How has living abroad changed you?

[ClaudiaSchiffer]

Since being in Aus for 6 years, I now . . .

1. Prefer showers to baths - haven't had a bath for years. Used to love lounging about in the bath reading.

1. Vegemite over Marmite

1. No longer terrified that the children and I will instantly expire the minute the mercury climbs over 24 degrees.

1. No longer think 24 degrees is perfect for the beach. Minimum 30 these days

1. Really loved the outback and thought it was beautiful not just "stinking hot and full of rocks and flies"

How about you?

Been out of the uk for six years now, and in essence, I don't think I've changed a great deal. My personality was pretty much set as an 'older' first time expat.

However, I am far less (understatement!) independent now as I have to rely on dh for everything. I have no rights at all. This irks me more as the years go by.

I think my dd has had a fantastic childhood so far, though. And I dread having to move back to the uk just as she hits her teens. Judging by her preteen attitude I think we will be in for a rough and scary ride. Hopefully her upbringing so far will help, not hinder.

Sharklet, totally agree about "water". Have learnt to say wah-derrr, rather than the British wortt-er.

Also if you say "Please may I have..." to a waitress, she won't understand you, you need to say "Can I get..."

I have been living in France for 7 years now, and I have changed a lot!

Friendlier (or desperate to make new friends) and more open
Far more confident and assertive
Healthier diet, with far less snacking on rubbish-it was so easy in the UK to nip to the shop/24 hour supermarket and buy loads of instant stodgy crap (miss Yumyums from M&S food though)
I have perfected the 'gallic shrug' and use it a lot at work.

I do miss the UK though and love coming back for short visits

sagenod - I LOATHE the galllic shrug and the kind of pouty face that goes with it! I see it here all the time (Quebec), by the French folk who had emigrated here from France and just want to shake them and say "For God's sake, man/woman - express an opinion, be it in the positive or negative, but don't just 'Meh' me in your French fashion"
It's one thing the Quebecois don't seem to have adopted, so that's a mercy!

And breathe.

Ooh, I hear what you say, sharklet and howdoo, about accent slippage. Mine has changed over 7 years, I speak almost fluent American to cab drivers and randoms, but I think it resets fairly well at home (DH also British - although his accent has moved a lot more than mine!).

I work with other Expats (busy uni department, people from all over) which possibly helps me remember that it's ok to sound British. DH works in a middle school and had to change his accent very quickly so that the children would understand him.

I imagine that one's experience is very different, depending on whether your Other Half is a native to where you live, or the same nationality as you. Things are foreign to DH and I in the same way, which is oddly reassuring .When I get homesick for something or want to rant about something he's right there with me, understanding. I know I miss the UK more than him (much closer to my family) and am probably keener to move back than he is, but considering he moved her for my work, I'm delighted he's loving it!

Another thing I hadn't written down is that I am much more political than I was before. Not in a new way - I've always been a fairly coherent-in-my-mind lefty feminist - but since living somewhere that skews much much more right wing in the general social discourse, I have had to become more articulate about what i believe and why. It's been very good for me!

ahhh - the accent thing!
I find when I'm talking to other mums at playgroup that my accent does drop into the local vernacular quite readily, and I have picked up a fair few colloquialisms from this area (Notably, saying "Far out!" when something is shocking/annoying/amazing - it's a sort of cross between FFS and wow, but not in a good way) - but I still try to retain my UK accent as much as possible so that DS hears it. He, however, has developed a slightly American accent because of all the Pixar films he watches - but I draw the line at "wadder" instead of water. When he starts school, however, it'll be a lost cause and he'll be a full-on Aussie before I can turn around.
I don't think that's going to really help my integration processes. :(

My voice apparently. My friend told me the other day that my voice had changed :) I asked her how and she didn't know though, so maybe I don't sound totally American. The Americans still think I sound English though.

Attitudes to weather. I live in San Diego in near perfect weather (IMO) and am now very intolerant to cold/rain/snow/grot.

Flipflops are appropriate year round shoes in most settings for me. You have your basic flip flops, your dressy ones, sporty ones etc. Flip flops are appropriate school footwear for one of my kids and allowed by his school.

Come back NHS and bupa, all is forgiven. I miss you, you were the perfect system. Thank you DH's old work for paying for Bupa, it was lovelier than I realised once it was gone. Can no longer just go to hospital when something goes wrong, I now adopt a wait and see because I know it is going to really hurt paying for it.

Driving 5 hours round trip for a day trip and being ok with it.

oh and phone numbers are now never treble this and double that. Completely confuses americans.

LOL at the treble and double.... my surname has double letters in it and no-one can understand me if I spell it out to them that way.

Accent wise DD although half american has resolutely refused to sound American. There are a few RAF families around and that helps, although ironically she sounds more English than most of them. DH who is American lived in Europe for so long people assume he is English even though he is serving US Military. Some even think he is in RAF. Makes him laugh. He is definately not you average American and probably more desperate to get back to Blighty than me (I just want out of Vegas)

Thumb - like you I have picked up the local vernacular, but it is like speaking French to french people. I speak it as another language so people can understand me. Soon as I am back amongst family or other English am back to talking properly!

My lack of integration is really due to the fact we are here short term, and I have to admite the states was never even on my list of countries I wanted to visit. Finding my self living here is really quite a shock. I did have to bite my lip when well meaning Americans would frequently say to me things like "You must be so relived to finally be here" and when I asked what they meant they'd say something along the lines of now my life's ambition to live in and become an American was almost complete... I'd have to explain I love my country and have no intention of giving it up. Very incredulous responses from them of oh but you will become a citizen.. and you mean you WANT to go back some day.. etc. I still fairly frequently get this even now.

Lived in various places over 5 years, now back in the UK. I am

1. More confident. I used to worry about stuff like complaining in shops. When you've had to do in a foreign language, doing it in your own language is a hell of a lot less nerve-racking.

1. Don't care about any celebrity gossip/who's in the charts. Just lost track when I was abroad and never got it back.

1. More accepting of different types of people. Realised there wasn't one particular way you SHOULD be.

shark yes - we're non-immigrants (skilled workers) and I don't particularly plan on applying for a green card. Explaining that to people without them taking personal offence at how much you don't love America enough is apparently quite tricky!

Ha - I get a bit of that in Australia as well - especially when they show programmes about "whinging Poms" going back to the UK having tried to "live the dream" here and discovering that it ain't all that sometimes. "Ping pong poms", is the correct term, I believe.
I will stay because of DH and DS - but I think if I had an open choice (and scameron's shower o' shite weren't in power) I'd go back. And I will take citizenship here because it's a) safer for me, b) means I don't have to apply for Leave to Return when I go back to the UK and c) I don't have to give up my British citizenship. If I had to, then sod it, I wouldn't do it.
But yes - there is a similar level of incredulity that I'm not completely on-my-knees-thankful to be here!

Sharklet Americans were astonished when I left the US in 1995 that I would want to leave the US. Not all of them obviously, but some were really very amazed. Remember, they were told since first grade it's the best country on Earth, and most will never be able to afford to travel to test the theory....

Been in Sydney five years now.

• I can revert back to being friendly to random strangers which is totally common where I grew up (Ireland) but tends to freak English people out.
• I have realised that having enough space is the secret to a happy family life, especially when you have thee kids with big age gaps. Staying with friends back in Brighton last year was like being in toytown.
• Other people's children are quite pleasant when you can chuck them all in the pool and just supervise from a distance (for that reason we entertain a lot less in Winter).
• The chances of actually being bitten by a poisonous spider don't justify lying awake at night worrying about it - I now go barefoot in the garden.
• the schooling system here suits my kids better.

Downside is not really understanding how everything works, driving across the Harbour Bridge is way scarier than the M25 (though with much better views), and the very high cost of living here. I don't even want to think about my next electricity bill where they have allowed another 18% price hike.

don't just 'Meh' me in your French fashion" Proper LOL there.

I've been overseas for 4 years- 1 year in Dubai, 3 in Hong Kong. We're expats rather than immigrants as we do intend to return to the mothership at some point, although might possibly get PR here, which would be a huge bonus for the DC. I'm not sure how much of the change I can attribute to being overseas, how much to becoming a parent but

• definitely much friendlier and more outgoing with randoms, especially since I had DS- kids are such an icebreaker (except when yours is biting theirs)
• Unlike Bertrude I'd say I'm now less materialistic- when every other fucker has a Ferrari/ Masserati/ Ducati there's no point in trying to compete with a mere Porsche so may as well stick with the 7 yr old Golf.
• Given up caring about interiors, despite longing for own house in London which I could renovate to my own spec (think this might be more to do with toddler/ adopted cat combo than actually being overseas, although the humidity ruins everything anyway as does storage/ strong sunlight/ removals so we are now committed to Ikea chic).
• Totally changed jobs - used to work in the City- now work for a Charitable foundation.
• DS (nearly 2) can correctly identify a panda, a monkey and an elephant from first hand encounters, but has never seen a real life sheep

Oh yeah, and I am now totally fine with the fact that I have to pay the equivalent of £1.50 for a Muller Fruit corner

Oh, the accent and dialect thing...

I now have cuds when I used to have children
Eat variously chups in place of crisps or fush 'n hot chups to differentiate
Lollies don't have sticks unless they say so
My pigs and pegs, and pins and pens are inexplicably interchangeable

Repeat after me... I am not a whinging pom, I am an English Rose sir, and don't you forget it!

I've been in the UK for 12+ years now, originally from NYC. Since then I've ...

Learned to make tea like a pro

Learned to be resourceful with no family around to help

Figured out how to make good cornbread from scratch and discovered, if you search hard enough, you can find grits and smoked turkey wings in London.

Become a staunch supporter of the NHS

Learned to appreciate a clear, sunny day

Learned to smile and say 'I'm only here on vacation' when salespeople stop me along the road to sign me up for Sky or whatever while I am trying to rush to the shops and mind my business!! Oops, I still rant.

Discovered that I now I feel annoyed if it takes over 60 mins to get someplace

Come to the realisation that even I want a Brit to win the Men's Wimbledon Final

Stay silent when co-workers can't make it into work because 2cm of snowfall

Learned to rest soundly knowing that no matter what happened down the road last night, I am still safer in London.

Learned suppress that empty feeling I get when I miss my family back home.

This has been an interesting thread for me to read as we are off to the Middle East in 40 days time. DH is contracted for 3 years and then we will see where we go from there, back home, stay or some where else in the world.

Been in Sweden for 2 years

-I have learnt how to ski, its great fun and alot easier than it looks!

-I know now how to walk on snow/ice, coming from the sounth west of the UK i had never seen "proper" snow.

-I am more rude, don't say sorry if someone else bumps into me!

-I drink less (even a glass of wine on a week night is disaproved of)

-I drink more coffee

-I expect a proper summer.

-I realise that what really matters in the uk is my family and friends and marmite.

Reinforced some (lefty) political beliefs and demolished others.

Became very self sufficient and confident dealing with my children, making decisions about their lives and pushing them in school. Nice to have the freedom to do things my way that came with being different.

Became very gung ho about long road trips with carfulls of children. Spending 12 hours driving doesn't faze me now.

Also gung ho about driving in snow.

Hot weather and the possibility of getting a tan lost their appeal.

Rain and clouds and constant greenness became very attractive.

Snow lost some but not all of its magic.

Lost track of celeb gossip and didn't care.

Got good at explaining to people why I stuck with my green card and never applied for US citizenship, and amusing myself by answering questions about when my entire extended family would be emigrating in my footsteps with a blank look and the question, 'But why would they want to do that?'.

Learned to say 'Aitch'.

at "learned to say Aitch" - I'm fighting to keep my aitch, in Australia haitch is the norm!

I know exactly what you mean about rain, clouds and constant greenness as well but actually this last year hasn't been too bad for that - only had a few hot days in the summer and lots of rain.

From DD1 who lived in NL for 5 years (comparing herself to contemporaries):

• More open to new ideas and opinions
• Not racist at all
• Open to immigration

Basically not a little Englander

Lived in France for 14ish years.

• I eat a wider variety of food (though that could just be growing up)
• Having an outside viewpoint has helped me better understand British politics an made me supercritical of the UK
• I expect four proper seasons every year. This year is the first to disappoint (yes, the weather is shite over here too)
• Wouldn't say I am happy about driving in snow and on ice, but I just have to get on with it, and roll my eyes at the annual press reports about chaos in the UK
• I expect trains and buses to run on time
• I expect to have to pay a decent price for quality food, and am appalled at the practices of supermarkets in the UK
• I have gone from seeking out other anglophones to pretty much avoiding them because I got bored of all the frog bashing

Abroad in the UK for 11 years now:

1. Do much of my shopping online and expect it to arrive by post in less than a week
2. Sometimes even go out when it rains- otherwise I'd be housebound for weeks on end
3. Discuss politics much less because otherwise someone will comment I do not have the vote.
4. Stopped watching TV due to the dearth of current affairs/ political debates
5. I now own and use a tumble-drier, but only if I cannot hang the washing outside (English MIL finds this very eccentric)
6. Appreciate my country and it's ways a lot more.
7. Discovered how much I hate standardised shopping, shop assistants that change all the time etc and wait for a trip to my home country to go clothes and shoe shopping and to see the hairdresser.
8. I now own two fleeces, but still cannot bring myself to wear them other than for sport.
9. Am evangelic about the importance of having a properly fitted bra

10. Am considered a domestic goddess (v nice) while at home I would be very average. 11. Have to consider private schooling for DCs and forget about my political convictions in this area. 12. Never quite feel I fit in, unless I am with a bunch of other continental Europeans living in London (and even then...).