ok, this was meant to be 6 months, now 2 yrs+, am 40-something trailing spouse,what now for us/my career or lack of??Also getting BLOODY homesick!!

[ExpatAgain]

rant over. sorry, had enough really so far from home, not got skype working yet, at rejection/anger/irritation/whatever cycle of culture shock I should imagine and finding it all rather shallow, hard, meaningless and lonely..And it was meant to be such an exciting adventure ... Losing sleep over all this, not sure whether we're doing right thing in staying longer, dh is black & white about these things and "loves it" and things I should "live in the moment", rather belittling any concerns I have. Kids been homesick on & off and also got some safety concerns/making friends issues..VV worried about steppping out from my career for 2 yrs, not got right to work here.. am keeping busy with sports/helping at school etc but still desperately lonely, to be honest, even when with people, even dh and getting fed up of not knowing how things work, forgetting who people are, not knowing basics etc etc.

Ruthchan, we haven't even discussed arrangements for Xmas day yet, but maybe a get together might not be a bad thing. I have vaguely suggested going out for lunch followed by trip to the Xmas market......

Oh yes, my mum was really stranded, in Havana in the 1960's. Letters from home via the Dip bag once a week and that was it. Couldn't fly anywhere. Nothing in the shops. No restaurants, TV, any entertainment at all really. I honestly do not know how she coped. I guess that's why she had so many children (although her first was in Belgium and her fourth back in the UK).

Even when we were growing up, they were posted overseas, and we were at boarding school, we wouldn't see or speak to them for months on end.

Things are certainly easier now. But I agree that it makes it harder when you are not staying somewhere permanently.

Yes, things could certainly be a lot harder. I had rubbish to no internet access my first year here - now it's a lifeline. Especially having recently found MN!

I'm actually enjoying the Xmas build-up here. It's predominantly Muslim (forgot to say where I am: North Africa, unstable country!), so there's no festive overload. Today we had a sudden holiday announced, so we listened to carols and made paper chains, which was great. I'm making mincemeat now... On Xmas day, we'll have all our friends over and enjoy Xmas food from around the world. I'd definitely recommend being with friends if you can't be with family.

What are your Xmas plans, ExpatAgain?

LostinAfrica - I am guessing you are in a country beginning with A?

you're not the only one who feels like that, and actually i think 2 years is pretty much the worst amount of time - long enough to get really homesick, but just as you start to feel settled, you're off again. i've lived in the US for just over 2 years. it's only in the last few months that i have started to feel settled.

dh & dd love a quiet christmas at home, but i grew up with a big family & miss all the noise & chaos. in fact, i'm really not looking forward to dd having 2 weeks off school - it'll be too cold to go out & lots of people go to visit family, so we end up on our own a lot. when she's in school i keep v busy, but she gets bored with me doing chores/painting etc, so then i do things with her & I get bored.

where we live here is way nicer than we could ever have in the UK, but still i have a little pang for home at times.

thank goodness i now have a green card & am hoping to get some work in the new year.

Sorry, didn't see this before. Nope, stranded, country begins with S.

Angel, so glad to hear someone say it takes two years even to start to feel settled. I guess most people who uproot themselves regularly choose to do so, but for those of us who didn't choose it, to take that long to settle in is a bit of a misfortune, isn't it?

Hope the packing's going well, stranded!

Need to find a map, I thought I was pretty good with Africa...Sudan? Where's that?

Any Bruxellois or nearby are welcome at our house around Christmas. We've rarely experienced a Christmas with extended family. This year we may plan a Belgian dinner on Christmas eve, eating leftovers on Christmas day. We are planning to go to Plaisirs d'Hiver in the afternoon of Christmas day.