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Moving every couple of years with children?

27 replies

HumpheadWrasse · 02/06/2012 20:56

DH has reached the stage where he will have much greater career opportunities with his company if he is 'fully flexible' which in essence means being willing to accept new placements every couple of years over different countries. First move would be a couple of years away yet but his company's been asking if he'd consider it and he's been asking me. My initial gut reaction was let's do it, but we have two DC (aged 3 and 2) and I worry it wouldn't be fair on them dragging them round between different countries.

Does anyone have any experience of moving around like this, either with their DC or as a child themselves, who can offer me any advice/opinions? Thank you!

OP posts:
ErnesttheBavarian · 07/06/2012 08:28

My dc started to talk oddly - not the accent at first but v. Odd intonation followed by accent. They talk 'normally' now out of IS environment, but they don't talk like me Hmm

We return to the UK quite a lot with the kids ( most school holidays) and have english tv because it was important for us they didn't sound foreign, so they watch bbc and hear current language, so they keep up, and also culturally. Eg de and i will occasionally ask eg did you watch xxx (eg doctor who) when you were a kid. Oh yes, i used to hide behind the settee etc. i want our kids to also have a cultural connection to uk.

another thing i picked up on in our year in IS, while many families are 'normal', there through work and fees paid by company, many many families are wealthy to fabulously wealthy ( kids with body guards wealthy), and most kids were flying off every holiday to HK, Mauritius etc and ours were getting the dover- calais ferry.

They were exposed to a very privileged environment and we had to work hard to keep their feet on the ground and avoid becoming materialistic or comparing.

I think the cases where it works, is when they do keep moving every couple of years, so it's normal, and stay in the international bubble..

The people who say so many moves made them outgoing and find it easy to mingle and settle in etc ; we found that with ds1, but it badly affected ds2 and 3, and both are now very reserved and find settling into new situations extremely difficult. they really really need to stability and continuity. I think it would have really damaged them to keep moving. I think it suits some people but some personality types can't handle this change easily, so it's worth keeping an eye on this.

Thatisnotitatall · 07/06/2012 08:40

I second the cbeebies/ cbbc/ English TV for keeping the kids English "real" :o as in normal and up to date! Also of course visiting the UK annually if you can... My DC do watch Cbeebies/ cbbc and so although they speak like me over all there are expressions in there which I don't use and which come from children's bbc, which in the context of being abroad and not mixing much with ex-pats I think is a good thing. They go to local school and Kindergarten here in Germany and are the only native English speakers in either place, and for a good few miles around generally.

We just got back from the first UK visit in 2 years for various reasons - my sister says my kids sound "a bit posh" (but then all the kids in her area speak in a broad accent) and my eldest, who is 6, spent quite a bit of time with her 7 year old cousin and is now pronouncing various things to be "well awesome" instead of "really cool" as she did before the trip, so I guess she has had her current kid language update :o I must say I am very glad indeed they don't sound American, especially as we live in Germany not America, tbh I would hate that, though I guess it would be considered more cool than a bbc based British accent if they ever had to re-integrate into British schools!

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