Dropped DP at the airport this morning

[BertieBotts]

He's off to do the hard first part of moving out to Germany, on his own. He will have been met at the airport by someone from his new job, but no idea whether he is now at work (after being up since 2am and only 3 hours' broken sleep before then!) or in the company accommodation asleep or without internet connection!

Only an hour until 5pm German time though, I suppose, in which case (if he's at work now) I'm hoping for some kind of contact. I feel all funny, don't know what to do with myself! I just want to hear from him, and DS wants to see him or speak to him tonight too.

Argh! I'm so jittery! Have barely slept for the past few days, either. Has anyone else been through this/wants to talk to me for a bit?

Are you going to move out to Germany later?

Yes, not for a few months though.

How exciting! Have you found a school for your DS? A house?

No, nothing! DP has temporary accommodation with his job. I've just spoken to him and apparently he's sharing with six other people (slight here as I've never done the house share thing, although I'm sure it can be a nightmare.) DS is only 3 at the moment so no rush to get him a school place, we think we'll get kindergarten sorted once me and him are out there.

After a couple of months in the shared accommodation DP is looking to get a small one or two bed flat on a six month lease, me and DS will go out when that's almost up and we'll look for something 2-3 bed all together.

None of us currently speak German although I've just been put in touch with a German speaking mum locally who knows of a german-speaking toddler group which we're hopefully going to start going to. And DP says that he is already picking stuff up and he can figure a lot of things out as the words are similar to English in a lot of cases.

Gosh! Lots ahead of you then. Is it a nice part of Germany? Will there be other English speaking mothers for you to hang out with (and to give you lots of tips on what to do)?

Ooh, daunting and exciting. I've just come out the other end, so to speak. The DDs and I have finally moved out to be with DH after 3 months. How are you feeling?

I'm feeling okay at the moment, excited for him and kind of glad I don't have to go through everything first - although I love the idea of jumping in at the deep end, with a toddler I am not actually sure it would be so fun in reality! So he's gone to figure everything out first I don't know about the area (although it looks nice in pictures, and apparently it's hot...) or about other English speaking mums but I'm going to seek out the local La Leche League group (being a hippy kind of mother will definitely pay off here, I hope) and apparently a lot of people speak English anyway. I do want to learn German too, though.

Robino what's it like finally being there? Are you in Germany too or somewhere else? I'm a bit worried that I'll feel all stupid not knowing stuff when I get there and he has 6 months' experience.

It's hot! We're in Doha, Qatar. It's only 48°C today..

It's lovely all being together again (we've not lived in the same house all week for 2.5 years) but is taking a bit of getting used to. There's a massive International community here so meeting people isn't proving too much of a problem. although I haven't got enough of a network to keep us busy all the time yet so there's a lot of time just me and the DDs together - they don't have school places yet and it could be some time before they do.

If your DP is anything like DH you'll end up knowing more about the place than him fairly quickly! DH spent most of his time working so can't answer most of my questions. It's up to the DDs and I to explore and find things out, unfortunately at the moment we're generally limited to indoor exploring!

Will you be working? I think I might find out more about the place just through being a SAHM and having the luxury of pottering a bit (although that can be a bit tricky with 5, 3 and 1 yr olds in tow). la Leche League sounds like a good plan, I'm planning on invading a home schooling group! Learning German also sounds like a good plan. Will you get a tutor? I have plans to learn Arabic but can't find a class apart from one that is 6 hours a week.

We did that 5 years ago, although DH only moved out 2 weeks before me, I stayed to finish things connected with selling the house, packing, and winding up my childminding business. DH and his dad came back with a lorry and put the boxes I'd packed and the furniture in and then drove back. We had a house the in-laws had found us and DH is German (we live an hour from the in-laws) though so that is the very different part. I didn't speak much German though for various reasons.

Most German cities seem to have an English speaking network with toddlers groups/ international women's group.

www.toytown.de is bitchy (beware of posting questions that have been posted before as people think it is cleaver to post things like "the search engine is your friend" ) but can be useful and may have a specific forum for family life in the city your are moving to.

I had a toddler and was 6 month pregnant when we moved. Make sure you have good transport links and you'll be fine.

It can be hard to get Kindergarten places in some cities so may be worth looking into a bit before your go. We are out in the sticks and had no problems, but have heard very different stories in Munich. Have you thought about German v bilingiual for Kiga? Is it a long term move!

Good luck!

Ooh, I'm not sure. Haven't thought much about kiga yet. DP and I are in agreement that we want him to go to a German speaking school, though, so perhaps a German-speaking kiga would be best too. Once he's settled in a bit I'll get him to ask around about waiting lists etc. There's someone at his new job who is apparently very enthusiastic about helping him find info on schools etc. She's had to take him out shopping for towels today because apparently no German shops have them!

We're not really 100% sure where we're going with it ie if it's a permanent move or just for a few years, but I want to throw ourselves in as though it's forever, I think it will be more of an experience that way. I have had a look on toytown but there didn't seem much there - perhaps I will post now DP is actually out there.

I'd like to work as I think I'd go mad being at home (I did here) - but apparently it might not be easy to find childcare. I think it's something I'll have to sort out when we get there really. Since DP will be around in the evenings and at weekends (he worked nights before) I might find it easier, and there will be lots of exploring etc to do. DP says that a monthly pass on the tram costs only ?35.

Childcare availability seems to depend massively on where you are - in some parts of the country it is as common for both parents to work as in the Uk so there is widely available childcare (though there might be competition/ waiting lists etc). Out here in the Bavarian countryside where we live it is pretty unusual not to have one parent at home, and those who do work often have relatives next door/ living in the same "2 family house" who do the childcare, so there ar very few childcare places for under 3s, the majority of children aged 3+ go to Kindergarten, but it is most common to go mornings only, and it closes altogether at 4pm even for those who book whole day places (afternoon places are also only available to about 1/3 of the children). If you were OK about saying which city or state you were moving to maybe somebody could tell you about the childcare situation? What kind of work would you be looking for?

Oh, sorry - I thought I'd already said. It's Karlsruhe which is in Baden-Wuttermburg (did I spell that right?)

I think I'll have to look around when I'm there really but at the moment I'm just in retail. Just something to get me out of the house and a break from DS, however perhaps I'll be alright with him at kiga in the mornings. I think it's really a wait and see thing, but long term I can't see myself wanting to SAH.