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Living overseas

Whether you're considering emigrating or an expat abroad, you'll find likeminds on this forum.

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Original poster

Do trips home make it all harder?

10 replies

Justfindingmyfeet · 05/07/2012 00:07

Advice needed please. We are currently on our 2nd overseas assignment and I am contemplating a trip home on my own. It has been 2 years since I was in the UK and I would love to go back to see friends and feel my roots. I am struggling with where we live and miss home and where we were previously, a lot.

I haven't been home since we moved abroad and whilst I would love to go back I am worried it is going to make the homesickness worse when I return here. Has anyone had experience of this? Thanks

OP posts:

NotMoreFootball · 05/07/2012 04:27

I'm on my 3rd overseas assignment with no idea when we might move back to the UK so I know a little how you feel. I hated our 1st posting and went home by myself to see my family, after a couple of weeks there I couldn't bring myself to return overseas and actually ended up staying in the UK while my husband spent another year finishing the assignment by himself.
I've been a lot happier and settled on our last couple of assignments so I feel like trips home are just a holiday to catch up with everyone. I know it might not be what you want to hear but be careful if you go by yourself as it was too difficult for me to leave again. Is it possible for some friends or family to come and visit you instead?

ClaudiaSchiffer · 05/07/2012 05:38

The thing I found when I went back for the first time (after 2 years away) was that yes when I got back I was horribly homesick but the difference was that I knew I'd feel better eventually.

It's rather like having a second baby, with the first you have no idea if the crying will stop, but with the second, you KNOW that everything will be ok eventually. IFSWIM.

I presume that if you have been away for 2 years you have made some friends where you are, if you go back to the UK, then can your new pals be around on your own to take care of you a bit and show you a good time on your return?

It is probably going to be difficult when you come back. It is horrible saying goodbye to everyone again, it makes me weep just to think about it to be honest, but that can't be a reason not to visit surely. Just make sure you have some pals/husband on hand on your return to take you out and make you glad to be back.

ClaudiaSchiffer · 05/07/2012 05:40

Also, I was so scared of not returning (like NotMoreFootball) I made my dh come and get me. Or I don't think I would have got on the plane from Heathrow.

echt · 05/07/2012 11:43

For me, no.

It all became clear when, on holiday in the UK, DH and I said to each other that it would be nice when we got home.

Home meant Australia.:)

RichManPoorManBeggarmanThief · 05/07/2012 13:57

When I was in Dubai, yes, because I kept shuttling back and forth and so I never really committed to the idea of actually living in Dubai/ making it work.

From HK, no- it's lovely to see everyone in the UK, but like echt, when I say "I'm going home on Friday" I mean I'm going back to Hong Kong.

Hopandaskip · 05/07/2012 16:50

No, not really. The first year we went back in Nov. The days were short, the weather was horrid and it was so dark and cold and we were jet lagged. We were happy to get back to nice weather. We've been here so long that this is home. It is bizarre to me to have people say "are you going home this summer?"

Original poster

Justfindingmyfeet · 06/07/2012 00:09

Thank you for your experiences! It sounds like it might be a good thing to do..... in a while. We are in relatively early days in this second assignment so I think I probably is too soon at the moment, not yet got friends I could lean on when I get back. Think I need to try and establish myself a bit more here first, oh well. Things will get better......

OP posts:

Windandsand · 09/07/2012 07:45

It's important to keep in touch with your family and friends in the uk too. ESP if they can't afford to travel or you live somewhere inhospitable. I leave every summer and it's 2 months til I have to back and Ii have been in tears at leaving uk. I only arrived a few days ago and have yet to see all friends and family. People abroad who I have made friends with leave themselves and most friendships are loose as people always might be leaving.

juneau · 09/07/2012 07:53

I think it's important to keep your ties with the UK strong. You may feel more homesick in the short term when you get back (or not - seeing everyone might be enough to make you feel a bit better), but you can't put a price on spending time - actual face time - with people you love, surely? This is particularly important if you plan on returning here eventually as it's really hard to pick up where you left off with people who you literally haven't seen for years. Much better to have seen them every now and again while you were away.

admylin · 09/07/2012 08:52

I used to be very homesick and frustrated after a visit to the UK, it was mostly the good things like having family around to leave the dc for a few hours, knowing my way around and the good shopping compared to not having any relatives near us, not knowing my way around and rubbish shops where we live that got me.

I think you can expect it to make you feel more homesick if you are struggling with where you live as it is. I don't think 2 years is enough for you to feel at home anyway. It took me many more years to stop comparing everything over here with 'back home' and winding myself up to homesickness!

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