Single parent Moving to Paris - am I mad?

[sizzler21]

Hello anyone who has moved to or is living in paris!
Its likely that a new job opportunity will come up in next week that will mean moving to Paris (one way ticket!) in next few months with my 2 children; DD 12 and DS 9 years. Im a single parent (widowed) so have lots of questions.....

First of all am I mad? Can I single parent with demanding job survive in Paris? Is it easy to get au pairs? Will it be too costly to have 4 bedroom apartment for me and an au pair and 2 children to live in harmony?

Then schools the EAB Victor Hugo sounds perfect to not have too much of shock academically but hopefully turn out bilingual children with an IB. DD doing well at French at school but not at all fluent DS none at all. ANy reviews of Victor Hugo?

Is Paris even a good place to live?

any advice perspective appreciated!

Bumping and lurking. I'd lurve to move to gay paree. . Is the job something you'd like?

Paris is a very good place to be a single parent. I have a German friend here who moved (with her three DCs) from Shanghai to Paris in preference to all other locations worldwide when her husband left her.

Four bedroom apartments are quite rare on the rental market - most people with au pairs house them separately in a chambre de bonne as this is cheaper. To be honest, I'm not sure you need an au pair - most families here with DCs your age have a cleaner/housekeeper who keeps an eye on the DCs after school, will do school run etc.

The job sounds great and worth considering the move for and im up for a new adventure. But will involve international travel. This is my big challenge today in current job in london and why have an au pair as need someone on hand to look after when Im away. I also have a dog that needs someone around during day. Not a straightforward scenario to set up and manage in new city but hopefully not impossible.

Ive never heard of a 'chambre de bonne' is this like just a rented room somewhere. Any idea how much? By time pay school fees, extortionate apartment rental, au pair salary, their chambre de bonne its beginning to look like a long list!

Chamber de bonne is a room, usually in your building up the top - you can find appts which come with them.

Au pairs are relativy easy to find but their working hours are much more regulated if on an AP visa, which may rule out overnight care and mean you need to find an AP type person eligible to work as a nanny. EAB Victor Hugo is okay as a school and nowhere near as expensive as ISP. EABJM is your other, more academic, option.

Go for it. Paris is fab.

Agree with SnapFrakkleandPop that getting an au pair to do overnighters could be complicated. A Filipina housekeeper is more likely to fulfil that role, and will do all your cleaning, cooking, ironing etc.

You could send your children to EABJM or EAB adaptation - that would be a lot cheaper than EAB Victor Hugo and, to be honest, if you in Paris for the long term, it will be much nicer for your children as there is a lot of pupil/family turnover in English medium schools and their friends will come and go, whereas bilingual schools have a much more stable (though international) population.

A dog, is, IMO, a really hard family member to reconcile with apartment living/international work travel.

Oh, you get a tax break for domestic employees, by the way - you really need to investigate this fully as it can be very significant. You might even get a better deal as a widow.

Yes, you need a housekeeper.

One of the girls in my office rents a chambre de bonne. There are a lot of stairs. But it is a nice room, and has loo and shower room attached, plus tiny kitchen area. She pays about 600 euros a month for it, which includes everything.

My children are the same age as yours, and at the American school. What sort of "package" will you be coming here on - will it pay school fees?

Thanks for all advice. Must admit that this now feels a little bit daunting having to get so many things to fit into place.
I think schools is a whole topic in itself! I'm waiting to hear what package would be but expect school fees for a year. My children are at private school now ( no financial help at moment) & would want to hopefully reduce amount per year spend on this as it's already way too much. I don't think that international schools would be right for mine in a semi permanent move. My children are both doing well at school academically but dd at difficult age (nearly 13) to make big move. Always hard to know if making right decision.

Any idea how much need to pay housekeeper? I pay my live in au pair (outside of London though£ £360 per month. So can see any school fee savings being swallowed up elsewhere!

I'll ask my friend what she pays her housekeeper. I think, full time, it works out about 8 euros an hour, but she lives out, so living in should be cheaper.

I think the tax break for employing domestic help has just been cut quite drastically. You'd need to check that out.

Bonsoir, can you tell me more about why Paris is a good place to be single parent?

I also checked out the tax break and as far as can tell you don't pay incomecrax on 50% of domestic helps salary which seems like a very good deal versus what we have in uk.

sizzler21 - first of all, because there are a lot of tax breaks/state help for parents - France is one of the countries where the state really believes in its role of helping parents share the burden of bringing up children. As AuldAlliance says, there have been lots of debates about reducing the tax breaks on domestic help, but at the moment you get 50% off your bill for domestic help (nannies, housekeepers, tutors, window cleaners etc are all included in this) in the form of a reduction in tax the following year. An au pair (who you pay in kind - food and shelter and bills) is not therefore very tax efficient. But you really should consult a tax specialist on this.

Paris is also really good for teenagers, IMO, as once children are in secondary school they are all expected to transport themselves to school and extra-curricular activities, either on foot or by public transport, so, as a parent, you have much less to do.

The standard organisational scenario for a family like yours would be to live very centrally, as near as possible to your DCs' school(s), and you would walk your younger DC to school every morning and then your nanny/housekeeper would pick him up at the end of the school day and take him to his after school activities and supervise homework/play from a distance while cooking supper until you get home. Your elder DC would have her own housekey.

You would need a housekeeper who could stay overnight when you travel abroad and, realistically, this usually means a Filipina housekeeper as they are here without families and don't mind doing extra hours for cash.

The 50% of costs of employing domestic help are still deductible from your tax bill - up to a ceiling of EUR 12,000 (can be a bit more depending on how many children you have). The changes affect the deductibility of employers' charges (NI contributions) but that is fairly minor.

EUR 9 per hour net is considered the standard rate for domestic employees. EUR 12 would be a lot.

Yes, sorry, my mistake, it is the employers' contributions that are no longer tax deductible.
Depending on your income, that may or may not be minor. I know several people for whom it is potentially a very hard adjustment to make in a tight monthly budget.

AuldAlliance - I think it is a fairly minor consideration for the OP (given that she is reworking her whole domestic budget here). Obviously, when you have already committed to outgoings, a few hundred euro can make a huge difference to your comfort.

Thank you both for taking time to provide such useful perspective. I'm sure I will be back with some more questions in a little while as things progress!