Anyone NOT miss Britain?

[anonymosity]

I sometimes think about sound of crows hovvering and then landing in a field in suffolk on a misty morning, or the sound of church bells, or the smell and heat of a really good sushi place in Soho on a winter's day, but otherwise I just don't feel anything at all about the UK other than the fact that loved ones are still there. Anyone else ambivalent?

We are skiing for the first time this year. Very exciting :) It's not something I would have dreamed about doing in the UK, but here everyone goes, and we have two hills within a 45 min drive (one little family hill and the other world class - we're going to the former!). We've a relative coming over from the UK this Christmas, so we're going to try and do lots of winter stuff with him, including ice fishing if we can persuade a friend with a chainsaw (for going through the ice) to take us out. We've decided that the real mark of being Canadian (perhaps just from BC, or even from rural BC lol) is keeping a chainsaw permanently in your truck (just in case).

my life in the US is way better than i had in the UK. not just in material terms wither.

i do get vv homesick sometimes, but after the last visit i was glad to get back here.

i like

big, beautiful home in safe neighbourhood with excellent schools.
good group of friends.
just generally, a more positive attitude, it's far more 'have a go' than in the uk.
more daylight, esp. in winter. there's less hours of daylight in summer, but lots warmer. having bright skies in winter is not to be underestimated.
space - not just a big house, but when you go outside, it's not horribly crowded, there's countryside right there, actually in my back yard.
really lovely local city - a few hundred years old, good cultural things, good shops etc.

there are things i miss about the uk, but i am able to get home within 12 hours so i don't feel too cut off. i did miss the crowds & busyness when we first moved, but not any more.

apart from family, i do miss london (but chicago isn't too far) & the really old stuff - i used to live in york, so medieval is 'normal' to me.

oh, and we've been on some amazing 'vacations' here - horse back riding through wyoming? fantastic.

Kickass - I want to go on a horseriding holiday in Wyoming! It's one of the things I plan to do once the dd's are old enough (stranded starts saving....)

Actually it's not that I am homesick for England so much as that I miss my life there. I had a lovely life at home, we live in a nice community. we had good friends all close to us, the schools and preschools were good, we could walk or take the bus to lots of shops, parks etc easily. There was also more things for me to do - here I can't get a work permit even if I was likely to get a job. At home I can at least start planning the next stage of my life, training course or work or whatever. Here I am just in limbo.

It doesn't help that we were never going to be here for long so have never invested anything of myself in this place.

So yes, I miss the shops, tv, newspapers etc - but if I was truely happy here I don't think they would feature so much in my thoughts.

(Only 5 days to go....)

interesting to read ... been lurking as I move to NZ in just under 5 weeks!

I agree, the "have a go" attitude is excellent.

I haven't been back to the UK for nearly five years, and I don't really miss anything apart from my friends. And eccles cakes. And vimto. And the pub near my old house everyone knew each other and said hi when anyone walked in.

I haven't deliberately not been back, it's just that the opportunity hasn't come up, and I feel that as I'm living here now, and Britain is part of my past life so there's no point going back and forth.

That said I'm sure I'll cry if I ever make it back to Liverpool

those of you who don't go back for years at a atime, how does that affect family relationships?

mine seem to think we can 'pop' over once a year or more, and mil (who refuses to fly who come by boat, even if we pay & arrange insurance), doesn't understand why we don't go back twice a year, stay longer AND manage a trip to belfast as well.

i also hate that dd is growing up not knowing her cousins - they all adore each other, so i wish they could spend more time together.

or should i just accept that this will never happen & look to friendships here to fill the gap?

My parents come over to see us about twice a year - it's only an hour flight so they can. Dh's parents are in north Africa and cannot afford the trip to see us, and Dh won't go home until he has "made his life" in Europe. I don't understand his POV, but it seems quite common amongst his friends from his home country.

I think if you don't go home a lot you sort of make a small family for yourself out of who you have with you (or get your relatives to move over with you, sometimes).

I think that you have to look for friendships to fill the gap really. We've not been home since we left the UK, and just can't afford to now, as it costs so much for the four of us. We are visiting next summer, but only because my parents are paying. That's my only regret really.

My parents are of the opinion that we should spend our money on having holidays together out here and that they can come and visit us. Dh's parents do not share that unfortunately, but are substantially better off. I guess that means I will be traipsing back to the UK on my own with 3 at 5 and under next summer. A closer international airport would be a definite bonus! You moved over for your job, didn't you nooka? What is it you do again? [nosy emoticon]

it's not easy for either set of parents to travel, and mine are fairly understanding (and would help pay if need be) but dh's just haven't a clue & hit us with emotional blackmail each time. they just think that cos we've got as far as england, it's not much more effort to 'pop over' to ireland (this from the woman who refuses to go).

there was some talk of my sis coming over to us, but now her dh's co is maybe going under so they have no money.

i have a good group of friends here, but still miss going round to my sis's & her just running off to play with the cousins.

i guess a few more years may well change things anyway.

oh, and dh's mum is of the opinion that we shouldn't spend time or money on holidays here, as we need to go home to see her.

she would be one of the things we don't miss from the UK.

My parents came over last year and we had a great holiday. This summer they did the same for my sister in Australia. Unfortunately my siblings just can't afford to visit. It was all right when we were in New York (we had my brother and family and dh's sister and family the summer we were there which was great) but it's just too expensive and too far now. I thought it might be easier to visit my sister in Australia, but it was actually more expensive than going from the UK! Even when we planned to drive down to LA to meet here (Aussie flights are even more expensive than Canadian ones it seems).

We moved from the UK to the US for dh's job (an intracompany transfer) and then when they decided to close the office he'd transferred to (after three months!!) we thought we'd attempt to move to BC/Alberta and dh amazingly found a job (in fact he was offered two jobs) just where we wanted to live. Sadly he then lost it 8 days after he started work ... But then luckily I got a new job a few days after that. So alls well that ends well really. Except that my job now feels very boring and unchallenging and there aren't many others in my town (I'm a corporate risk manager).

My parents paid for my brother and his family to come and visit last year which was wonderful. It was so nice that all the cousins could play together even though his boys are older than my dcs. It would be fantastic to get them together more often but that is not going to happen realistically. That is

Wow, nooka that must have been a roller coaster ride. I think I would have been beside myself with worry.

Is your MIL one of those people who can't see past the end of their own noses? How did she manage to produce your dh?

mil refuses to fly & seems to be stuck in the 1970s when you could just book a flight & roll up. she used to stick dh onto a plane each summer to go to ireland & stay with his gran (while she had her own holiday), and hasn't really adjusted her ideas of flying to be in line with current security, prices etc.

she produced dh, but other people did most of the looking after, is how we explain things. though there are times he is not so wonderful.

There are times when I'm not so wonderful too! My dh is so not like his mother, not vain, not snobbish, not at all easy to offend, not self-centred, but is very like his Dad. He had a mid-life crisis which didn't go all that well and I've pre-warned dh he is not to do that as I've never prevented him doing anything he wanted.

MIL can get on the ferry then, no?

mil gets on a ferry to ireland about once every couple of years. but she expects me to 'pop over' there for a day when i'm back in the uk.

she is very Set In Her Ways, she even said once 'oh, we do try new things, but usually find that we don't like them'. She has been like this for as long as dh can remember, and she's only 19 years older than him.

I miss it- I'm from Wales so I miss being right in the middle of the mountains, . There are lots of mountains where I live and I can see them but I have to drive to be in them

I miss the pubs- sunday drives

The humour, sunday dinners, fish and chips, the unpredictability of British daily life

I miss the food, The BRitish aren'T the best cooks but the raw ingredients (bread, milk butter) are the most delicious in the entire world

So MIL is not the one living in NI, just some of the rest of dh's family? She really can jog on then!

On the plus side

WHen I'm returning from a visit to the U.K I do feel like I've come home when I see the sea of green mountains and the men standing like robots on the tarmac of the airport waving in unison to greet the plane

I don'T miss the inequalities of the U.K: there are some really deprived areas, unecessarily so because Britain is one of the richest countries in the world. Japan manages to redistribute its wealth quite well. Everyone's got roughly the same amount of money, and frequent the same restaurants and shops.

I also get the feeling life was a lot harder in the U.K

I found that when I visited in February people could be so negative about the country and its situation: it's all going to the dogs and we'll never be able to do this, that and the other kind of attitude. I don't get it, because though I don't live there anymore, I still think it's a great country and I love it.

I think the media is to blame.
The amount of people (including my brother) who feel they have to be eternally grateful that they've even got a job confounds me.
I think the mass media there is getting out of control there TBH, it seems to be invading everyone's lives, and you can't escape it. It's almost as though the population is being demoralised

I tend to agree with you sakura - the prevalence of programmes such as the Wright Stuff where everything is debated to death doesn't help either. It's such a shame as the UK has so much going for it.