Die Kaffeestube Teil 2 - virtual Kaffeeklatsch in Germany and Austria

[cheaspicks]

Chat for those living in a German-speaking country, or anyone else who is interested.

[worldcitizen]

Cakebump are you close to Köln?

[worldcitizen]

Hallo vivienne, wir können uns auch gerne auf Deutsch unterhalten.

[wantingmore]

No not me world. I have only just joined the thread yesterday.

[worldcitizen]

wanting I see, I am rubbish at this knowing how to keep up with my fellow poster. I also just joined this thread, and joined MN recently.

So, I need to come up with a system to remember who is who, so I don't embarrass myself here.

But I remember you said that your are due this December, right?!

I wanted to recommend you an organisation who specialise in bi-national marriages, partnerships and families. They are awesome.
I think, they would be a very good place to call. they are all over Germany.

I'll look them up right now and then post the link of their website.

[worldcitizen]

Verband binationaler Familien und Partnerschaften

I work with them a lot, and I can say that they are excellent and very competent, as they are specialised in this area. Hope this is helpful to anyone here.
//www.verband-binationaler.de

Cakebump I am not sure how your German skills are?!

[NoHunIntended]

I don't remember everything about everyone on this thread, it moves so fast and sometimes I only have time to scan the thread, let alone keep a spreadsheet! Maybe everyone could remind us of the basics: location, how many DC and ages/flavours, a couple of random facts!? :) And RN initials if willing, to help identify who is who on Fb!
I am friends with a few here on Fb, which helps me remember who is who, so if any of the new people want to add me on there, feel free to send me a PM here with a link to your Fb profile.

[Viviennemary]

Guten Tag worldcitizen. Ich habe alles vergessen. It was a long long time ago!!

[LinzerTorte]

Just marking my place for now as we'll be arriving at my ILs' in abo

[LinzerTorte]

Oops, posted too soon ... in about 10 minutes. We've just arrived back in Austria after a fab six days in Germany. It was lovely to meet Ploom and cheaspicks (hope I've remembered your new name right; if I scroll back up, I'll probably post again by mistake); I just wish we'd had a bit longer to chat, but we had to rush off up to Hannover before it got too late. We really appreciated Ploom's lovely Kaffee und Kuchen and the DC all got on really well too.

Will be back again soon to catch up properly; in the meantime, waves to everyone and welcome to all the newcomers.

[Ploom]

Was a fab afternoon linzer and silken. Was so nice that the kids all got on well together.

nohun - I dont really want to post so many identifiable details in one post - sorry. I name changed recently to muddy the waters so think i'd have to namechange again if I gave out all that info (and I'm rubbish at picking new names!). So in being vague, I live in Germany & have school age dc.

I'm overall happy with our experience of the school system here so far worldcitizen. i agree there isnt much provision for native English speakers but there wouldnt be provision for German speakers in the UK system so I dont expect it for my dc here. I feel its my responsibility, not the schools, to develop their English.

But i've only experience up to the 5th class so far so maybe I'll change my mind about the school system in the future..

[Ploom]

Waves to everyone else!

[Ploom]

But my dc arent foreign as their father is German so they got no assistance to integrate here. The kiga told me there would have been lots of assistance locally if none of us were German. I cant comment on how foreign dc are helped to settle in UK schools since there were none during our time in the UK.

[Ploom]

All schools are different - there really is no interest at all in any of my dc and their English skills. Not even sure all ds1's friends know that he speaks English at home since all my dc speak good German with a local accent.

[TheEnglishWomanInTheAttic]

I name change every 6 months or so because I give out too many details :o I think MN isn't the kind of niche forum where "roll calls" are a good idea - there are too many people reading.

Ploom I'm with you on the German school system and the fact nobody would expect specific provision for different languages is the British system - I was part of the "team" who tried to help a 15 year old Thai girl with no English at all to settle into a very white middle class comp in the UK, and though everyone meant well, the help she received was very limited really - nobody got any extra off timetable hours, she wasn't entitled to any 1:1 learning support assistant time, and the idea of actually finding a bi-lingual Thai-English speaking adult to come into the school at all, ever, to help her was met with laughter and muttering about budget. She did settle and make friends and left school speaking reasonable English, but even though she was made an exceptional case and put back to year 9 when she should have entered year 10 and been launched into GCSE courses, she didn't get any A-C GCSEs when she finished school 2 and a half years later... That school also had a brother sister pair who joined year 7 and 9, and had been educated in Germany but came originally from an Arabic country - they did very well BUT they were very bright, and both spoke 3 languages (including English) fluently - their written English just needed work (I remember they both capitalised all their nouns, but over all wrote at an average standard for their year group even though they were using their 3rd language, even when they joined the school :o ) Their sucess was not down to the school, it was down to them and their family.

The other school I taught at had a better programme in place as they had more immigrants and refugees and there was a proper ESAL programme with a (part time) staffed post attached, but still the non English speakers often floundered in bottom sets among native speakers who occasionally were simply low ability and more often had all sorts of emotional and behavioural difficulties and SEN if they lacked motivated parents.

What I am trying to say is state school systems are set up to cater for the majority, and everything else tends to be a slightly unsatisfactory add on. Most of us have chosen to live here, rather than being forced to due to being refugees or whatever, so I do think it is our responsibility really. A different story for the children with dyslexia etc. whose families have obviously not chosen that for them, and who do seem to be failed by the system from what I have read here. One of DD's friends is at a 'Logo schule' ? A speach and language school - he has a stammer, but no way he'd be at a special school in the UK! Still his mum seems OK with it - they have only 12 children and 2 teachers and an assistant per class, and follow the normal system, so actually it sounds a bit like a private prep school! Depends whether there is real stigma or not though of course :(

[BertieBotts]

Hello everyone again. I popped in briefly a couple of months ago as my DP had just moved to Karlsruhe. I then dropped off the thread because I was finding it very hard him being out there and having really mixed feelings about it. However I am going out to visit him in a week (!!) and am feeling much more positive about it at least at the moment.

Where is the German School thread? I'd be interested to read (Is it going to scare me to death??) I have a DS who is nearly 4 so he would be in kiga if/when we move.

Quite excited to go out and see the place finally! As an aside I'm having some worries about catching the train from Stuttgart if anybody can help at all, the thread is here:
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/shorthaul/1546629-Does-anyone-know-about-trains-in-Germany-Stuttgart

[TheEnglishWomanInTheAttic]

Worldcitizen all my kids friends know that my kids speak English at home, but although some parents initially try to befriend us in the hope their kids will magically pick up English I am very much of the opinion my kids choose their friends, not me or anyone else. We have a constant stream of kids through the house, but that's because we live in a village and my eldest at any rate spends an equal amount of time at friends houses. I speak English to my kids absolutely always, unless I am really speaking for their friends' benefit (for example telling them to be quiet because the toddler is sleeping, or that there will not be any food except apples available for the rest of the afternoon) My kids speak German all the time to their friends - in fact DS1 denied recently that other children speak English :o but I am absolutely rigid on them speaking correct English to me, and if they ask for anything in German or (in Ds1's case occasionally) any kind of DEnglish they just get a pointed look til they ask again in correct English :o For this reason their closest friends do understand quite a bit of English, and will moan and groan in Bayrish or German if I say in English no TV/ no chocolate/ time for your friends to go home now :o

What I do dislike about the school system is the amount of homework - dd has only just finished 1st class - and sometimes the lack of proper communication (but I think that is a moan in the UK too).

[worldcitizen]

bertie admylin has shared the link on page 2

[AntiqueMuppet]

Evening all.

I'm about half way through the school thread and it really is depressing reading! Why on earth did I think I needed to read it and scare myself when DS is only just about to turn one?!

Big hello to all the newcomers, the more the merrier!

admylin How were the flapjacks? Is your shoulder any better?

wantingmore Sorry to hear about your school problems. I hope they are resolved soon.

NoHun How is the new flat? Are you feeling quite settled now in FF?

Linzer Hello! Glad you had a nice holiday!

Ploom It's nice to hear positive experiences of the school system here. I think we'll be in a similar situation to you with DS not being foreign with DH being German. Glad you had a nice time with cheaspicks & Linzer.

EnglishWoman I always forget that anyone could be reading this! I'm not sure how, considering the number of threads I lurk on. I try to be strict about only speaking English to DS but sometimes slip into German if I'm speaking German to PIL, for example. I sometimes feel a bit rude if I know whoever we're with doesn't speak English but then I think, well I'M talking to DS, not them, so it shouldn't be a problem.

Had yet another embarrassing incident involving the postman this week (after the frozen peas sticking out of my cleavage incident and the baby poo on my cheek incident). I was changing DS' nappy and he had just weed all over me, so I had to change my shorts. Of course as soon as I'd taken my shorts and DS' nappy off, the postman rang the doorbell. I pressed the buzzer to let him in (we live in a block of flats) and opened the front door of the flat so I could hear whether the buzzer had worked as it's a bit temperamental, figuring I'd just have enough time to throw a clean pair of shorts on before he made it up the stairs, all while trying to stop crawling DS from escaping down the stairs. I managed it, shorts done up, all baby wee gone, DS removed from the stairwell & plonked behind me in the flat, and then as I was chatting away to the postman, DS appeared, crawled through my legs completely naked, dragging one of my bras along with him, stopping only to give the postman his biggest smile! Said postman just mumbled something I didn't quite get and hurried off down the stairs
If this carries on we're going to have to move!

[CakeBump]

world I'm around 40 mins from Köln, and my German is good but not technical standard, iyswim.

Poor you Antique! Although I admit it did make me laugh too :)

On the subject of speaking English/German to your children, can I ask a question?

I will be speaking English to our baby, but DH wants to speak English to her too (although he's German his English is fluent but learned as an adult). His reasoning is that she will have so much German language input outside the home that he should help me push English inside the home. As far as I've heard, each parent should speak their mother tongue to the child, so me English and DH German.

Does anyone have any helpful advice about this? Just to clarify, DH and I speak English to each other when we're alone but when we're chatting to other German people we speak German (as we're talking to each other but also the gorup iyswim)

Thanks all...

[worldcitizen]

cake they have an office in Köln. They do phone consultations and are really helpful with the insurance and and employment policies OR they know ho to direct you, too.

[NoHunIntended]

Fair enough re non sharing of personal info, though I am not sure what anyone is going to do with the information that I live in Frankfurt and have a toddler son.

AM, I am sure your postman enjoys his visits to you!

We have settled in well here, the new flat is fine. A good location. We have all that we need, though I'd quite like a fireplace surround! Have seen some on eBay.de but wondering if anyone knew anywhere else for me to look? I don't actually have a chimney, but I'd like a fireplace to hang the Christmas stockings! So I don't really need a working fireplace, just the surround. A bit like this Kaminumrandung, maybe not so big, and cheaper. And maybe in white! :) Four months til Christmas! :) DH wants to make one, but I think I should be able to find something inexpensive. Any ideas? It is hard Googling when I don't speak the language.