3 Year Syndrome

[DSH]

Hi All
So I've been in Australia for 3 years (this September) and finding myself in a real funk (feeling quite depressed). My life seems to be fine - great job, great friends, kids are settled and now I think I'm wondering "is this it" and not really feeling great about it. At the moment all I can see is the negative stuff which I know isn't the real case - there's a lot of really fabulous things about living here.

So I do what I always do in times of trouble and starting to google. Apparently, there is something called a "3 Year Expat Syndrome" where expats are settled and have made friends and are now 'bored' and wondering if this has been the right decision in life.

Anyone got any thoughts on this? Did it happen to you? Is there light at the end of the tunnel?

For me it was about 5 years. We moved back to UK for a year then back to California. Now we are waiting to move back to UK only it's been 19 year this time. Wish we'd done it sooner to tell the truth, but we wanted Ds to finish school first.

Maybe it's just a permanent state for some people regardless of how long or where. Though, surely with time one just starts feeling more part of the local furniture and therefore feeling more comfortable?

Yes, this has happened to me throughout my life - DH and I have moved on roughly every three years - after several moves around UK and Europe we moved to Australia, which I did on the condition that it was for at least five years with a view to being here for good. Three and a half years later he got a job back in the UK and we move back at the end of the year. We'll have been here for nearly four and a half years, which is the longest I have ever lived anywhere!
I have also read that it is a kind of syndrome for some people and I've always wondered whether not owning our own house has had something to do with it - renting makes it fairly easy to move on. Also my parents moved around a lot when I was a child and I wonder if this has rubbed off on me.

My theory is that after a few years you do start to see the negatives in a place and it doesn't seem so great after all. I certainly feel this way about Australia - while I do love living here, love the relaxed lifestyle, weather, schools etc, I find it prohibitively expensive, I hate the way that the media spruiks about everything and I find where I live really quite dull - we can't afford to live close to the city centre so while it's safe and green etc, there are very few restaurants, shops aren't great etc, not a lot going on. I also miss my friends and family more than I could have imagined.

I think if you're the kind of person that gets used to moving around, it does become hard to settle. No real answer I'm afraid although when we move back to the UK we are buying a house and I'm hoping not being able to move easily is going to help me settle. Can you take a trip back to your home country at all? This might help you to reconnect with the positive aspects of Australia again. Best of luck anyway.

thanks. I think if i realise that it's just a slump I will get through it (whilst heavily supporting the local wine industry) and kind of ride out the next few months/years and hope that eventually I'll stop seeing the negatives and just live here without thinking about whether I'm in Australia or not - if that makes sense. Going home for a visit in the near future isn't viable and going home permanently even less so.