Living in America 2011

[MmeBucket]

We were a few messages away from being closed on the other one. Hope everyone finds me here.

They start at 8. They go from 8 to 10:40, except Wednesdays, when they get out at 10:15. (The rest of the school gets out an hour earlier on Wed.) She was in school longer when she was in preschool.

How's your DD liking Kindergarten?

DD does 9 - 11.40 except on School Improvement Wednesdays when they get out at 11, so much the same. She seems to really like it, but I agree went to pre-school more, even though that was only over 3 mornings! Her teacher is great and used to be a High School English teacher so has lots of different experience. How are yours getting on?

how does schooling work? DS is 3 and in nursery 3 mornings a week, what's the equivalent in the states? I know they don't start school proper til 5 but can you find flexible childcare and does anyone have any idea how it compares to the UK (cost wise mainly)

Hi nicobean, we're moving to LA in February so currently also going through the rigamole of upping sticks. Where in the UK are you currently? We're renting our London flat out but will prob go privately. We're currently talking to the International arm of Pickfords for the shipping, mainly because DH's company will pay them directly, anyone else we use we have to pay ourselves then reclaim the costs and we just don't have £4000 knocking around!

Feel free to pm me if you like - though I purport to know not very much at all at this stage, might be nice to chat to someone else going through it!

I don't know about school yet, DS is only 16 months old, but my daycare will take babies from teeny tinies right up through to Kindergarten and full time there for a toddler costs us $1500 a month. 3 days a week is $980 I think. This is in a relatively naice suburb of New Jersey, and California will be different (LA probably a lot more expensive) - but nannies might be a cheaper option, specially for two. I urge you to check out online groups for the area you're moving to, there will be either a meetup or a yahoo list for the town, I'll bet, and also probably a patch.com website, and that might help you start getting a feel for the place.
How exciting :)

If you are looking for cheaper daycare there are some options out there. While $1500/month is the cost in most New Jersey suburbs for daycare, we stumbled accross a daycare around the corner from DH's office which is in a converted warehouse. We pay $1175/month and it drops to $985/month at 18 months. Everywhere else was $2000 for up to 18th months and then $1500 for toddlers.

Due to the weather extremes the converted warehouse is a good idea. One half of the warehouse is converted into a gymnasium center with everything from vaults, parrallel bars, beams plus the crash mats. When it rains, snows or if there is a heatwave DD is playing indoors.

I would love if they went to school that late, Tad. Even 8:30 would be heaven.

DS is doing quite well. He has a group of friends I really like, and a teacher that I wasn't sure about in the beginning, but every day I go in to help I like her more and more. DD is doing great, but she's got a huge ego from this year, and seems to think she's "winning" school. I'm really beating myself up over the decisions we've made in regards to her and school, and I'm not liking her class much because she's got 2 kids in there that have one-to-one aides that don't seem to be well trained, and both have incidents where they've bitten and kicked the teacher, one of them while swearing profusely. (Fortunately DD was sick that day, but one of the other moms was there and she was furious)

Want2b, that sounds like a lovely place for your children to go.

MmeBucket We were very lucky to have found it. I was rather judgy about not wanting DD to be in a warehouse but once inside it is very cozy. The ladies who run her room are also lovely and will take the children for a walk if the weather is good. It would be nice for DD to be outdoor more often. The reality is that the US seems to have bigger everything compared to the UK, weather included!

Hi GirlWithTheMousyHair, thanks for getting back to me. We are in Bucks at the moment. Will be interesting to see how things go with you and Pickfords. Unfortunately as DH found this job himself we aren't going to get any money for moving...I can see us being squashed into the in-laws home for a while...

How long did you (and anyone else) wait for visas? I'm going for a green card as an alien spouse love the terms!

nicobean - USCIS posts the processing times on their website. It gives you a good idea as to how long it takes. A friend of ours had their green card application expidited by claiming that him not working was causing a financial hardship. He had his green card within a month of placing the call and providing proof of a job offer and low funds in the bank.

want2be that sounds amazing! I def want to do nursery style route - put DS into childcare just 2 days a week to give me a break, some time with DD (who'll be 2months when we move) and for him to socialise with children on a regular basis.

We're expecting our visas any day really (DH on H1B, me on H4), it's all getting sorted by DH's work so I've no idea how that all works. When we've been there a few months his work will start processing his green card application then I suppose once he has that I can get temporary working visas

Hi all,

Just thought I would join this thread as DH and I (and newly arrived DS, currently just 5 weeks) will be moving to the US in January 2012. DH has taken up an offer to work in Silicon Valley with a company he's always wanted to work for so will be on H1-B and DS and I will be on H4 so I won't be able to work. Initially we'll be living in San Francisco but will have the option to move closer to DH's work after that, which is near to San Jose.

Does anyone have any info on living out in that part of the US? DH has been there lots of times for work previously but I've only ever been to the East Coast of the US so there's some trepidation on my part. Am really not a sunshine person and am hoping there's more to West coast life than strip malls, highways and giant SUVs!

Also, I won't be able to work so wondered if anyone has any tips on how to meet other parents when living in the US? As DS will still be very young when we move, I'm keen to know how to meet other parents of young babies e.g. an NCT equivalent. From American friends I have, my impression is that American society is very much oriented towards socialising and community but it would be good to know how this is in reality, when actually living in the US. I've heard a lot of family activity and even childcare is 'church'-oriented and I'm not religious at all so would be interested to know if you can avoid the whole religion thing while living there. Any tips would be great to have!

hello InMyPrime - I don't know about the west coast BUT I am longing to go there- all my British, NY-dwelling friends talk about San Francisco as if it's the promised land, and wish they could live there- so I'm a tad jealous :)

To my understanding, San Francisco is a big city that's kind to people who like to walk or take public transport, with lots and lots and lots going on, and heaps of families.

In NJ there's a lot of church- oriented stuff, but neither DH nor I will ever darken the doors of a religious institution and we've found lots of stuff. Local libraries doing storytime, local meetup.com groups for toddler play, our old town had a 'family association' which held jumble sales for baby clothes and fun days in the park - oh, heaps of stuff. It was a concern of mine too, but I haven't noticed that we're missing out on anything by not belonging to a church.

hello all, hope u are all well

So (jumping straight into it) any ideas on how to get Carters clothes shipped to the UK? Macys internationally ship but their stock isn't great and Carters direct don't ship overseas.

inmyprime where I was (3 hours south of San Fran) was a NCT equivalent. I don't know if it was just local, I'll have to look it up as I can't remember the name. The churchy groups arn't too bad, or there are library music swimming classes etc. Local childrens shops will be a good source of info.

inmyprime we're doing a similar move with a similar situation in February (though in our case we're moving to LA and with a toddler and a newborn) - I have a friend who moved to SF with her husband last year and is now pregnant and expecting their baby in April/May so I know will be looking into all the family stuff to do in the city very soon - can pick her brains for you if you like? They absolutely LOVE it in SF, and am a little jealous as I have trepidations about LA...but to be honest am seriously looking forward to spending maternity leave in the sunshine!

So DH has had a notification from his company's lawyers saying the next stage in the visa process is beginning, he has "permission to apply", we've gone from being told he'd have his visa by mid-October to it looking unlikely it'll happen before Christmas, does anyone have any idea on timelines? He's being sponsored for a H1B, DS, DD and I will all be on H4

h1-B are limited per year, so you may be waiting for someone to leave before you are able to apply. once they're in the system, they seem to go through quite quickly.

being on h4 is a bit pants - you can't even do voluntary work (you can help out at school, but not do reg. work for a charity), so quite limited.

where i live there's LOADS of mum & baby/toddler type things, as well as pre-schools, 'young fives' & kindergarten. also lots of people put their kids into nursery for one or two mornings a week once they're about 3 or 4.

been absence due to the storms recently - we had power cuts, which then blew our router, so I had no internet for 3 days I survived, just about.

Hi Penguin, I haven't got a clue about the Carters' shipping BUT if you ship stuff to me here, I'll post it on to you if you like?

Just went into carters this weekend - DS appears to be in the middle of a major grow, all his trousers look like cutoffs!

yeah I'd heard about that too natasha but through a friend - the lawyers at DH's work haven't mentioned it so I'm keeping schtum. He started working for them as a self-employed consultant from home in the UK in September, they're all set for us moving out as soon as the visas come through, though I'm holding them off til Feb to get the baby and Christmas out the way first.

H4 does sound shit, we've found a loophole that'll potentially allow me to work but to be honest with the toddler, newborn and move it'll be a while before I get itchy feet anyway, and the company are sponsoring DH's green card application once we land - I know nothing about this but presumably once he's got that I can have a working visa of some sort?

You get an employment authorization card when your green card is approved so a few weeks before that arrives. However it took almost 2 years for our green card to arrive (though my husband was on an L1B visa and me an L2 so could get a work permit anyway) so things may be completely different. The L visas are for people who are transferring from one country to the US but within the same company. May be worth looking into? Was it Mdazva who also moved to the Bay Area recently? She hasn't posted in a while but it may be worth PMing her if she still has her account. She'll be upthread.

So looking at the carters website it says they are unable to ship to international addresses at the moment. We have a factory store nearby where stuff is heavily discounted and I always have a voucher so I can get some stuff for you (I think it's last year's stuff, but don't count on me to know!) and I can ship it to you, if you like PA? Do you have a paypal account?

ooh discount you say

I, well DH, has paypal. Problem with the store is I won't be able to look at it. Was going to wait to either post thanksgiving or post xmas to make most of sales if there are any/slash see what others get us. Don't care about last years stuff as mainly after vests and non pink clothing. I could probably do a wish list for the kind of stuff I like and you could then use that to pick stuff. (just rambling here really)

Any idea what postage would be, I remember there being those boxes that were a set size and guess clothing wouldn't take up that much.

Also thanks to blackcurrants, I shall store you both away.

Everyone looking forward to thanksgiving. I'm quite surprised at how much I'll miss it and I was only there one year.

tadjennyp where is this carter's factory store? Is it like an outlet? If there is any feasible way of getting decent warm clothes cheaper for my monstrously-fast-growing son, I want in! :)

Oops, just x-posted on threadkillers! Sales are pretty much ongoing in our factory store. T-shirts that are usually $16 are often discounted by half and I normally have a 25% off voucher. They have some lovely coloured stuff in at the moment for girls that is not pink! I have just bought some stuff to send as Christmas presents. The flat-rate boxes are within the US only and it can get quite expensive. I'll let you know tomorrow as I am sending my Christmas presents.

Blackcurrants, it is indeed an outlet. We have a Columbia outlet there too! I am in Oregon!

er, nope - but thanks for the info, I'll ask if we can request to be in EB1. I know nothing about visas at all...