Jeddah, Saudi Arabia.. would you move there?

[Windandsand]

Hi , my dh has been offered a job in Jeddah. We have 2 kids under 5, one at school and the other I do not want to send to full time nursery -just school when at reception age is our plan.. What's it like living there? If you have left, would you go back or do you wish you hadn't gone? Or do you like it?
My dh package includes schools, health, flights, villa in compound etc etc, but I am very worried about loss of freedom and being stuck whilst he is at work all day and evening - he is a total workaholic and leaves at 9 returns about 10 at night.
I don't like the idea of maids looking after my kids and we have tried maids and cleaners for housework but they never work out for various reasons.

We have spent time in Dubai and Bahrain, Dubai being better all round by far- Bahrain we found really hard, especially with the troubles, we had to leave. I wouldn't live or visit there again.

any advice very welcome!:)

Gawd no.
Sorry, but I value my freedom to go out & about too much, including exploring different places. I guess it'd be fine if you wanted a very sheltered life style & mostly just stayed home.

Probably be fine if I was a man, could explore all kinds of places without a relative as chaperone. But not as a woman, no.

ragged, do you or have you lived there? it really worries me about freedom to just get in the car and go- plus I have just read that the air pollution there is really bad, fires and factory burning.

No, sorry not lived there, just find it fascinating so pay attention to what I learn of others' experiences. I can see how it can work alright for natives, but harder for immigrants (of any religion).

I work for an airline and have the 'opportunity' to travel to Saudi Arabia, and I have managed to avoid the place so far. I don't know anyone who has anything good to say about it. It seems to be especially demeaning and restrictive to women - no driving, needing a male 'guardian' to accompany you, covering your face whenever out of the house, etc.

I think you would have to enjoy sitting at home a lot to live there. The salary would have to be ludicrously high, imo, to warrant living there.

Hi, I've lived there (a while ago now) and wouldn't recommend it tbh.

Unless the salary is humongous it's not worth it. The expat community used to have a lot of freedom but it has changed.

Nope. Never.

I grew up in the Middle East, lived in Dhahran as a child for 5 years.

Whilst we had a ball as children (sun, sea, sand and swimming), and I appreciate it was a very long time ago and things might be different now, I would never want to live there again. Women are totally subjugated and second class citizens. Schooling was poor and apart from a pretty wild expat lifestyle (for a dry country I have never seen so much booze) my mum was bored out of her skull. She couldn't drive, couldn't work, couldn't even go out and do the shopping without a male escort that had to be a husband or blood relative. Given that Dad worked long hours it meant she didn't get out much.

If you live on a huge compound with good facilities it might be bearable but the salary would have to be obscenely huge to justify living there.

It's nothing like Dubai.

My parents lived near Dhahran too when I was a teenager; I was at boarding school so only had the holidays out there which were loads of fun (this was in the late 80s). However, it was very difficult for my mother when we weren't there during term time - couldn't work, couldn't drive, couldn't do anything normal.

I had a friend whose father worked in the diplomatic service and he was forever having to extricate people from police cells/prison for fabricated misdemeanours.

Intolerance is a way of life - religious, sexual and racial.

Greetings from Jeddah
I have been living in Jeddah for 8 months, with husband and baby. Somedays I love it some days I hate it...but overall its a good place. I live in a very large compound(university, schools,Health centre, A+E,shops, recreation etc.) We dont have to cover up here, and women can drive in the compound. I go to the city occasionally, and have to wear an abaya, but not scarf.
Its true lots have help, but lots dont.
Saudi is very child friendly.The compond is very friendly and full of kids, so lots of baby groups. Lots of people sy you should aim to get out every few months...most go to Dubai!
The decision to move here was made as we wanted to save and go back home in a few years, and that is possible here.

Hi Windandsand, hope all ok with you? A long time since we've 'spoken'.

As others have said, you cannot drive in KSA. It is not true however that you need a male companian when you go out. My friends and I often had drivers to take us out and about and once dropped off we were pretty much free to go where we wanted.

Jeddah is far more relaxed than Riyadh. In Riyadh it was abayas at all times and you had to have a headscarf. Most of us carried them with us and quickly put them on if the mutawah (religious police) were around. Personally I've not been to Jeddah but many friends have and they all say it is much less strict than Riyadh.

I agree with what Geeza says, it is good to 'escape' on a regular basis. We often used to drive over the causeway to Bahrain for a long weekend but sadly that stopped being an option for us last year. I'm sure you can have a quick escape from Jeddah if you need to.

Compound life can be funny, you either love it or hate it or sometimes a bit of both. If I was going out to KSA again I'd want to live in a compound with young kids. There is the sense of freedom there which is priceless.

Good luck x

Gawd, no, not for any salary package. And I'm from a Muslim country.

you would not have to have maids looking after your dc and if you did not want to have a maid or cleaner, you would not have to, even if most people around you do. It is entirely up to you.

Since you say your dh is a total workaholic and you will be alone all day with the smallest two dc, doing the housework and living a very restricted life, I really don't think it sounds like a recipe for success. It would be better if the dc were taken care of in the mornings and you were doing some kind of distance learning or whatever is interesting for you and possible there. However I understand that you do not want to have other childcare arrangements

I wouldn't feel safe living there

thanks ladies.. esp mosagain, really, you should write a book..:) I hope everything is going well for you btw x

looks like dh has had a rethink based on chats with other expats out there plus some saudis he is friendly with -who were the first to say "no!"

am very thankful. our marriage is under extreme pressure as it is (really want to leave the ME) without moving there. think it would be the straw that breaks the camels back tbh.. at one point i thought if he did accept then at least I could go back to Europe and let him get on with it.

Lived there for 3 months as a single person... Wouldn't dream of taking my family there to live. No freedom whatsoever... Unhealthy life for kids IMO

Was going to post and say, yes I would, for what I call a "retirement package"- e.g. suck it up for 5 years but never have to work again. DH and I discussed and agreed that we would on this basis when we were in Dubai and there were some exceptionally generous "hardship" packages on offer in banking / asset management in Saudi, albeit these are prob not on offer anymore. However, having seen your last post, if the marriage is under pressure then no. I think it would be the final straw, as you say.