Moving to America; should we do it?

[slatternlymother]

I posted originally in chat, and got directed here. Basically, DH has been offered the chance of a job in Virginia. It's good money; really good, so I wouldn't have to work. We have a DS who is 2 this year and have completed our family.

What are the complexities? We rent here,but have good savings and no debt. What would our options be with regards to housing? Would we ever be able to get a mortgage, or because we would be foreign, would they not lend to us? I think we'll probably do a buy to let on a 3 bed semi here, so if it all goes tits up then we'd have somewhere to bolt to.

I got a lot of negative responses with regards to women's rights and healthcare, primarily. What are the issues here? Is it really that awful?

Any help or insights would be really, really appreciated!

I am in the north west, so vastly different to Virginia! The health care is hard - if you get medical situations arising, they can literally bankrupt you. This is one of the main reasons I don't want to live here permanently.

Check into the area you'd be moving to. What will you do if you don't work? It can be VERY lonely if you don't know anyone and don't work. There may be clubs etc you and DS can join, but it will take a really long time to break in as an outsider - probably at least 2-3 years before you start making real friends.

That's not to say you won't like it - there are many great things out here. But definitely do your research. Any chance of a holiday in Virginia before you go?

Where in Virginia? My sister in law lives just outside Washington DC. The accommodation is terribly expensive but she has a great group of friends, all feisty expat women with babies and toddlers. ( She does have American friends too.)

Hi Slatternly
We're moving to Virginia in August, for my husband's job. He'll be working in DC, but the house with the job is in Virginia. Mclean/ falls church kind of area. Where are you going?

Hi there!

It looks like either Richmond or Norfolk. We have visited Norfolk as part of a work trip twice in the last 5 years; once for a month and once more for about 2 weeks.

mocking I think I'd be looking at some form of voluntary work as DH's salary would more than cover us. I have been looking for a chance to get into nursing, and hoping to volunteer in a hospice for years. My hope would be to volunteer, and if DH decides the citizenship is for him (the job is a 3 year contract with a $150,000 bonus if he goes permanent with them after that; they'd sponsor him) then I'd get a Visa to study, looking for paid work when DS was more independent.

Yes yea yes
Lived in Maryland some time ago but loved it.
Is medical included in his work package??

Yes xmyboys well, the workplace makes a contribution to it so you can afford a better package I guess.

You'd have to check which visa you will get as some visas don't allow spouses to do any voluntary work either. Kickassangel on the Living in America thread would be able to tell you more about that. Mine was an L2 which allowed me to get a work permit too.

I am also in the Northwest, in Oregon, which is beautiful. Whereabouts are you mockingjay?

Sounds like you're pretty seriously considering this slatternly. It's great that you've visited on holiday!

The only piece of advice I really have is to arrive expecting a culture shock. I didn't really expect the US to be all that different in language/culture. It is though, and would've been easier - fewer misunderstandings etc - if I'd known in advance.

The locals WILL consider you to be totally foreign. At work, we had a man visit from Iceland for a few weeks, and it transpired that my American colleagues thought I had more in common with him than with them - their world is split into 'American' and 'other'. I've also been complimented on how well I speak English more than once On the plus side, everyone is very friendly and welcoming (except the immigration officials!!).

Tadjennyp I'm in Washington. I always fancied visiting Crater Lake in Oregon. It looks so cool from the aeroplane!

Crater Lake is indeed gorgeous, but best on a cloudless sunny day!

I assume your DH will be offered health insurance with his job. Double check this as you must have coverage. The health insurance will cover his immediate family (ie him, you and your son). Ask what the cost is as most companies require the employee pay towards it. Also ask what the co-pays are for the plan options (most have a low and high plan). How it works here with health insurance is that one spouse can have coverage for their family. We use DH's plan because it is fully paid for by his employer and all co-pays are covered. This is very rare. Other things your DH should ask about are vacation days and dental insurance. 10 days is standard, 21 unusual and 25+ is almost unheard of, apart from DH who refuses to lower his vacation as he spends most of the difference visiting or hosting family. Dental work is very expensive and dental insurance is worthwhile. I would also get their visa plans for your family in writing. It is not cheap to get a visa and sponsorship for a greencard isn't easy to find.

It is great that you want to get into nursing but be aware that college is not cheap here. Best way to do it is to get as many credits as you can at a community college. I switched to accounting and to get my CPA I was initally told I needed a masters in accounting. Wasn't true and I saved myself $30K by going to community college to get the credits. Nurses here earn between $80-$120K in NJ.

I would def rent for at least the first year. School districts here in NJ are set in stone and you move to the area with the best schools for your child and most states are this way. The property taxes in these areas are also higher. Buying a home isn't a problem at all. I wouldn't buy until you know you are staying for at least 5 years and have greencards in place. We needed 3 years of tax returns so they could check our income for our mortgage company but the bank said they were happy to see returns from europe along with DH's employment contract if we didn't have 3 years of US returns.

Also, don't listen to people from the UK who bang on about the 'awful' healthcare and womens rights. The US is a different country and the culture here is very different to the UK. While we look pretty similar the cultural difference are quite large. A lot of people in the UK talk about the US based on some biased TV program that they watched or an article that they read. Living here you see that women have as many rights as the US and I would argue that you see more women here in positions of influence (as business owners, senior management in companies and in politics) compared to the UK.

We are about to move to Richmond so any questions feel free to ask! We are renting for the initial 1-2 years and keeping our house in the UK as back up.

I will be a SAHM aswell for the 1at time but I have found excellent site completelykidsrichmond.com which gives you an idea of things available and there is a section on meet ups.

Also if you want to check out www.richmondmommies.com - a local forum with a section on Relocation which has been a god send to me getting my head around the different areas/schools.

Is your DHs employer giving you relocation money? It is not cheap and having no credit history you have to pay larger security deposits for everything

Have a look at Trulia and Hotpads for an idea of rental properties. We have been using Remax who have been fantastic answering my insane questions.

The good thing about both Richmond and Norfolk is that they are set up for relocating families.