Die Kaffeestube - German and Austrian cyber Kaffee und Kuchen

[admylin]

Kaffeeklatsch for anyone in a German speaking country or interested in German, Kommt herein und setz euch!

Hi thanks for all the welcomes. TheEnglishWoman yes the nurse at the Dr's bombarded us with tests and extras. OH wanted the extra scans (I thought it was a bit pricey and being a fully paid up member of the NHS hadn't really thought about it being a possibility) but the Dr is lovely and I really like her.
We have to go for an extra scan this week though to rule out a possible illness that all sounds very serious but DP and I are pretty chilled about it, I'm not sure if we're going through denial but well, it beats worrying like a loon... I hope.

Silken is it your SIL and BIL with the mega PFB? I thought that was hilarious! Since baby is due in December I can live with putting cute knitted hats on it. DP's parents are old (69 & 70) so I'm really looking forward to their parenting tips
This is the first grandchild, two older brothers (10 and 12 years older than DP) and one female cousin have been unable to or chosen not to produce children so generally as you can imagine; I'm sure things are going to be really relaxed.

Nutella I had my DS here too (9 months ago) and got a few extras from my Dr for free, so I think it really depends who you are with. Having not had children in the UK I'm not in a position to make a comparison but I felt very well looked after during my pregnancy.

The others are right, you will be told off by random old women on the street for not putting socks or gloves on your baby, or my personal favourite, having the baby lying down in the pram when he would clearly prefer to be sitting as babies don't enjoy lying in prams, at naptime, of all times
I've gone into a sort of zen state about it now and sometimes unzip his jacket as an act of provocation
(If it helps my PILs are around the same age as yours and have actually been quite helpful!)

Lol Gator I used to do the unzipping of jackets as an act of provocation thing too!!
I've just sent those DVDs off to you so look out for them in the next 2 or 3 days.

Silken yes you're right someone who could write a really good letter to the landlady would maybe help. I think I could get help from the Mieterschutzverband as Linzer said but there is also a Mieterverein and another 2 Mieter places. Not sure but I they say on their websites that the will help with pre- existing cases (unlike Rechtschutz) as long as the case doesn't have to go to court. Worth a try?

Linzer did you get your bike back?

Nutella are your PIL also in Hannover?

Morning admylin the PIL are near Hannover, in a small village near Bad Nenndorf so about 40 minutes drive away.
Gator this is my first so I've no other experience to go on either, except it seems it is baby year amongst my friends in the UK :)

Oh, does anyone have any tips on finding a Hebamme? What I'm supposed to look for and ask, I'm trying to sift through the info but it's a bit daunting at the moment. Thank you!

Nutella one way to chose a midwife is to choose your hospital first, and then pick a midwife connected to that hospital, which increases the chances of having the same midwife in labour as before and after. I arrived in Germany 6 months pregnant with DC2 so did the hospital maternity ward tour fairly soon after arriving and asked at the end of the tour - because we live in a village a bit outside of everywhere a midwife who also lived out our way was suggested, and she was fine. With DC3 I didn't bother and asked the midwife I liked best in the hospital after he was born to be the one to come out to me at home - she was lovely, though I didn't need much from her I wouldn't have change4d my pick (but I had c-sections and never felt the need for any midwife care during pregnancy, so being that casual isn't the standard route). The other good way of course is to ask any local friends or neighbours with babies - although for that you'll want to wait until you are telling everyone you are pregnant of course!

Nutella 40 minutes away sounds like a good distance, not too near and not too far !

I can't remember how I found my Hebamme, I think a neighbour suggested I call her as I did the first pregnancy with all check-ups at the gynecologist so I didn't have a Hebamme before I gave birth. With the 2nd dc I didn't go to a gynecologist and was looked after by the first hebamme through out the pregnancy. She wasn't at the birth though - I just went into hospital, gave birth and came home the same day - then my hebamme came to me at home. Not much help, sorry.

Those of you with older dc, how strict are you with sending them into school when they're erkältet? Ds has had a blocked nose and a slight cough for over a week now, it should be clearing up but it isn't. He has a really sore red nose from blowing it all the time too.

I was thinking he could maybe do with a couple of days in bed plus the weekend. Hard to keep a tennager tucked up in bed all day but maybe I'm too strict about going to school? Trouble is his class has been in trouble for attendance rates already, lots of them take Mondays off for some reason and if they sleep in they just don't bother to come at all. Well, it's a group of about 6 or 7 dc who always do this but it makes the overall attendance too low for the whole class - the worst in their year.

admylin I can't imagine I'd let my kids stay off school just for a slight cold tbh - not unless they had a fever/ head ache/ aching to make it more "flu like" . But then maybe I am subconsciously influenced by the fact I had to have a "proper" high temperature or visible symptoms - as in clearly have measles or something, or be constantly vomiting, to be allowed off school, as it as inconvenient for my parents if we had unplanned days off missing school was a big deal to my parents. So perhaps I will start letting DD have time off for colds in order to do the opposite :o

But seriously when DD did have 2 days off school, the days work and the homework were sent home for her to do at home, which is a bit of a discouragement to malingering :o Does your DS's school do that? I'd think early nights would do the trick, whole days in bed seem a bit much unless you feel that he is absolutely exhausted and that might be why he isn't kicking the cold?

I think you could be right -the early nights thing would help. He's 14 and seems to think any time before 10pm is too early to go to bed on a school night .

He's just come home early anyway as biology was cancelled and he's freezing cold (but it is cold today) and is in bed with a cup of pfefferminztee! If only he would believe me that sleep is the best remedy.

admylin I've never kept the DC home from school for a cold. The DDs have both had around 2-3 days off school in total over the last four years, and only ever for stomach bugs. Having said that, they've never really had bad colds where they've asked to stay home or I've even considered it. I'm quite strict about sending DS to KiGa even when he says he's feeling ill as I know that a tummy ache often just means that he doesn't want to go to KiGa (I'll tell his teacher and say that I'll come and pick him up if he really is ill, but he invariably makes a miraculous recovery), but don't need to be so strict with the DDs as I know they wouldn't ask to stay at home unless they really felt ill. They've often gone to school with slight coughs and colds, but feeling OK in themselves.

EnglishWoman It's the same here; if a child is off sick, either a parent will go into school to pick up all the school work they have to catch up on or another child will bring it home for them. It doesn't give you much of a chance to recover!

Gator The problem with leaving jackets unzipped is that some interfering well-meaning stranger will invariably zip them back up for you, which annoys me immensely as they obviously know what's best for my child. Thankfully, the interfering is decreasing as the DC get older although we still get plenty of comments (from friends) about us being underdressed. I really feel the cold and think I dress quite warmly, so have been quite surprised that two or three friends think I'm often underdressed (it must be the lack of hat and scarf).

Nutella Grandparents are all in their 70s here, but I think my ILs' strange ideas are more to do with where they live (rural Austria; a friend of mine here who is in her forties and from the same area is just as bad) than their age.

silken Hope the meet-up with Ploom goes well next weekend.

My bike was still there yesterday evening and not looking too rusty, despite all the rain we had yesterday. DS was very pleased that his hand clapper thingies (handed out at the race) were still in the basket; I must admit I was surprised they were still there.

I've just taught my last ever English lesson (outside school) and we're now off to DS's Sommerfest at KiGa. Can't believe he's only got three days left there (unless I send him in the summer holidays).

Ooh thanks, admylin, I'll keep an eye out for them.

Linzer Yay for the last ever English lesson - I hope you're planning on celebrating. I don't think I'd have been as patient as you. Hope the weather holds out for the Sommerfest.

Nutella I called the hospital I wanted to give birth in and they put me in touch with a midwife practice, who in turn put me in touch with a midwife who lived near me. I called her and arranged for her to come round one afternoon and basically grilled her on how it all works as I had no idea. She was brilliant and she worked at the hospital I gave birth in, but wasn't working when I actually gave birth. I think she came round every day for the first week or so after I came home from the hospital, then every few days after that and was always available on the phone or would phone me back asap. I had all my ante-natal care with a gynaecologist so only really had the Hebamme for post-natal care. She was really supportive and brilliant with all my bf problems. I think my top tip would be make sure you like her and that you think you'll still like her when you're hormonal, emotional and haven't slept for a week :) (I called mine at 9pm on a Sunday in hysterics as DS had been sick. It was about a mouthful of milk but I was convinved he was dying but she talked me down, offered to come over and was generally fabulous. I am now a bit in love with her.)
It doesn't sound like this was an issue for the others but when I started looking for a post-natal midwife at about 6 months pregnant the hospital said that I might have left it too late and that I might not find anyone etc etc. It turned out my midwife had one space left for when I was due so it's worth starting to look early-ish.

Linzer glad the bike was still there and great that you don't have any more English lessons.

I have had an e-mail from the cheeky caretaker - in reply to one I sent him 2 days ago. It just said that the land lady and the plumber had been informed und es läuft also alles with 4 exclamation marks. I take that as him meaning it's good news for me but who knows, could also be his sarcastic side or something. I can't stand him but I have to smile and nod and be nice to him or he will never help out when things break.

I'm still going to check out some other flats this week though.

Sending ds to school tomorrow as he managed to stay up until after 10pm and was happily chatting to his friends and playing on the laptop all evening so no sympathy. I was just having a soft momment when he did the dying swan this morning. He must have it from his dad, or just his male genes! I fall for it every time (well not every time with dh)!

What does es läuft also alles mean exactly, admylin - that they're dealing with it? I would understand it as meaning that everything is working/going well, but it doesn't make sense in that context.

DS wanted to stay at home this morning as well because he hurt his big toe at KiGa yesterday. After weeks when everything was fine, he had to be dragged off me kicking and screaming for the second day running this morning. Ah well, only two more days to go.

Gator I was very tempted to have a large glass of wine, but am still being very good and not drinking during the week!

The Sommerfest went well; I enjoyed it much more than the school one as there were far fewer people and far less queuing at all the Stationen. The weather was perfect too; nice and sunny, but not too hot.

This is the girls' last full morning at school, although DD2 isn't actually at school as her class has gone on a school trip to the Jolly factory. (Why are Austrians - and probably Germans too - so keen on product names with happy, lucky, jolly, etc. in them?) Tomorrow we've got the Verabschiedung der vierten Klassen at 10 am and they're out of school at 10.15 am on Friday.

Linzer hope your ds cheers up quickly once you've left. It's not nice leaving them like that is it? Hopefull yhe will settle better when he goes to Vorschule and he gets a nice teacher.

The whole e-mail from the caretaker was : Hallo , die Vermieterin weiß Bescheid und dem Klemtner habe ich auch noch mal Bescheid gesagt!!! Es läuft also alles!!! MfG so I answered: Hallo, OK danke!!! MfG - I couldn't resist it, normally I sit for ages geting the absoloute best grammar I can manage and polite endings etc. And it is Klempner isn't it?!

It's really cold here, haven't had a cold summer like this for years. Probably last time I was in the UK for summer was the last time I needed fleece jackets and warm socks in June!

Welcome to Bertie and Nutella!

I found my midwife by asking friends for recommendations and everyone recommended the same person, so I went with her. She was really lovely, very calming and reassuring, which was exactly what I needed.

admylin I hope alles laüft really quickly with the repairs. I don´t blame you for keeping an eye open for other flats that might be available.

Linzer We´re also in the final stretch leading up to the holidays. The Schwimmfest was cancelled yesterday and will now take place tomorrow if the weather improves. I can collect the Zeugnisse at 8:30 on Friday and then we´re finished. I´m really looking forward to not having to get up early, although I´m sure dd and ds have other ideas.

admylin Ah, I understand now - he means that things are underway as they've told the plumber (and yes, it is Klempner). Love all the exclamation marks in your reply!!! I thought your reply sounded absolutely fine by the way; you don't need to go over-the-top with politeness in that kind of e-mail.

hupa School used to finish at about 8.45 am as soon as we'd collected the Zeugnisse, but the last couple of years the children have gone to a Messe before they get their Zeugnisse, which does at least give me a child-free hour or so.

So do you need to find a midwife if you give birth in Germany? You can see one here pre/post-natally if you want to (although you'd still have to go to the gynae for the check-ups), but I don't know many people who did. I didn't see a single doctor throughout my pregnancy in the USA as I had midwife-led care, but the only time I saw a midwife here was when the DC were born.

Morning all!! I had a fab (if very very wet) time in the UK. Was nice to see friends and I enjoyed the freedom of being able to go out in the evening but as I suspected I was awake stupidly early every morning.

Welcome to nutella and bertie. I had my dc in the UK so am no use about midwifes etc here.

admylin - hope the jobs get sorted soon but agree with hupa that keeping an eye out for other flats wouldnt be the worst idea.

hupa - hope you enjoy the holidays. Have you got plans to go away?

Linzer - whoo hoo to no more english lessons & another whoo hoo that kiga is nearly finished. Hope you enjoy the holidays too. Am going to see silken's nice new house at the weekend so will let her know that you're heading this way later in the summer and see if she's about too. When do you go to Italy?

gator - oh the joy of your ds being at that stage where he can get into mischief in the blink of an eye! We resorted to putting dd in the travel cot in the living room sometimes at that age just to get some jobs done (the house was really open plan so she got everywhere).

englishwoman - glad you enjoyed Playmobil land but forgot to warn you about the restaurant being a hassle. Also forgot to say you can go inside when you first get there and put your jackets on a table and leave them there all day therefore reserving the table for yourselves. Sorry. We also take lots of water and leave that on the table too. Makes life a wee bit easier in the lunchtime rush.

silken - looking forward to saturday. Hope the weather stays good.

Waves to anyone I've missed.

Been a bit chaotic since I got back - dh managed to look after the dc really well but didnt manage to find the washing machine so you can imagine how much washing there was . There was also an infoabend at the school for ds2 to find out which teacher he has and to be given the list of stuff to buy. Not one heft on that list is the same as for ds1 - would make life easier if they would standardise it.

And dd has been complaining since I got back on Sunday of a really painful heel (and she's not one to moan normally). So I took her to the doctor yesterday and he says she's got inflammation of the growth plate in her ankle. She's not allowed to do sport for 2 weeks and we've to go back then but he says it often takes a long time to settle down . But i've still sent her to school today - my dc have to be really really ill to stay home.

I've also been to the hairdresser this morning for only the 2nd time since we moved here in 2009 . She's done a good job altho the layers arent quite right - I bloody hate going to the hairdresser. Wish I could do a good job of it myself.

Thanks everyone for the tips on our Hebamme search! I'm interested in finding one more than anything else by the fact that the Krankenkasse will pay for it and I feel that after all the money I've paid out I totally deserve whatever the system has to offer :o

I don't really mind who I see for what check-ups, but it is important to me to find a Hebamme I get along with and can question loads but who isn't going to judge me on being disorganised and having no clue about being a parent :o

Ploom I know what you mean about hairdressers! I have found a great one in Hannover who spent some time in the states. Otherwise looking at the other citizens of Hannover the haircuts are pretty hideous, IMHO.

admylin I very clearly remember last year being similarly wet and miserable here, and everyone telling me it isn't normally like this in Germany and the Marschseefest being the most awful washout :( But I haven't lived anywhere in England where it rained as often as here!

You obviously haven't lived in Wales, Nutella. (Not that it's in England, contrary to popular belief here. )

Well done on going to the hairdresser's, Ploom. It's very rare to find one who's good with curly hair; I always used to hate going until I started drying my hair straight. I remember going just before my graduation for the first time in about four years.

DD2's last ballet lesson - and our final afterschool activity - of the school year out of the way. I was hoping that she would decide to drop some activities next year, but she's already said that she wants to carry on going to yoga, has asked me to sign her up for IT (offered in the 6th hour at school next year) and now wants to go to Mädchen-Fit-Turnen since she went to a Schnupperstunde a couple of weeks ago (five or six of the other girls in her class go). She does enough activities for all three of them.

Ploom glad you had a great time in UK. I saw on fb that you went through Penrith! That's my nearest to home station! Was rather wet I hear!

I had something like your dd in Berlin. My heel was so painful even when I was sitting down. Doctor gave me ibuprofen for 2 weeks and told me to get some 'sensible' shoes! I'd been walking for miles in Madrids because it was summer and they were comfy but not for walking as much as I had to.

Nutella you obviously haven't lived in the Lake District I actually like rain and cool summers but it must be down to me being brought up in one of the wettest parts of England!

Agree, the Krankenkasse is expensive, we hardly ever need to go to the doctor and the dc only just needed check ups at the dentist and now their braces that we have to fork out a fortune for on top of the KK payments. Still, when you do need something you do get excellent treatment and service.

Linzer I don't know how you cope with all the extra activities for 3 dc! All that running around and dropping off and collecting will keep you busy (and fit!).

Last dyslexia lesson today for a while for dd. The Jugendamt people are assessing her results to see if they want to keep on paying for it or not and they will take ages. The therapists says a break is fine though and most dc do stop for a few weeks atleast over the summer. Dd just wrote a dictation with hardly any spelling mistakes though so she is improving alot. Have you noticed an improvement in dd1 Linzer?

Yeah admylin - i was supposed to travel south with the train but carlisle was flooded so a very kind friend drove me to Penrith. Its a nice wee station - quite old fashioned but I like that.
Sounds like the dyslexia lessons are helping. Think it sounds like carrying it on after the holidays might be a good idea.

nutella - i find it nowhere near as wet here but I lived on the west coast of the UK my whole life so I've seen enough rain to last my whole life.

linzer - oh I know your pain about the activities but I have to try to see the positive that if the boys are doing a sport or whatever then they're not bickering with each other. Thankfully only 2 activities at the moment are out the village (they older dc do 2 each & ds2 does 3) so I dont feel like a taxi. I'm sure it'll get worse as they get older.

Just been out fast walking thro the forest & felt freaked out for the first time - it was weirdly misty - felt like a scene from a horror movie . well at least it made me walk faster - burn more calories and all that.

It's amazing how much the weather varies within the UK. When we were living in London, it always came as a shock to the system to visit my parents and find how much colder and wetter it was there. DD2 was looking at the weather where my parents live this morning - 16° and rain every day. It's usually 4-5° warmer and rains about half as often in London. I find the endless rain quite depressing (although don't remember it bothering me when I was growing up), although I'm not a fan of hot summers either and am really not looking forward to the 34° forecast for this weekend.

It's very hard to tell if DD1 has improved since she started going to her dyslexia tutor (she's been going since the 1. Klasse, anyway). Her grades still aren't great, but they might have been even worse if she hadn't gone. She does enjoy going, but at ?38 it's a teurer Spaß so she's having a break from it now and we'll see how she gets on at the Neue Mittelschule before we decide whether to send her again.

There was an article in the paper the other day about how parents are finding Nachhilfe too expensive and are doing it themselves. The majority of primary school parents "learn" with their children every day, although it's hard to know exactly how much that covers; it could just be five minutes of homework supervision. Apparently 40% "learn" with their children at secondary school, which still seems quite high but doesn't surprise me.

Ploom Yes, getting out of the house is a necessity most some days! DS had a friend over yesterday afternoon but they kept squabbling, DS was refusing to play with him, etc. I took them to the playground and they were absolutely fine and played really well together. I'm still waiting for him to get to the age where (like the girls) he'll just go off and play with his friends somewhere else in the house, won't require constant intervention and I'll actually be able to get on with something!

Off to the Verabschiedung der 4. Klassen now; where did the morning go?! Ah yes, it was only two hours long.

I just came across this on Facebook and it made me smile :)

I had a clear out of all the random old magazines I have knocking around the place (mainly as they are DS' new favourite snack) and I got far too excited by the discovery of some Canadian Christmas magazines under the bookcase. I think I need help.....

Linzer I have a friend who lives in Wales and they might possible have more rain than here but I have no desire to try it out personally :o

I can live with a cool summer but rain really brings me and DP down. He spent the last 12 years in Nürnberg and it's one of the sunniest parts of Germany, time will tell if we can adjust to being soggy...

Just got a big blue folder from the Krankenkasse (ooohhhh) but I'm feeling too lazy to concentrate and read all the German. Did other people find reading and writing in German hard work at the beginning? (I've spent the last year learning German) Or am I just being lazy?

Great link, Gator - I may have to steal it later. A couple of the things made me lol, especially the ones about German radio being responsible for keeping one-hit wonders going and the microphone on the bus. I also remember buying a copy of Bravo on the school exchange and being very to discover a pin-up of David Hasselhoff in it. So true about the lack of leering too, and something I really appreciate about life here. I often run past workmen and builders and it's so nice to be ignored.

Nutella I still find reading German hard work, and I have a degree in the language. Official forms and letters have a language designed to be incomprehensible to the average person, I think. I rarely need to write more than a quick e-mail or text and read far less than I should (I only ever really read English books and magazines); reading magazines is a great way to pick up the language, though as is trashy daytime TV.