keeping them up 5 hours past their bedtime for a boring adult restaurant meal or family gathering away from home, and expecting no fall out in the morning etc.)

The visitor who cancelled this afternoon came over later so the children were pleased :) Nice to have finally met a "normal" Brit living out our way, as most of the very sparse number of English speakers I do meet out in the sticks where we live are either very deeply settled into almost being German themselves, or else seem to turn out to be crackpots :o (the old testament style Texan who revealed her scary child rearing philosophy involving setting aside blocks of time for "training" her children to obay commands using smacks when they disobeyed being the most recent)

:o Linzer

Evening all!

Would have loved to have some MN time this morning but dh sent me to the garage to get winter tyres for both cars - cue much driving back and forward since his hospital is 20 mins drive from the garage. But at least we're both sorted now (bet it doesnt snowtill next year after all my worrying).

cheas - I would love to meet up - honestly was only saying to dh last night that I felt like I hadnt seen you in ages. I've no great plans for the first half of November so will FB message you to make some plans .

english - glad your "normal" friend came over - it is so lovely to meet people on your own wavelength. I havent found it as easy to make local friends as I thought I would (hence my great desire to meet up with cheas again soon - need some fun normal conversation) - I just havent found anyone in my local area who I completely gel with. Its hard not to compare people with great friends that I have in the UK and sometimes find myself looking at people wondering if they look like they could be a fun friend. Think its sometimes hard as well if your a SAHM since the people you meet are through the dc and that becomes the topic of nearly every conversation. I spend so much time with my dc that I dont always want to talk about them to other people. Sorry - I'm just missing friends in the UK just now and am frustrated with some of the friends here. Have you made some plans to get together with the British woman again?

admylin - I think its always hard to move with dc but its not like you move that often. I do wonder how the dc of army parents cope - must really shape their characters. I lived in the same house from when I was born till I was 23!! I've made up for it after by living in 8 different houses/flats in the next 12 years so am happy to settle here now.

linzer - thats annoying that the weekend and your dh's birthday was a bit spoiled by his SIL flouncing. Sounds like your dh may have had good reason to be the one doing the flouncing not her!

Hi platanos! Nice to see you on here again and glad linzer confirmed my realness . Misread what you wrote before that your DM (darling mother) didnt have a fridge - doh! I know what you meant now.

Like the name change guyfawkes. I'm not a big fan of garden fireworks - far too scared that they'll go wrong but in Glasgow there was always a big firework display with amazing music and I loved going there.

Waves to everyone else - this post is getting too massive. Will have more Mn time tomorrow before I have to pick up ds2 at 11.15 so will catch up then.

Thanks, Ploom. This is a versatile name, I can change it to suit most season and reasons! :)

No, I am not a fan of garden fireworks either, much prefer the big displays. So much safer.

Morning all,

DD1 is still asleep and the other two have just left for school so I have a few minutes to catch up with the thread.

Ploom I know exactly what you mean about how difficult it can be to find friends on the same wavelength. I have the same problem here and am often complaining to DH about it; I think the fact that we?re in an area where there are virtually no British expats doesn't help. Glad you've managed to find a normal one, English! My only British friend in the town where we live has been here since I was a toddler; she's lovely (and far more patriotic than I am) but with her DC at a completely different stage from mine and completely different working hours etc. it can be hard to find time to meet up.

Guy (can't keep up with all your name changes!) I'd completely forgotten about bonfire night until I saw all the FB posts; I haven't been to one for years - a combination of having lived away from Britain for too long plus I don't think there are any organised ones where my parents live. I used to love going when I was little, though.

admylin I moved a few times when we were growing up - not international moves (unless you count England to Wales!) but was quite happy to move the second time and don't remember much about the first move. I would think twice about moving now as the DC are so settled and the younger two doing well at/enjoying school, as is DD1 now in fact, but a few years ago I used to think that DD1 would be much better off in the British education system.

platanos Yes, DN has just started university in the capital and travels back home every weekend - actually, she spends three nights in V and four at home! I wouldn't have been surprised if MIL had provided all her food for the week, but apparently she always eats in the Mensa. DH says it's SIL all over again (she spent her entire however-many-years at university living in a SWH and travelling home every weekend).

Yes, a recorder is definitely good preparation for learning another instrument and I think it helped the girls when they moved on to the piano. My mum always used to complain about the screeching of my recorder practice and vetoed the violin entirely. How annoying that the recorder children weren't allowed to swap, English - I was just about to say that it's great they're able to learn an instrument at school rather than you (well, me!) having the hassle of driving them to the Musikschule in the afternoons on the other side of town, but obviously it's only great if the lessons actually come about...

Think I can hear DD1 moving about downstairs, so must go.

guyfawkes have just realised, even though I tell my dc every year that it's bonfire night and why it's on they still don't have a clue about it! Maybe because it's just a few minutes of mum going on about something once a year. The one I remember from my childhood isn't even allowed anymore (health and safety). It was on the shore of a lake on a field that usually had sheep in.

ploom sorry you're feeling abit fed up, sounds like you need a trip back to see all your old friends. Thank goodness for skype though.

english I didn't think you meant I didn't consider my DC in moves, it didn't come over that way at all! I was just saying how my dc and I had experienced the moves in a positive way even though we'd be happy to settle too.

platanos great that you've organised music lessons for the dc. Ds started to learn the trumpet and was getting quite good but we moved so he gave up. Dd tried recorder too but didn't like the sound of it herself so she stopped!

When my 2 dc were at school in the UK for a few months between one of our moves the primary school offered free music lessons and each dc could borrow an instrument free of charge (dd had a violin and she loved it). I wonder if that's UK wide as it's great to give dc a chance to try an instrument like that even if the families can't afford private lessons. Here in Germany it's an expensive hobby for dc.

Well, motivation still going here, both dc up before me again today!

Morning!

admylin - we had to pay for dd's music lessons in the UK - wasnt a lot though compared to the music school here. She's just started learning the violin again this school year at the Ganztagschule and we dont have to pay anything more for that (we pay 80? a month for the care in the Mittagpause, lunches and activities anyway). We were watching David Garret on Wetten Dass at the weekend and I was trying to tell her that she could be that good if she stuck at it . I'm also not a fan of the recorder - squeeeeeeaaaaakkkk - so can see why your dd dropped it. Ds1's whole class learn it every day at school so I dont need to hear it. How do they stop the squeak tho? Everytime he wants to show me what he's learned it still squeaks sometimes?

linzer - so glad your dd1 is more settled now - do you think its the change of schools thats helped? Glad its not just me with the finding friends problem - I've never had it in my life before because I always worked and most of the friends came thro work and somehow when you're content and have friends then it seems easier to make new friends - does that make sense? Part of me really thinks I should get a job but we dont have any grandparents about so what would I do in the school holidays? Could I really find a job that was only in the mornings since thats what all mothers want? I think I'm just a bit bored with life and need to find some way to make it more interesting. Its not like me to be fed up - need to give myself a good talking to!

So I managed one child free morning yesterday and now dd is at home poorly - she's loaded with the cold and can only whisper her throat is that sore. She's still in bed tho (hence the MN time) - will make her some soup later and get her some lozenges and see if they help. We managed to joke yesterday that she's obviously ill because she went out trick or treating without all her clothes on at once .

wolves - I've bought pickled onions here no problem - they're not as big as the ones in the UK but they taste the same. Might have to buy some today now you've mentioned them!

sorry typed wrong Mn name - welovecouscous

Welovecouscous never seen English style pickled onions here. I think her best bet will be either to get a recipe and make her own (although even the right kind of malt vinager might be hard to find) or she could try foodfromhome.de/ based in Germany who charge 5? to deliver.

ploom hope your dd feels better soon. Sounds like a good deal for the music and afternoon stuff at school.
Where did you get your pickled onions? Up to now I've only found those little white silverskin ones. I just fancy a strong spicey pickle now!

Does your aupair like branston too weovecouscous? I really miss branston.

I don't know much about pickled onions, sorry :o One of the English things I'm not bothered about so haven't searched for, though you sometimes get them in the jar with gherkins and I think I have seen something that looks like pickled onions on the same shelf as gherkins on the same shelf in the big supermarket... probably not quite the same thing! I found ready made prawn crackers and a peanut cooking sauce that looks like sate in the small foreign food range in Edika this morning and am quite excited about making chicken sate this evening for dinner (though I'm sure I could make it from scratch if I put in the effort, found a recipe, crushed the peanuts it gave me the idea). I miss tea, but order it in bulk from Mr Singh in Nurnburg :o otherwise most things I can't find here have got used to doing without I think - sometimes I order cadburys chocolate from the UK as nothing else is quite the same :) I remember buying cadburys in Asia though and being bitterly disappointed as it was totally different; they change the recipe for local tastes etc.

DD's recorder lessons are not at a music school, there is just a nice older lady in the next village along from the one where school is, who has a stream of Gründschule girls (mostly) through her house for ?5 a lesson. DD found the lessons herself, as several of her friends go, and came home with the lady's name and phone number for me after the school ones were cancelled, and had already arranged with her friend who already has lessons that they'd walk there together and DD would have a lesson after her friend, so I just had to follow DD's lead really. I am so unbothered about her having recorder lessons I'm not sure I'd have driven her to a music lesson, as she already does an art class once a week and football training twice a week, she didn't really need another activity!

Sorry you're feeling down Ploom, I get like that too, I sometimes wish I could move back to the UK but in all honesty doubt I could just slot back in now, after over 5 years here. I know I'd compare some UK things negatively against here if I did go back - one big thing is that children DD's age might have been in school 4 years to her 2, but they are such babies in general, most of them seem to really lack in the self sufficiency that I love in DD (and her friends), on all sorts of levels - not just that they can get themselves from A to B and play out without being hovered over, but also things like being better at minor conflict resolution with peers etc. I also find from reading other parts of MN that UK parents seem to expect a lot of the parenting done for them by school, which would also irritate me, and I'd probably put people's backs up in the UK comparing, or else (more sensibly) bite my tongue a lot!

Off out now - DD is supposed to be at school til 1.20 today (her longest day) but lessons 5 and 6 have been cancelled so she's finishing at 11.20, AND the buses have been cancelled, I haven't quite grasped why - this doesn't seem to happen as often here as it does to Linzer but its not due to staff sickness - I think the teacher is doing something else for a special event the school has planned - now can you imagine school just cancelling half the day because a teacher has preparation to do, in the UK! :)

DS3 is drawing me a picture and keeps showing me and bringing it and explaining (in his own way) what he's drawn (though I think he's telling me it's a foot and a shoe...) - he's growing up so fast!

DC3 = DS2, I am always writing slightly the wrong abbreviation!

English If we moved back to the UK, I'm sure I would compare almost everything negatively to our life here - the only "advantage" is that I think I'd be more likely to find new friends on my wavelength (and be closer geographically to older friends). We're so settled here otherwise, though; I think it would be madness to move back on the off-chance that I'd find friends more easily in the UK! And I do know plenty of nice people... just no one I see regularly who's on the same wavelength as me.

Btw in my last post it was almost DS who was at university; did I ever tell you I have a child genius?

Ploom Yes, I think the change of school has done DD1 good; she always used to struggle at primary school but now is one of the best in her new class (although DH still does a lot of work with her), which is great for her confidence.

I find myself meeting fewer and fewer people now that the DC are getting older, and that doesn't really help either (not that I'm desperate to meet people as, like I said, I have plenty of friends who I get on well with, just no one where we live who's really on the same wavelength as me). Working from home obviously isn't ideal either but at the same time I love my work, can't imagine doing anything else and wouldn't want to work for someone else any more. Like you said, it's so difficult when you don't have grandparents on hand to find work that fits round school hours. Sorry, I'm not being much help I know - but I do empathise and wish you were a bit closer so you could come over for a cup of tea!

Hello, good morning! It seems like ages since I've posted. I've been busy but popping on and catching up when possible...

Ploom sorry you're feeling down. Totally agree with everyone about finding it difficult to make friends. I have some great friends that I met via my German classes and that is nice because we can speak in English or German (depending on wider company) and we know what we mean and don't notice mistakes :o but I don't know any other natives here at the moment. I miss the little cultural references and then it's always nice to call my Mum or my little bro.
I find it hard to get along with some of DP's friends... particularly those that have always stayed in Hannover, somehow not ever moving to another town makes people's views a little narrower.... but then DP also finds it hard and I know that surprised and disappointed him when we moved back here.

Best example is DP's only friend who has a baby... well 15month old. I've sort of upset them because apparently I wasn't friendly last time they came round (think it was about July; it was when they were wheeling their pram all over our flat... which just seemed totally unnecessary and a little rude!). I know that it bothers DP that we don't get on; but I find it very confusing because some weeks he will dodge this friends calls because he finds talking to him so hard anyway...

I better go, will pop back later. Going to meet a very good friend for coffee before I return home to take on some more of the Ikea fun :o

Hi everyone. At last I´ve found timeto post.

I agree with everyone who is saying it´s hard to make really good friends. I have made friends, indeed I was at breakfast with 3 of them today, but it feels kind of superficial and I know that if I was to move away (very unlikely) I wouldn´t remain in contact for very long. Ploom, I agree that it is really depressing when every conversation revolves around children or school.

I don´t envy those of you with children learning recorder. Ds had the chance to learn this year, but as he is already learning piano he didn´t want to - cue a huge sigh of relief from me.

Like English I think I would miss the freedom that children here have if I were to move back to England. Mind you, dd had a Schulunfall today while I was at this breakfast and the school didn´t let me know. They just sent dd and a friend of to the doctor (admittedly dh) to get the wound seen to. Can you imagine a school in England sending children of to the doctors with no adult supervision?

I hope those dc who are ill are all the road to recovery.