Help! Pregnant in France

[FluffyDonkey]

Just found out I'm pregnant with DC1.

Now I'm at a bit of a loss what to do next!

Have been googling and the basic advice is to see the "gynecologue" to get tests done and then to register with the clinic/hospital where you want to give birth.

Have made an apointment for next week.

However I have NO idea where I want to give birth! I live in Paris (17) - any recommendations? Can I really chose or will I be assigned one?

Anything else I need to think of? I have 2 mutuelles (mine and DH's) so I think I'm fairly well covered but will need to check small text.

It's stressing me out - I know it's stupid but I'm blaming my pregnancy brain!

Also need to work out when I tell work - I'm assuming once I have had a 12 week scan? That's always assuming they do the scan at 12 weeks in France. Argh! I'm driving myself crazy!

Congratulations on your pregnancy! don't stress - it's natural to feel daunted, but you will work it all out :)

Don't know about Paris I'm afraid, but what you say sounds fine. I know you do have to register very quickly with the clinics in Paris though.

If you have a mutuelle then you should be able to choose, though the private clinics may have some 'dépassements d'honoraires' that your mutuelle won't cover

Also be aware that in general birth in France is a lot more medicalised than in the UK. Totally depends what kind of birth you want (and you may not know just yet!) but if you think you prefer a more natural birth then some clinics (and gynecologists) are more open to that than others. My SIL went to one in Paris starting with L but I can't remember the name at the moment!

The private clinics seem to have really nice facilities generally - in mine you could pay a bit more to have a private room with tv, phone and bathroom and it was great.

Also, although most people see a gynecologist for all the visits, you can choose to be followed by a midwife as well. I went to the gynecologist a couple of times (early on and at about 7 months I think) but did the monthly checkups with a midwife. This was covered by social security and a lot more mum-focused - the gyne seemed totally focused on baby's health (and had a two-hour wait every time, often in stifling temperatures), whereas the midwife was also interested in how I was feeling about the whole thing.

Thanks Weta that helps a lot.

I know in France you tend to stay in hospital/clinic for longer (5 days in the case of most DH's friends' wives) so a private room would be nice

Not sure about what type of birth I want, although atm I'm not so bothered about a very "natural" one. Birthing pools sound good but if I do that does that mean I can't have an epidural? I'm sooo naive!

Good to know that I can also be followed by a midwife - your experience with a midwife sounds very positive!

It may be different in Paris, but my experience was that anything "natural" was very strongly discouraged - I had DS1 in the UK in a pool & when I asked for the same with DS2 I was dealt with very firmly & told in no uncertain terms "In France, we have our babies in hospital, and we have epidurals!" (I didn't) don't worry too much at this early stage (easy to say) try and find a midwife you are happy with and congratulations!

You could always join message www.messageparis.org they have a forum where you can ask about hospitals/midwives etc (it's ile-de-france / paris-based and they have lists of medical personnel, etc.). I've found it quite useful in various personal situations.
Congrats and good luck

Congratulations!

I also live in 17th and know mothers who have given birth in any number of hospitals and cliniques all over Paris. If you want a natural birth, don't go to the American Hospital in Neuilly. See a gynaecologist, and then ask him/her for a recommendation for an obstetrician for the sort of birth you want.

Congrats!

Les bluets in Paris is supposed to be the most natural but water births are virtually unheard of and epidurals are standard. If you want a natural pregnancy/birth I highly recommend 'attendre bebe autrement' which gives you a good idea what is and isn't possible.

I'm currently being followed by a MW rather than a gynae but had to be signed over to them.

3 scans - 12, 22 and 34ish. If you have specific questions I'm going through it right now so it's very fresh in my mind but sadly am not in Paris.

Message is really good for knowledgeable English-speaking breast feeding support!

I don't think you could have a birthing pool AND an epidural as epidural will require you to stay in bed pretty much. But then you probably wouldn't need a pool as the epidural should cut out the pain, right?

My experience was that birthing pools were pretty much unheard-of - some mention was made of a bath but I went to the clinic as late as possible so it wasn't an option at that stage.

But if you want an epidural you'll be fine - that's what everyone seems to do in France. The problem is more if you decide you'd rather avoid one if you can, as they aren't very good at offering any alternatives in terms of pain relief.

I agree that now is not the time to get too worked up about it all, but it's good to be aware of the differences as the obstetrician you choose will dictate the approach used.

Go and see a gynecologist, then go and sign up at the hospital. MWs will follow your pg, you'll have an appointment every 6 weeks/month.

Births are , indeed, rather medicalised, you're strapped to all sorts of monitors, so can't move about. Fine if you have epidural, less good if you need to deal with the pain.

Les Bluets is supposed to be very good, I know they were thinking of closing down the maternity ward , I'm not sure whether they did or not.

I gave birth in Hopital Saint-Antoine in the 12th, as it's 10 minutes walk away from me. It's a good hospital and maternity ward has been recently renovated. The rest of the hospital is a bit grim, though, and the labour room wasn't very cheerful, tbh, not that I actually cared. Midwives v.nice. Stay after birth-yes, 4 or 5 days, I shared the room, but the first girl was moved for some reason and the next one only stayed a night as she had a cs so was moved to a private room, I think, so for 3 days I was alone.

Good luck.

The two pro natural places in paris are les bluets and clinique des lilas. I gave birth at Andre Mignot near Versailles, it's a public hospital but it gave me all my choices re pain relief, medical intervention etc. No birth pool though. Other hospitals are less open to this approach. Book your space now, that's really important. Got to get a baby to sleep so can't write more now but will post more later if I think of other useful stuff.

Thanks everyone this is very reassuring!

I will check out the message site.

Sounds like an epidural is pretty standard here - not too fussed to be honest. Maybe it's better to have less choice - makes it easier!

Will have a look at the various clinics/hospitals mentionned.

This is sooo overwhelming!!

Thanks again

I had a lovely (English) gynecologist who was at the time (2002) at the British hospital in Levallois. Her name was Dr Bach.

Don't know if she is still there though.

Dr Bache is really lovely and still works in Paris, but not as an ob-gyn. She is a GP working in the 17th. But she would definitely be a good person to consult if you were in need of talking through the French way of giving birth in English with someone who really knows the system.

Les Lilas is the one my SIL went to, and I know she was very happy with it - her friends recommended it and she booked in as soon as she found out she was pregnant.

The other thing is that some clinics will be more or less supportive of breastfeeding (generally less so than in UK I think though - I went to one that was supposedly fairly supportive but still had to stand my ground pretty strongly to avoid having to give formula supplements). The more 'natural' ones are likely to be better at this, if it's important to you.

Wrt epidural. They'll assume you want one but you can write a birth plan - projet de naissance - or just tell them if you'd like to try without. You also get offered gas and/or a suppository (there's nothing a suppository can't cure in France) for pain relief. Understand what you say about less choice being easier sometimes. For much of my labour I didn't feel I needed an epidural and they respected that but you could tell they didn't have much experience with it and weren't able to give me much guidance or help with positions etc
I liked staying in hospital for 4 days after. The food was bizarre (prunes in red wine for a bfing mum?). But having the midwives show you how to bathe baby and coming in to help you get a screaming baby on the boob in the middle of the night was really useful.

You're also routinely prescribed pelvic floor physio starting 6 weeks after giving birth which I've found really helpful.

ifaistos - I presume the prunes were to help with constipation, which is a known post-partum + hospital food problem. And the alcohol in the red wine would have all evaporated in the cooking.

I think that the issue of positions for natural birthing is a real issue in France. I had an active labour (in England) - not sure what most French maternités would have thought of that!

Thanks for all your replies - makes me feel less alone!

Went to see my gynacologist this morning (a new one as my usual on is in Reuil Malmaison - too far for regular visits). Found her on the internet and am very pleased with my choice! A lovely lady.

Anyway, blood tests tomorrow morning. Have to book my 12 week scan ASAP. Also have to register at a "maternité" ASAP after my blood tests tomorrow.

She has given me a list of recommended places but highly recommends the Franco-Britannique hospital in Levallois. Very close to where I live plus when she asked what my accent is she was thrilled as apparently the British get priority....

It's funny because I have to do a lot ASAP and then nothing will happen for a couple of months. Just keep fingers crossed that everything goes well. She did warn me not to get too carried away until I hit the 12 week mark.

Sounds good - all the English women I know who have given birth in Paris have done so at the Franco-Britannique in Levallois and say good things about it. I used to take DD to the paediatrician there but I wouldn't particularly recommend that - it always seemed to end up taking all afternoon. Dr Bache is a great GP for English-speaking littlies and their breast feeding, co-sleeping, not-by-the-French-rulebook mothers!

FluffyDonkey - good luck with the tests and scan, hope it all goes well. Excellent you've found a nice gynaecologist.

Bonsoir - I get the constipation bit but the prunes tasted incredibly alcoholic. Believe me, the alcohol had not evaporated.

Positions is definitely an issue. I checked at my hospital what they thought about different positions, and was assured that I could do whatever I liked and whatever helped me best. And while the staff were indeed happy to let me do what I wanted, they didn't have the experience to suggest positions or help me with them, the onus was entirely on me to suggest and decide. And 20 hrs into labour we discussed whether I wanted an epidural and they didn't mention the important fact that with the epidural I wouldn't be able to move into many positions to push, despite me saying it was very important I be able to push effectively. So they definitely lack experience in that department.

Overall, though, I really liked giving birth in Paris. I felt very reassured.

Congratulations on you pregnancy fluffydonkey! x

From my experience of pregnancy and birth in France, pregnancy is treated very medically, you will have little choice but they are very thorough - I had lots more tests, scans and check-ups than my cousin who was pregnant at the same time in the UK.

I was pregnant for a bit in England and then finished my pregnancy and gave birth to my first child in Hopital Foch, Suresnes. We chose this hospital because in the past DH worked there and was always impressed by the staff. It certainly isn't cosy and you feel a little bit like you have stepped back in time in terms of decor... but I found the dr and midwives confidence and certainty very reassuring. The transforming bed to respectfully support me to get me into good positions was impressive . To be honest I was a very very nervous first timer but thanks to Hopital Foch I had the best birth experience I could have asked for.

Do keep us updated with how you are getting on.

Thanks everyone. And thanks for the congratulations. We're thrilled about the pregnancy and hope it lasts!

Bonsoir - that's good to know! I've sent off my request to register at Levallois, they'll ring me back within 3 days.

Did my blood tests this morning - with a reassuringly horrible snooty French receptionist - plus ça change!

Also have booked my first scan for 21st March.

I can't wait to hit the 3 month mark so we can ask all our friends about everything to do with birth in France. The list of things we don't know is endless!

Where to buy furniture
How to deal with the CAF and Sécu
Antenatal classes
Pay once maternity leave has finished (I want to stay with the baby until she/he is 6 or 7 months which is of course longer than the maternity leave my work will pay for)
....

It's takes a while to get your head around things.

DH is French but not much use with the baby stuff (yet) . He doesn't know half the vocabulary for baby related things!

Spent a lovely hour last night cuddling a gorgeous 4 month old baby girl. For the first time I wasn't jealous because I know I'm pregnant

Where to buy furniture
www.natalys.fr is a good start (bit like mamas and papas in the UK - you can get everything there. There's also toys'r'us but I don't like their stuff so much.
CAF and SECU
You won't get any family allowance until you have two kids but it's worth registering with just one as you can get money towards childcare if you work (says she who didn't know this and didn't get anything!)
You need to inform SECU that you are pregnant before about 14 weeks. Your GP should have the forms, or the hospital.
Antenatal classes are usually offered by the hospital or you can do with with a midwife (you just have to get an entente prealable if I remember correctly so that they are covered by SECU). If you are in Paris you might also be able to find haptonomie or sophrologie if you fancy something like that.
After maternity leave you can go onto conge parentale. Whether or not you are eligible depends on how long you worked before you were pregnant (I wasn't! but I'm sure someone else on here can advise you).

Congrats Fluffydonkey!

I found baby furniture horribly expensive here - Ikea is well worth a look! Also like Vertbaudet catalogue for clothes and equipement but tended to pick most things up in Autour de Bebe.

I'd just like to say, I have had two children in France (74) and while they overwhelmed me with medical tests, I found the midwives in the public hospital very helpful, very encouraging with a drug free birth and no issue with an active birth (if by that you mean being allowed boing on the ball, walk around etc). Yes I was monitored but only for short bursts.

With DS I had some nubin (some kind of opiate) and an epidural at 8cm while with DD I was totally encouraged by the midwife to try without epdirual, had a lovely herbal bath and gave birth on all fours, helped by the midwife all the time. I then paid the princely sum of 30E a night for a private room. Both great experiences. Ask around to find the hospital that best suits your needs.

I was also followed to 7 months by my medicin traitant. You don't have to go the gyne / epidural route if you don't want to.

If you want really romantic nursery furniture, you can go to Baudou. It's fantastically well designed and expensive BUT it has all sorts of clever stuff that evolves and you can basically use their stuff from 0-15 years old.

We buy DD one piece of furniture per year (joint birthday/Christmas from parents and both sets of grandparents) and she has a lovely room.

Oh yes, meant to add. I was followed to 7 months by the midwife at the local PMI, which was absolutely fine - and completely free (didn't have secu sorted out at that point). So that's another option.