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Living overseas

Whether you're considering emigrating or an expat abroad, you'll find likeminds on this forum.

leise rieselt der Schnee - for all those lovely people in Germany and Austria or whoever wants to join us!

901 replies

Canella · 22/11/2010 13:56

a new wintery thread in honour of Hupa's first snow of the season!

OP posts:
admylin · 24/01/2011 10:37

I think the old DDR system has stayed on abit in east Germany. When I lived in the south west alot of mums stayed at home, school ended at 12 or even 11:30 am and Kita and Hort places were rare, long waiting lists.

When we moved to Berlin I was really surprised to see only a couple of mums in dd's class were still at home. All the other dc stayed at Hort.

So pleased to know it isn't only me with the speaking to doctors phobia! Still not sure how I'm going to word it. I've got a week and more to plan though. Bananas, how do you do it? Do you plan it all then get interrupted half way through too? Wonder if the doc would cope if I said can you let me finish?! We're going to a child psychologist who we've never met but they should be good at listening shouldn't they? I realyl hope the Schulpsychologin helps your dd bananas.

2 is young to start Kiga isn't it? There's one across the back of our house and I see the little cuties in the playground, so small! Ds went at age 3 but only in the afternoons as the bigger morning group was too much for him. He went from 2 til 4 then later at age 4 from 9 til 12. Dd tried it when she was 3 but it traumatised her (and me) so we stopped and tried again when she was 4. She enjoyed it but spent a whole year not speaking a word!

bebemoohatessnot · 24/01/2011 11:38

Confused you guys have doctor phobias and you've been living there...I'm Doomed! Doomed! Wink

We're finishing the last tidying things...dh decided he needed to do the floor in the loft this weekend Hmm so we're behind as I've been struggling a bit. Went to the GP here to get my iron checked as I'm feeling way too off even for a preggy woman. I'll not have the results until Wednesday when I get my scan too, but if I am I can get some pills before we go to tide my over until I get into the system over there. In the mean time I'm trying to eat anything iron rich foods. We've not planned specific places to stop; dh wanted to at first but I reminded him abt the road trip we had this summer in America and how you just can't plan it too much with a toddler. You never know when they're just going to have enough of sitting in a car seat. So Thursday we're going to drive to the ferry port and then take the ferry Friday morning and then do the drive over the next 2 days. Should be easy enough only 5 hours of driving needed per day.
We're very excited. :)

Canella hope the hand is sorted for you today.

Hope everyone else has a lovely day... I think I see a little blue sky... and once my headache goes I should be able to get my dh to stop playing with his toys camera and help do things. Wink

Canella · 24/01/2011 12:03

Bebe - make sure you take some euros in cash with you - i just presumed i could get cash out an ATM but there were never any at the service stations i stopped at so by the time i found one i was starving!! sounds like you've got a good plan for making it as leisurely as it can be with a toddler in the car!

Got the plaster off this morning - and no-one asked me for any money!!!! I'd never been to this hospital before but i was very impressed - the facilities were much swisher looking than the hospital i'd been to originally.
So he said the xray looks good and healed but my hand is still achey now its out the plaster. I'm sure i just need to start using it gently over the next few days and it'll get better. Also need to get industrial strength moisturiser - its schockingly dry! looks like peeling sunburn without the redness! But glad the worst of it is all over - hope its a while before i need to use the hospital again! Thanks for all ur support!

OP posts:
Canella · 24/01/2011 12:04

now where is that silkenladder till i find out if dh was right??!!? his mind works in troubled ways!

OP posts:
silkenladder · 24/01/2011 12:56

Canella yep that sounds about right. I'm quite intrigued too to know just how close you might be to here. Can you give me a hint or just say, if you're less irrationally worried about being stalked on MN Smile?

LinzerTorte · 24/01/2011 13:01

Your DH's fetish thoughts have given me ideas, Canella. Wink The numberplate I'm thinking of would be in the right area (had to google it, I must confess - yes I know, do I have nothing better to do? Grin), although I wouldn't have thought it was dodgy if I'd seen it. Come back and put us out of our misery silkenladder!

You must be relieved to have the plaster off now anyway; glad to hear your hand has healed well.

I wouldn't say I have a doctor phobia, but I'm another one who likes to know exactly what I'm going to say before I go for my appointment. If it's a particularly tricky appointment for one of the DC, I'll get DH to go (I got him to take DD1 to the dentist's when she had her tooth extracted too - not because I didn't know what to say but because I didn't want my anxiety to rub off on her!) or otherwise I'll ask him beforehand what I should say. That reminds me that I need to do so before Thursday, when DS is back at the Lungenfachärztin - DH is also more up on which medicines seem to be helping DS more.

bebe If you are anaemic, it's a good idea to get iron tablets before you go - if Germany is anything like Austria, you'll need to go to a doctor to get a prescription for higher-strength iron tablets, whereas you can get ferrous sulphate tablets over the counter in the UK.

bananas Glad to hear your DD is going to school OK again; I hope your appointment with the Schulpsychologin is helpful.

hupa · 24/01/2011 16:48

Canella - glad you´ve got the plaster off. I´ve always found Neutrogena hand cream to be really good and it´s fairly cheap.

admylin - could you write a list of the most important points. At least that way you hopefully won´t come out and realise you forgot to say something important, which I know is what tends to happen to me.

silkenladder - welcome, I´m another one whose dh is a doctor.
I must admit I don´t know a single mum who works full time - most are SAHMs and a few work part time. I live in a rural area and when I had dd 8 years ago there was a report which said in our Landkreis there were 230 dc aged under 3 and only one registered Tagesmutter. As dc couldn´t start kiga before 3 it was impossible to work unless you had family living close by and willing to help. Things have improved since then, but it´s still not ideal.

bebe - you must be so stressed at the minute. Have you got a portable dvd player? We´ve found ours a life saver on long journeys.

There´s a horrible virus doing the rounds here at the moment. DD´s been ill since the weekend and today only 11 out of 20 children in her class were at school. Her class teacher, maths teacher and trainee teacher were also ill. I think it´s just a question of time before ds will be ill.

bananasananas · 25/01/2011 08:06

admylin - I make mental notes (sometimes also written down) of what I want to say and make sure they come out at some point. I have never been able to get it all out without interruputions, but that is fine, because the dr was asking for more information. I just let that bit of the conversation finish and then get back to my "agenda" by saying something like "there is also something else that I think is important for you to know". In fact I have to look up a lot of words for my visit on Thursday...I find some words will just not go into my head...like the word for "ambitious", I recognise it when I hear it but I have never seen it written down and so can´t say it. Does/did that happen to all of you or is my German learning doomed?

Linzer - hope the dr appointment goes well. have you got lots of snow in B? Lots coming down here.

canella- good that the plaster is off, and hope you regain movement slowly. I also second Neutrogena...though only the unperfumed one. I don´t like the smell of the other one, and DH hates it.

hupa - fingers crossed on the virus front. Sounds like a lot of people coming down with it.

bebe - sounds like a good plan to take it easy and see how far you get in a day. 5 hours a day sound doable. We have used Etap hotels on those kinds of trips, cheap and clean. Though no luxuries and the locations leave something to be desired at times...

Right off on a school outing with DD1 class...I am keen to go and see what is going on in the class re friendships. One mother says her daughter comes home in tears every day due to another girl. There are only 6 girls in the class and two are very strong willed and do not get on. Do you dc tell you about this sort of thing? I tried to ask DD1 and she refuse to say anything and said I was being "nosey". hmmmm... I guess I was...

admylin · 25/01/2011 08:14

Morning. Sorry to hear your dd has been ill hupa, it's virus season isn't it. My dc haven't had it but quite alot of teachers have been absent. The dc keep turning up at home at 11am - last 2 lessons cancelled!

Linzer, can you remember what the testing was like to confirm your dd's dyslexia? What sort of things does she do at her weekly lessons?

Wow, good luck on Thursday bebe. Hope the journey goes smoothly. You come across as very calm and organised considering!

Canella, how is life with 2 hands? Could you imagine working in a German hospital later? You worked for NHS in UK didn't you? Did your dh go any further with finding out about you working again?

Bananas, how did your dd manage school yesterday? Is she happy when you collect her? My dd had to write a poem about the Summer and how it feels, smells and looks (3 verses) - it took her ages but in the end the result was very good. She was planning on getting up at 6am to read them over so she'd be able to read them in class.

Some good news last night - our niece who lives in Bangladesh has been offered a 12,000 euro a year, 3 year scholarship for a private university in Bremen so she will be arriving in Summer and staying with us for a month to learn German.

admylin · 25/01/2011 08:22

Bananas, I have problems translating - especially with dd, being anxious and worrying go with her selective mutism but when I try to translate anxious it sounds wrong in German (to me anyway).

My dc tell me some of what's going on in class but sometimes I hear different versions. For example ds says a certain boy is always talking and messing about in class, but when that boy came here the other day he told me that the boy next to him is the trouble maker and always talking to him and bothering him. Made him sound all innocent so not sure which version is correct!

Dd is in a group of 4 girls who up to now have never had a fall out and a couple of other girls would like to be friends with dd but the other 3 in her group don't like them so she is abit torn!

LinzerTorte · 25/01/2011 08:27

Are you going anywhere nice on the school outing, bananas? DD1 is quite excited because her class is going to the local history museum next week - they haven't been out much at all this (academic) year, so any kind of trip is quite exciting.

DD2 will tell me a little more about school than DD1 does, but usually only if I let her tell me in her own time - I don't get much out of her if I ask directly. It's normally only things like who was late for school because they slept in, though; she didn't tell me that she'd been bitten by one of the boys in her class, for example (I found that out from a friend of hers).

I should really make notes when I go to the doctor's as there's always something I forget to ask during the appointment. There are certain words that I stumble over too - I couldn't remember once whether bösartig had an umlaut or not (really should have known, as it comes from böse) but decided that if I said it wrong but quickly enough, the doctor might not notice! Could you try writing down ehrgeizig 10 times, say, or put it up on a post-it somewhere so that it goes in that way?

Yes, lots of snow here again this morning - DH's snow shovel had mysteriously disappeared when he went out to clear the path, so he had to use one of the DC's, but it was back outside the front door when I got back from the school run so I suspect one of the neighbours had borrowed it.

Hope your DD is better now hupa and that the rest of you don't come down with it. DD1 and I were both ill with some kind of virus last week; it was the first time that DD1 had ever missed school due to illness, but luckily it was only for one day - her best friend was off the whole week.

hupa · 25/01/2011 08:43

My dd hardly ever tells me anything about what is happening at school. One of her friend´s mum now lets me know if anything important has happened. This was as a result of dd completely failing to tell me about the last German test. She had a whole week´s notice, but didn´t mention it to me until they had done the test.

It´s snowing on and off here, but not settling at the moment.

Well ds has joined dd at home today. He´s only got a bit of a sore throat, but looks really pale, so I´m waiting to see if it develops into anything worse.

admylin · 25/01/2011 12:27

Dd's last trip out of school was to visit a Sikh gudwara (temple). Some ofthe muslim dc weren't allowed to go which is a shame as they were studying different ways of celebrating in different religions.

Ds's next big one is his skiing/sport trip sometime end of February. Not sure why they do it - as it seems the teachers don't really enjoy it either.

Does anyone know what a Approbationsurkunde (Kopie) is? Dh asked me to fill in a form for some Mitgliedscahft for Neurochirurgie, and they want one!

hupa · 25/01/2011 12:49

admylin - it´s a licence to practice medicine. Doctors obviously have to have them, but I´m not sure your dh will have one if he´s doing research.

admylin · 25/01/2011 13:06

Thanks hupa, after re-reading the form he doesn't need it to join as the Dr.rer.Nat that he is!!

LinzerTorte · 25/01/2011 14:41

Sorry admylin, I x-posted with you earlier and have only just noticed your two posts before mine. I don't know exactly what kind of tests DD1 had when she went to the psychologist's, as DH took her and then left her on her own there for about 1.5 hours for all the tests (which weren't just for dyslexia; we also found out, for example, that she's about a year behind her peers emotionally).

Her dyslexia teacher concentrates on German rather than maths, which she doesn't have any problems with; she has to do things like Bildgeschichten (as she has problems with sequences) and will also practise things that she's struggling with at school, such as direct speech, the past tense (Mitvergangenheit), etc. They also play board and card games (her teacher is a Spielepädagogin as well as a Legasthenietrainerin) and are often playing UNO when I pick DD1 up! I'm not sure how much of a difference it's making but DD1 enjoys it and it's definitely not doing any harm, so we'll carry on sending her while she's at primary school at least.

bebemoohatessnot · 25/01/2011 15:38

delayed our departure until Friday :)

admylin · 25/01/2011 15:57

Thanks Linzer, sounds as if she might not be tested on Friday then - the receptionist didn't ask me any details (about why I was making an appointment at the child psychologist) so if the test takes over an hour then I bet they'll make another appointment.

Anyway, all we want is the Bestätigung really, for school so she has less pressure from the German teacher. Recently she made a great poster to go with a book review and presented it in class but all he could say was, there are too many spelling mistakes on the poster. They don't do praise much here!

How is the packing going bebe? When can you get teh keys to your new flat? Hope all goes well.

LinzerTorte · 25/01/2011 16:17

Well, the psychologist tested DD1 in a number of different areas, so a test just for dyslexia might well not take as long. The test that she did at LOS (not specifically for dyslexia) only took about 15 minutes but didn't really tell us very much. I hope your DD gets the Bestätigung, anyway, so that it takes some of the pressure off her.

bebe It's good that you've got another day to get things organised. Hope the packing is going OK.

bebemoohatessnot · 25/01/2011 16:38

Packing-
I keep setting things aside (in 1 place in the spare room). DH keeps putting them away...
What are you doing?
Cleaning.
Well we're taking that.
I know.
So why are you putting it back in the cupboard/wardrobe/on the shelf when we're just going to have to take it out again?
Because I'm tidying the house so we can vacuum.
Wink
It's going great. Wink Grin :)

silkenladder · 25/01/2011 19:15

LinzerTorte I'm sure you'll have found the right one. Something missing in the middle to make it properly attractive to the sexually deviant!

Hope everyone's had a productive day.

Canella · 25/01/2011 19:57

wow some days this thread moves faster than others!!

Admylin - hope you get some help for your dd - school is tough here but it must be even tougher if there's a possibility she's dyslexic. I wouldnt be surprised if DS1 is dyslexic - he was 6 in October and i've been trying to teach him to read English and he struggles so much to decode lots of words - even if he's seen them 2 lines above. But we'll see how he gets on first once he goes to school in september. Will be watching with interest to see what tests they do with your dd.

Bebe - oh sounds like a bit of stress in your house but thats to be expected when you move in a few days! do you have a lot of stuff to move? are you keeping the house in the UK? Its such an exciting time for you all but mega stressful!

Bananas - how did the school trip go? are things a bit more settled with your dd at the moment? dont worry too much about her not telling you too much about school - i have to drag info out of my dc too! and i remember my father saying it about me as a child!! its just infuriating when they dont tell you about upcoming tests so you could have helped them to revise!!!

Hupa - hope the dc get better soon!! think its the season for bugs to be going round!

been quite a lot of snow here today - didnt think it was going to lie when it started this morning but it was so persistent and there was so fecking much of it that it was bound to lie in the end!! ds1 had a wee friend round this afternoon and when his mum came to pick him up she said it had all frozen and was proper glatt outside!! i'll be like a doddery old women tomorrow! i'm petrified of falling now that i've suffered once!

glad to be able to use both hands again - weirdly nice to be cracking on with all the jobs round the house rather than having to wait for dh to do it! I'm a bit of a tidy freak (after 13 yrs with dh some of his OCD tidyness has rubbed off on me) especially with the kitchen and it was bugging me the last 2 weeks that the kitchen always looked a mess!! but its back to its spotless ways!! (sad housewife emotion!!).

silkenladder - yes i've had a very productive day!! cleaned the whole house this morning & did all the ironing and the washing. Love when i've got it all under control!! shame i'm not so in control of my german homework!! its all about passiv sentences - the last example was
"Das Paket hat gestern nicht mehr abgeholt werden koennen" - way too many verbs in that sentence for me! think i need to be doing a bit more studying to be able to say a sentence like that with all the verbs in the right order!

OP posts:
stickylittlefingers · 25/01/2011 19:59

Hi - I was very excited to be reading all this knowledge re how the medical system works... If anyone is online could they give some advice Smile please?!

We're only in Germany for a short time, so I've got the EHIC card plus single-trip travel insurance (I was thinking broken leg-type emergencies). But now dd1 seems to have a UTI. There is a Hausarzt Praxis just up the road from us, so having read various bits of info re having to go to the AOK first (seems long-winded?) I was thinking I might just pitch up there tomorrow morning and see what can be done on the basis of the EHIC card... Having lived in Ireland for a good while, the idea of just paying out ?50 to get it sorted is not particularly shocking, and tbh I would rather just get it sorted rather than have another long bureaucratic palaver... Am I barking totally up the wrong tree tho?

If it's helpful, I'm in Brandenburg.

LinzerTorte · 25/01/2011 20:22

Hi sticky - sorry, I'm not much help with your question as we're in Austria. I do remember dragging myself along to the AOK when I was living in Berlin and feeling ill, only to discover that because my E111 was over a year old it was considered to have expired, but I was able to go to the doctor's anyway (and got my money back later when my mum had sent me a new E111). Not sure whether that information is very useful and it was a long time ago, but hopefully someone who lives in Germany and knows more about the system will be along soon.

Canella Yes, definitely too many verbs in that sentence! I'm never too sure of the order they should all be in if there's three at the end - we were taught to say, for example, "dass wir das hätten machen können" but DH would say "dass wir das machen hätten können". Not sure whether I'm saying it wrong or whether he's using Austrian grammar!

silken That definitely sounds like what I was thinking of! I shall keep a beady eye out for that numberplate (and astound DH with my knowledge of where it's from - he's normally the numberplate expert).

I've got the English lesson all prepared for tomorrow but am now losing my voice! I'll have to see how it is in the morning, but as I was planning on doing quite a lot of singing with the children I'll probably have to postpone the lesson if my voice is no better then.

stickylittlefingers · 25/01/2011 20:51

cheers Linzer - I think I shall gird my loins (if that's medically possible) to just go straight to the drs tomorrow and see what happens.

Re the verbs - back when I was doing the ZMP, the teacher showed us a sentence with 5 verbs at the end. How impressed I was!! I wrote it down dutifully at the time, but now of course can't remember it. It was a beaut.

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