Wenn es im Winter stürmt und schneit, haben wir eine Flasche Glühwein allzeit bereit - life in Germany and Austria

[LinzerTorte]

As I couldn't find a suitable poem mentioning Glühwein, I composed my own. Please don't laugh.

All welcome - anyone living in Germany, Austria or anywhere else who would like to chat.

I'm blaming linzer too - why oh why have I spent an hour this afternoon reading random minor slebs's tweets! It just eats time!

Sorry! I've also spent longer than I planned on there this afternoon, but mainly tweeting to "normal" people rather than stalking slebs. Rather worryingly, BBC News is now following me. Are you maybe clicking on the hash tag, admylin? (e.g. if somebody puts #2012 at the end of their tweet, if you click on it you can see all the posts that mention #2012)

Off to pick up the DC now; they've all been over at a friend's house this afternoon, so I've had an unexpected 1.5 hours to myself.

Morning, just got my internet connection back on. It went off yesterday afternoon just as ds and his friend were going to settle down for an hour playing online and dd was going to do some research for a project.

Didn't have time to call the help number last night but managed to get help this morning. T-online help line is really good. Only worrying thing is, they can see your computer and tell you what to do, where to click etc. Seems strange to think the person can see right onto my computer, once he even took over and could make clicks himself.

Morning all,

Glad you've got the Internet back, admylin. I'd be lost without it, although at the same time would probably find it quite liberating. The computer helpline people at the company where I worked in Germany used to do that remote desktop thing too; I found it very disconcerting!

I've got my first two English lessons of this year later on and am not feeling very motivated at the moment; I waver between really enjoying it and thinking that my life would be much easier if I gave it all up. I also have to prepare the two lessons for school on Thursday, although hopefully I've still got some material that I didn't use last year so I won't have to start from scratch.

DH had his first day in his new job yesterday (although he's not starting officially until February) so we had a glass of Sekt in the evening to celebrate. Not that we seem to need much of an excuse for Sekt. He's off to Romania later on today so I'm going to try and have an early night tonight rather than pottering around till after midnight like I usually do when he's away.

Glad you got your internet back admylin - I really am so addicted that I'm lost without it. Can now get it on my new mobile (altho its not cheap) but it let me feed my addiction while we were away. I find it freaky too when someone remote access's your computer - like big brother is watching you.

Can see why your not motivated about the english linzer after all the trouble with the dc last year. But think of what you can spend the money on - maybe that'll keep you motivated. Hope twitter doesnt stop you getting an early night!

Didnt manage to shred last night - the bedtime routine just took too long. They go to Kinderturnen on a monday eve so its always late by the time they have a shower etc. But I shredded this morning then cleaned the house so feel very virtuous. And i've been using that "myfitnesspal" app and I had 188 calories left at the end of the day yesterday. i will be thin

Well done canella! Calories left over sounds good too. I'm sure I don't go over on calories either so it must be the lack of sport in my case.

Speaking of calories, can't get my dc full at the moment. They are constantly hungry and asking for food. Last night the pair of them chomped through a whole packet of crackers (plain), a knopers each and then hot chocolate just before bed time. In the afternoon I put a big plate of crackers and cheese, some crisps and a huge bowl of fruit salad on the table before ds and his friend went to table tennis, every last crumb was eaten, looked as if I'd put empty clean plates and bowls on the table when I went to check on them.

Lunch was wedges and mexican style fried veg (red and yellow peppers, kidney beans, sweetcorn, onion, green beans and tomatoes). Maybe they need more protein?

admylin that meal does sound a bit light on protein, although delicious. I guess a meat-eater would probably stick a piece of grilled chicken in there, not sure what I would add - I find it hard to avoid eating cheese with everything.

Re the tax return: we've used the CD-ROM software in the past, too, but now have a Steuerberater. I don't think it has saved us any money, but it is nice not doing it ourselves any more. I have heard of people saving thousands, though, I think it depends on how your income is made up.
As far as I know, wrt Werbungskosten, there is a set figure of something like ?925 which everyone can deduct without producing receipts. In fact I used to find generally that the tax form seems to require a lot less information than I feel it should!

Linzer I feel like that about my English lessons most of the time, too.

Canella I'm trying to eat a bit more healthily too atm. I've stopped snacking and am intending to eat more fruit and veg, although it's so hard in winter. I was inspired by you to make myself a salad for lunch, though, so thanks for that!

gator I did a bit of wardrobe decluttering recently, but the bags of clothes are still in the bedroom waiting for me to take them to the Kleidersammlung . Did anyone else pick up on the suggestion on the organised thread to just have 12 outfits that all look great on you in your wardrobe? I would love to have that, but I reckon 11 outfits would involve jeans as I spend so much time sitting on floors.

Glad it's not just me who feels like that, silken. The first lesson was quite difficult as the children were all very restless and I was constantly having to tell the boys to stop talking, but the two KiGa boys (three with DS) in the second lesson were surprisingly well behaved for once.

I actually stopped wearing jeans and trousers when the DC were little as I spent so much time kneeling on the floor that they used to go baggy round the knee within a couple of weeks. Now I live in dresses, which is very easy as I don't really have to think about coordinating an outfit, or tunic tops and leggings. I don't really like wearing trousers anyway as I think they make me look dumpy.

admylin A friend of mine who used to be vegetarian said he had to go back to eating meat as he was just never full enough otherwise. I don't have that problem (I find pasta, cheese, bread, etc. can all be very filling), although I should definitely eat more protein. I do eat quite a bit of cheese but need to make more of an effort to cook with pulses, tofu, etc.

Canella Have heard that myfitnesspal is very good - but do you have to enter absolutely everything you eat and if so, isn't it a lot of effort? I really need to make more of an effort with my diet as I only ever snack on unhealthy food (Cadburys and hobnobs, basically) and really need to introduce a bit more variety - I just seem to eat the same things day in, day out. Well done on the shredding and cleaning btw, am v. impressed.

I've been reading the getting organised thread too and finally managed to read through to the end last night, so am feeling quite inspired at the moment. I think that staying off MN is going to be the key to my success (or lack of it).

Silken, thanks for the tip, I will look into Wertbungskosten and maybe dh will get something back for all the business trips he had to pay for out of his own pocket.

That idea with the 11 outfits sounds good, I can probably put together about 3 or 4 decent outfits and the rest of my stuff is really ready for replacing, just need a trip to the UK to get some decent clothes shopping done though!

Linzer, I am like you and I could live on veg, salad and cheese! I think I need to try and give the dc more meat although I know there are plenty of veggie dc in the world. Maybe mine are just growing AGAIN and are always eating to compensate for that. Anyway, they both had eggs yesterday and I'm doing chicken goujons today for them.

Silken I'd be the same - I live in jeans these days. I made a point of packing away my maternity trackies when I was decluttering as I was just wearing them all the time and was starting to feel really slobby & horrible.

Linzer I hope the English lessons start to improve soon. Do you think you will carry on with them if things don't change? I was thinking of picking up a few more dresses/tunic tops as leggings make me feel like I am still in my pjs, but without looking like I have just fallen out of bed - win-win!

admylin Good luck with the Werbungskosten. I hope you manage to get some money back.

Canella Yay for the left-over calories! I'm very jealous of your willpower :)

Rückbildung wasn't great this morning. DS was doing his usual trick of pulling himself up into a sitting position using my fingers - I had no idea that that's actually really bad for babies, until the midwife told me off in front of everyone else and told me all the other women there were holding their babies perfectly, which was nice of her! The thing is, he only wants to sit at the moment, and I try to keep him leaned against my stomach or keep an arm behind his back to support him but he either pulls himself up or throws his upper body forward and cries if I try to hold him in any other position - not all the time, but a few times a day. So everyone looked at me like I was the worst mother in the world (most of them are on their second baby, so are naturally experts) and then when he got hungry and I made him his bottle, I looked up and realised everyone else was breastfeeding their babies and watching me and it just made me feel even more awful. I scarpered at the end, came home and just cried into my cheese sandwich. I normally try not to let things like this get to me but for some reason today I was über-sensitive. (My sandwich was lovely smoked cheese with bits of ham in it though, so the day wasn't all bad!)

(Sorry for the rant, I think I just needed to let that out!)

I'm also rubbish at ringing the changes with what I eat. Last New Year I bought three vegan cookery books in order to get some non-cheese-based inspiration, but apart from a rather tasty carrot and ginger soup, nothing has got added to our standard repertoire. DH isn't that keen on pulses, though, and he does the evening cooking, so I can't demand he makes chickpea curry and dhal constantly.

Spending too long on MN is definitely my biggest obstacle to getting more organised, too.

Gator sorry you had such a shit morning, no wonder you needed to rant.

Linzer I keep thinking I should buy more dresses as I tend to Live in jeans. Mind you jeans seem to be a bit of a uniform around here and I think I´d probably stick out like a sore thumb if I started wearing dresses.

admylin we use a Steuerberater, but I´m not sure of the cost because she also does the Praxis Steuer, so we get a discount. Your dh should certainly be able to claim back the cost of any courses he´s been on, plus travel costs and he can also claim for work clothes eg Lab coats etc.

Dd had English today in school. She explained that when the teacher introduced the new topic he used a word she´d never heard and she was really puzzled. It turns out the topic is "Clothes," but the teacher´s pronunciation was more like clovs.

silken I´m another who sticks to tried and tested meals. I got a new cook book for Christmas, so I really should try to motivate myself to try something new. My main problem is that I hate cooking, although I can happily study cook books for hours. I think I need to win the lottery and employ my own chef.

Gator, hope you feel abit better now, think we've all had those moments and we're here to rant to as it does help. I used to often shrug those sorts of remarks off by saying oh well good for you that you do it that way but I'm from the UK and we do things differently! You can use that when you start getting comments about your dc not being dressed in warm enough clothes!

I'm really mad. Picked up dd's expensive new hockey top this morning. It was payed for so just had to pick up. Just opened it up now and they've printed the team name and her number on it but it's the wrong size top. I'm going to have to go and complain and get them to change it but it means complaining and being assertive when/if they say they won't change it. Dd tried it on and showed it to the shop woman too. No way would I have bought such a small top so I have to worry about this until Friday now (shop has funny limited opening hours - not surprised when I see how much they earn selling their exclusive, expensive stuff) grrr.. another rant over!

gator One thing you'll find is that the advice you read in English (in books, online, etc.) is often completely the opposite to what you'll hear from German parenting "experts". It took me a while for it to stop bothering (and sometimes properly upsetting) me, but eventually you end up with more perspective than people who only know one system.

Germans, especially child development specialists like mws and baby group leaders, generally seem obsessed with the idea that helping babies to sit or walk before they do it themselves will lead to incorrect development of certain joints (or something). Dr Sears' bestselling Baby Book, otoh, shows pictures of "encouraging your 5 mo to sit". I'm not aware of an epidemic of hip misalignment in Britain or the US in comparison to Germany, are you?

Must go, but have more reassuring stuff to say on this topic later .

Oh you poor thing Gator, I really feel for you. I'm sure my three pulled themselves up that way too and I didn't realise there was anything wrong with it. Even if there is, there's no excuse for the midwife to speak to you in that way. Are you sure the other mothers were judging you - maybe there were just looking? I only ask because I tend to be oversensitive about things like that. If they really were judging, then they're not the kind of women worth spending time with; I probably wouldn't go back if it was me! And look on the bright side: at least you didn't burst into tears in front of everyone (like I did at the gynae once when the receptionist had a go at me).

Re English, the mother of one of the boys in yesterday's class (who are normally quite well-behaved) said she would have a word with him at home and was obviously not at all pleased with him. (She asked me how the lesson went and I'm sure that if I hadn't said anything, her two daughters would have - I know they've complained to her before about how unruly the two boys are when I haven't actually found them too bad.) I'm now actually more inclined to carry on than I was before, mainly because the second group was so much better behaved - although I can't pretend that teaching is my vocation and it really doesn't pay that well considering the amount of time I put into it.

silken Same here - and unfortunately, I've now discovered Twitter too. I had so many good intentions for this morning... I did manage to declutter my shoes and plan tomorrow's lessons, but not great considering I had five child-free hours.

admylin / silken I think the main reason for my lack of variety is that I'm only really cooking for myself - I cook meat for the children (as they probably wouldn't eat a lot of the veggie meals I'd cook if I made the effort) and DH has a hot meal at work so just makes himself a cold Jause in the evening. It would be easier if there were more veggie subsitutes here; today, for example, the DC are having chilli con carne (with kidney beans), which I could easily have done as chilli sin carne if I could get quorn etc. However, about the only thing I can get here is TVP, which you often have to soak overnight and I'm just not organised enough (although I've just remembered I have a big batch of cooked TVP in the freezer).

Aww thank you for being lovely and for talking some sense into me!

I had just started to feel a bit more confident about this baby malarkey and a bit less clueless so today knocked me a little.

I was slightly flustered before I had even walked into the midwife's practice anyway as I had to parallel park for the first time since my driving test (7 years ago!) and it took me a few goes so I was ripe for a knock. She didn't help matters either by muttering about first-timers wanting to show off their babies' skills after she had told me off.

Silken You make a good point about babies in the UK/US not having problems with their hips etc - I was fairly convinced I had given DS back problems for life! (Well, I don't want to speak too soon...) I had noticed that people here are far more regimented and cautious than in the UK, it was the same during pregnancy. I couldn't say whether it's a good thing or a bad thing but it's certainly made me feel a bit better.

I'm currently enjoying a nice cup of black tea with rose - I picked a pack up last time I was in the UK and have only just opened it and it's really tasty. It's Twinings, I think.

Glad you're feeling a bit better now, Gator. A cup of tea can cure many woes.

hupa I used to live in long skirts when I was a student and also mainly wore skirts at work, but then we moved to Germany and everyone where I worked used to wear jeans so I felt really uncomfortable and switched to trousers. I probably stick out a bit here too, although not quite as much as I would have done in Germany - but I do notice far more women wearing skirts and dresses when I go back to the UK.

admylin Oh no, how annoying about the top. I hate complaining/being assertive too, but sometimes it just has to be done.

silken It seems to be similar to the differences in attitude towards children learning to read before school. I'm sure I remember reading about ways in which you could encourage your baby to sit in What to Expect in the First Year (one of the baby bibles in the USA).

admylin What a nightmare! I hope they sort the hockey top for you without a fuss. Good luck with your assertive German :) I always find once I have managed something like that it really boosts my confidence. (Which reminds me, I need to phone the estate agent and moan at him but they only have weird oepning hours too.)
I've tried the 'oh really, we do it a little differently in the UK' thing before but it just seems to attract comments about how awful the UK must be! Maybe I just attract weirdos!

Linzer They might not have been judging but it really feels like it when all eyes are on you and everyone else is being held up as a model of how it should be done. (I've burst into tears at the gynaecologist's quite a few times too! It's funny how certain places provoke tears.) I'm glad things are looking up a little with the English classes. It's also good to know that at least one of the mothers is on board too, which isn't always a given.

Silken Does your DH eat meat? Chickpea curry sounds lovely. I might suggest it to DH for one night this week. We are both meat-eaters but I quite enjoy a few meat-free nights a week so something like that would be ideal.

Actually (sorry to completely hog the thread this afternoon) the midwife has totally confused me. She said babies shouldn't sit until they are 7 months, but I thought they had to be able to sit unaided if you wanted to introduce solids/purees at 5-6 months. Have I completely misunderstood? How did it work with your DCs?

DS is having a snooze on my chest just like when he was newborn & it's really lovely :)

Gator, have just looked at old photos of ds's 2nd birthday and dd would have been 6 and a half months then - there is a photo of her sitting alone on the rug infront of ds's birthday presents so she must have been sitting for a while as I'm not on the photo (probably taking it).

Thank you, admylin. I think I'll just take a chill pill & stop worrying. It's silly sometimes, the things I get myself worked up over.

It must be lovely looking back at the baby photos now that your DC are bigger :)

That's just ridiculous, Gator - how are you supposed to stop them sitting before seven months if they're ready to do so? And seven months doesn't seeem particularly early to me. DD1 sat up unaided for the first time on her sixth month "birthday" and I think the other two were sitting at around the same age, DS possibly slightly later (I only remember DD1's milestones!).

gator - I'm annoyed on your behalf! If he wants to sit up then let him! I remember clearly dd sitting early - think she might have been between 5 and 6 months. I've got photos of her propped up in sitting on the couch probably only about 4 months old since she always wanted to be upright. I always thought the bit about solids and sitting was they had to be able to maintain their position in a high chair to eat? Its all changed tho since I had dc3 so I'm not sure. (and II had all my dc in the UK so what do i know ).

admylin - thats annoying about the top esp when it was so expensive. Good luck with the assertiveness.

silken - I'm impressed that I inspired you to eat more healthily. I'm sure i'll fall off the wagon at some point. Was really hungry yesterday afternoon so have had some pasta today to try to get me thro without snacking.

linzer - I find that myfitnesspal app really easy to use. It is a faff the first week or so to input everything you eat but then it saves it all so if you're like me and normally eat the same things (seems we're all like this!) then you just click on what you've had. I@m allowed 1620 calories per day which to start of seemed a lot but if you eat any carbs it quickly uses them. But you can get extra calories obviously thro exercise but I try not to add those and just use my daily calories in the hope it helps me to lose weight faster.
But you dont need to lose any weight - I've seen photos of you - you can afford to eat those chocolate hobnobs! and wear dresses! I look like a heffalump in a dress. Just too big framed for delicate dresses.

hi hupa - did you have a good time in Munich?? Which cook book did you get? I got a Lorraine Pascale one - I like the look of lots of the recipies but whether I do them or not is another thing!

Shredded again this morning but have had to turn her voice off an just have the music - find her quite irritating. Dont know whether to move up to level 2 tho - I find level 1 really doable. I taught exercise classes in the UK for years so I find aerobics much easier than running but I'm so out of shape that I wonder if a bit longer at level 1 might help?? Also thinking of ordering Zumba for the wii - some friends were ravig about it - might help if I get bored of Jillian!