How often to you go 'home'?

[ivesufferedenoughfools]

Hi - have been in the US for 10 weeks now and starting to plan trips back to the UK. We are here indefinitely as DH's job is permanent.

So - just wondered what others do re visits back to the UK (or elsewhere) seeing grandparents, Xmas etc. And how do you balance trips home to see relatives/friends with trips in the country you're in now - don't want to spend the next few years using every holiday to trek around every UK-based relative and not having a real holiday ourselves.

If it makes any difference, our parents are retired so have trips planned (ILs have already been but that's another thread...) and siblings also have plans to come and visit over the next twelve months.

At the moment I think we'll have a couple of trips to the UK each year but with a large, scattered family I don't know how relaxing the trips will be!

Thanks for any insight and ideas!

We have lived in Cyprus for 12 years. Our visits adjust as time passes.

Initially our children (21 and 22) flew to us twice each summer (May/September). We paid entirely, then just one way, until they were able to afford the return fares. Now they come perhaps once or twice a year.

For Christmas and New Year we return to the UK to visit friends and family. The visits to friends vary as some come to stay with us yearly or every few years. The visits to family always take place, even though they are at different ends of England. We love the cheaper booked train journey.Twice, close family flew out to us for Christmas.

Now a grandchild is on the scene, things will change again. Either we/Grandma will fly over every three months or the grandchild's family will come to us.

Things might change again. Flexibility helps. We opt for the cheapest flights.

Skype is great!

We've lived overseas for just over 11 years now, in a variety of countries.

We go back to the UK every two years for the summer (between 4 and 6 weeks). It's not at all relaxing as our families are spread around the country so we end up trailing round and living out of suitcases. It's not at all ideal but it's only every 2 years. We tend to get fairly regular visitors here.

This is a bit of a sidetrack, but does anyone else hate it when people in the UK (in my case especially my parents) refer to coming "home" and have to bite your tongue in half to point out that where you live permanently, with your husband and children, is home, not the specific part of the UK where you grew up, but haven't spent more than a week at a time in for the last 20 years? I never refer to the UK as "home", though I live in Germany and will never feel German my life is very much here, and it is also unnatural to me to think of a place my children don't live and have only been to as holiday makers/ visitors as "home"...

have to bite your tongue in half not to point out ...

I think expats who move about a lot are more likely to refer to the Uk as "home" than people who left the UK for another country but expect to stay there permanently (i.e. immigrants). Certainly here people say "Are you going home for the summer?" but I guess it's shorthand for "are you going back to your home country".

That said, I do say "I'm going home" when I mean I'm going back to Hong Kong, and when I'm going to the UK I also say "I'm going home" so I'm obviously quite confused

We're next back in the UK next summer, which will be 20 months since I last went. Usually go in the summer but didnt this year as I had a baby at the start of August. My parents come out here quite a lot though and my sister also lives here.

Been in Australia for just over 3 years now and been back to the UK 4 times, each time for 3w, just me and DS (DH hates flying).

First time was around 6m and was partly due to my incompetence in sorting all my paperwork ; then another 7m after that; then 9m later, then 10m. This time it will be nearer 11m before we go again because I'm due to have DC #2 in a couple of weeks, and going this side of Christmas would be too expensive now and I don't want to fly with such a young baby, so will wait until probably Easter (as DS starts school next year) and go then.

We stay with my Dad, which helps, and have mostly travelled around to see people but last time, being a few weeks pg, I was too tired to do so much travelling so people had to come to us instead - same will apply next time, as it will be hard going travelling all over and having a new(ish) baby as well.

None of my family are able to visit me here - health and/or cost reasons - so it's the only way (apart from Skype) that we get to see them. :(

We usually go once a year, me for 3 weeks and dh for 2 weeks. It's not a holiday though, living out of a suitcase and staying in about 7 different beds most times!

I refer to home as both tbh

But back to home country ( ie England) and home where I currently live (Dubai )

Yes I do too, Labootin. Home is both places - where I lived for 40 years and my blood relatives and friends are, and now where my own little family is (and new friends).

thumb Omigosh I didn't know you were expect DC2!!!! Congratulations!

When we lived long haul we went once a year and both sets of parents came out when DS was born. My parents then came the following year.

Now we live much closer so it's long-weekendable and we'll go more often.

Thanks Frak! :)

I disagree with not calling the Uk home. My df is Hungarian, came to the Uk in 1956. He still calls Hungary home, or haza in his case. He hasn't been home for 10 years, and he now classes himself an Englishman lol, in his words. But still refers to it as home, even though he's been in the UK 52 years

Btw, Many Congrats Thumbwitch

Thanks Longdistance! :)

When we lived in the US I came back twice a year. My mother came to visit us twice a year in between, so once DS1 was born he never went more than 3 months without seeing my mother. My sister came over once a year and my dad managed about once every two years

As for travel within the US we did whatever we could, whenever we could. Before DS1 arrived that involved several ski trips every winter (mostly long weekends), city break weekends, a trip out west in the summer, and VT for a weekend in Oct. We were lucky - we could afford it and we love to travel

Oh and when you come back to visit, decide how much socialising you're prepared to do in advance. EVERYONE will want to see you and expect you to flog up and down the country visiting them. In a word, don't! We used to spend a weekend in London catching up with friends (choose a pub and tell everyone where/when and let them come to you), and anyone special you can set aside additional time for. Similarly with relatives - base yourselves in one place and let them come to you, if possible. Otherwise you'll spend the entire time running from one date to another and you'll have a crap and utterly exhausting time. People you really can't be bothered to see, either don't tell them you're coming or make it clear that you're only making a flying visit and sorry, you don't have time to see everyone.

I visit as often as is sanely possible. I live in Stockholm, Sweden and I came from Finnish Lapland, so it's probably slightly different. I love coming in Winter- you can see the Northern Lights, and wolves, and because it's mostly Sami around me (I'm half Sami myself), and because they herd reindeer, there's a lot of reindeer. I come at Easter, in the winter and I come at the end of summer. They find it harder to come to Stockholm though

When I lived in London though, I came once a year at Christmas, normally once every two years. London to Finnish Lapland is really expensive, and most flights are package ones, having tours or holidays instead of just ordinary flights to airports.

We fly twice to the UK and twice to Denmark plus my father lives an hour away for 3 months of the year and my PIL visit for 3 weeks, twice a year. We use points to fly that DH earns from flying on a very regular basis. We are also frugal with the points. DD should really be in her own seat as she is the size of a 2 year old. We have planned our next trip for June as DD and DC#2 will both be under 2 so we will only have to buy two seats.