O du wunderschöner Herbst - life in German and Austria thread

[admylin]

It is a wunderschöner Herbst at the moment isn't it. Lovely sunny bright blue sky with a chill in the air. Shame we're stuck in the house, ds has a flu like virus so the balcony is as far as we'll get.

Wow, canella I envy you. I was rubbish at maths and was always so frustrated when I thought I'd worked a sum out but the answer was wrong. Great to have you with us though, looks like we'll be calling on you öfters!

Well, I didn't even manage to work out how many rabbits she was looking after altogether so failed at the first hurdle!

I struggle to help DD1 with her maths sometimes as it is; it's not the maths itself so much as the way they're taught it, which I'm just not familiar with. I also find it a bit strange that they use an ink pen for maths, which DH can't understand at all (why I find it strange, I mean) - obviously Austrian schoolchildren never make mistakes in their calculations.

LOL---I log in, go to this thread, hit Last page and there is a discussion about Lisa (who is Lisa?) and her rabbits. Thank goodness it all made sense when I read the previous posts, for a minute there I thought you were taking something magical I still had not discovered in Austria or Germany. And I am very glad I was out all day and could not make a total fool of myself...I would probably be asking "what kind of food are they eating and where can I find the recipe?" I am glad my two are on 2-?=0 at the moment. I should print this thread out for future reference.

any novelties on holiday bookings? How is the London plan going Admylin? DH is in the Uk and rang saying how wonderful a weekend in London would be. He said he laughed his head off at the dribble of a shower that went hot-cold-boiling- hot. And was glad he did not have to live with that sort of thing anymore.
Like you Linzer, we cannot imagine living there permanently anymore....We are off to budapest for 3 day over xmas...just for a little change, driving there so easy to sort out.

Echo lack of babysitting ops and how rubbish that is. I envy the families round here that have active GPs who will just take the kids out or whatever....

Glad to hear you are feeling better canella.Have you decided what you are protecting your fab new table with yet?

Had a bit of an exhausting day with 2 hours private german lessons (found a fab, and pretty cheap teacher) and then 2.5 hours of a systematishes aufstellung (sp?) related to dd bedwetting. Rather tiring to do it all in german and try to sort out the issues at the same time. So, gute Nacht und bis Morgen.

Morning all,

Have just come back from the madness that is Hofer on a Thursday morning, but at least I was only looking for hot water bottles for the DC (not in hot demand - no pun intended) and slippers for myself; it seems to be children's clothes and shoes that everyone flocks towards.

What's a systematische Aufstellung, bananas? I was talking about bedwetting on another thread yesterday, as all of mine were quite late being dry at night (DS still isn't and we still lift DD2). After the nightmare I had getting DD1 out of nappies during the daytime, however, I wasn't too bothered if she/they took a little longer at night. Hope you get it all sorted out soon, anyway.

Ah, dribbling showers - happy memories. DH couldn't get over the fact that my parents had separate hot and cold taps, not to mention a carpet in the bathroom - things have improved since they moved house, though!

Am feeling a bit under the weather today, as if I've got a cold coming; I had a really sore throat yesterday so have been dosing myself up with echinacea. Have just bought some zinc from DM as that's supposed to be good for the immune system - I'd been meaning to get some for a while as the Vorsorgeuntersuchung blood tests showed I'm low in zinc, but it took this (threatening) cold to remind me about it!

I've got zink too Linzer. Dh swears by hot water and vitamin C (not with the hot water) when he feels a cold coming and it helps as he's rarely ill (thank goodness because when he is ill it's as if he's dying)

News from our crazy landlady. Came in today from shopping and there was a big bright yellow message on the board at the bottom of the stairs with DRINGEND written on it and then a list where we all have to write the name, address and phone number of the person who has our key for emergencies.

Somehow I don't think it's right that she wants this NOW. I mean it's up to us if we leave a spare key somewhere and when we go away (not often) we wouldn't leave it with the same person every time, not that we leave it with anyone anyway. There is a clause in the Mietvertrag that says you have to leav ethe key if you go away though, still not sure she needs the addresses now.

Surely it's not the landlady's business who you leave your spare key with? We were never asked to provide that information in all our years of renting (although maybe some landlords had a master key?). I can see why they might need the spare key for emergency access while you're away, but mightn't it become a security issue if there's a list up (even if just for a few days) with the details of all the spare key holders? And yes, surely a phone number should be enough. She sounds very controlling.

It does sound very controlling, and that she needs it straight away is weird. Take your time to respond... or just say you leave it with different people depending on who is around when you go away...

Linzer, hope you can beat that cold...we are also an echinacea, vit c and Zinc family (we buy that Cetebe with Zinc).

I think a systematische Aufstellung can take many forms, in this case it was about seeing the dynamics of our family life. It was just me there,(and the person leading it) and the other members of the family were symbolised by slippers. I had to get into my slippers, place myself in the room, say how I felt etc then get into Dh slippers, and into how he would feel, what he would say to me, what I would say to him. And so on for the other members of the family. Now, I have never ever done something like this before, and in fact the woman asked to go more with my feelings and feel the situation at one point, but it was interesting. I am not meant to talk about it for a few days, just let the feelings sink in. hmmmm... Will it help with bedwetting? I am not sure. I have lifted dd ever since she stopped wearing nappies at night when she was 5.2 so quite late compared to other children,but then I looked at the stats on the ERIC website and it made me think I should not worry. Anyway, finally seeking help with the bedwetting coincided with dd being anxious etc so good if we can get some help for the whole package. I think dd will benefit from the physical check up next week and I feel I have benefited from having an overview of family dynamics, my role in it, and what needs to be done differently. But sush,I am not meant to be talking about it!

Sounds like you're getting some really good help there Bananas.

Just been reading up on German law sites about leaving keys,and it looks like it's 50/50 but anyway, if she's meaning we have to leave a spare key in general (not just on holiday) then we haven't got one. We got 4 keys and there are 4 people living here. I'll just tell her we don't go on holiday so no need. I just moved into this place and I am already thinking of where to move next! Good job dh has been fighting all week for a pay rise!

He's been told too that his money owed from the conference will be given back in January with his monthly pay. From the sound of it, it's going to be taxed with his normal pay would be which is stupid in January we'd have to wait a whole year to do tax returns to get any of it back.

I'm not surprised you're thinking about your next move, admylin - your landlady would drive me mad. Did your DH get his pay rise?

The systematische Aufstellung sounds really interesting, bananas; I won't ask you any more about it, though! I think I would feel a bit uncomfortable doing something like that (especially in German), at least initially, but it does sounds like it could be very helpful.

We've got the Kindergarten Martinsfest this afternoon; it's so cold and windy today that I'm glad we don't have to walk to the church! I would be quite happy to stay indoors for the rest of the day, in fact.

morning all! i also braved aldi this morning but it was dead quiet so musnt have been any kids clothes on offer! i got myself some more knee length socks tho - i love them in the winter especially for under boots!

bananas - good on you for going to the Aufstellung on your own and doing all that in German! those lessons have definitely paid off! about the bed wetting - does your dd drink enough in the day? a friend in the UK went to the clinic with her son who i think was about 8 at the time and they said the children should drink 8 glasses of whatever in the day as if they dont drink enough in the day then they never get a sensation of having a full bladder then in the night they have a full bladder and they arent used to the sensation. obviously easier said than done with some kids but they had a chart that he had to tick off when he's drunk a glass. she said the first few nights were like a flood but then he was dry! and he'd been bed wetting for years!

admylin - thats rubbish about the money your dh is owed! they know fine well he'll not be able to claim that back this year! grrrr! and your landlady sounds crazy!!

so we were at the st Martinzug last night (in the pouring rain) and dh randomly asked me what level my german course was - he normally never pays an attention to it! turns out he's been investigating on the internet how i would transfer my qualifications to here so that i'd be able to work in the future!! I'm a physio and one of the physios at his hospital had asked if i was free to cover her for holidays etc and i think it got him thinking!! but is it bad to say - i dont really want to work!!

so i said i'd look into it - but really i'm not going to and hope he loses interest! he's not exzctly going to force me to work! and anyway i'm having way to much fun being a hausfrau! again!

Canella, maybe part time would be good if you enjoyed what you did? I know my BIL once tried to get my sister to go full time (she does 2 days a week with free child care with my parents) and her answer was, if you don't like having your shirts ironed and a meal on the table when you walk in the door Ok, I can work full time but life as we know it will end!

He stopped nagging after a while!

Yes, dh gets his pay rise in January. He had to fight for it though, last year they suddenly started to give him 1200 LESS than he had been getting just becaus ehis useless boss hadn't filled the forms in properly so we went for 3 months on les smoney then they paid some of it back and said the rest would come now in December. We shall see..

His old boss has put hom forward for a really good job in Berlin with big responsabilities. I think, when someone or somewhere asks you to to join them because they want you in particular, then you have more chance of bargaining over relocation packages, higher wages and perks in general. Usually he's applying for lecturer jobs along with 200 others and you have to practically beg them to take you.

Canella - if you don't have to work for financial reasons and don't want to work, then there's nothing to be about! I can't imagine ever working full-time again and in fact can't imagine going out to work again either, but I do enjoy working freelance - it's nice to exercise my brain cells occasionally! (Of course, you can do so without necessarily doing paid work - your German classes are a perfect example.) I work very part-time hours at the moment, but have decided not to look for any more work - if some turns up, great, but if not I have plenty of other things to keep myself occupied!

How would you feel about moving back to Berlin, admylin? To me, Berlin is like London - I really enjoyed my time there and enjoy going back to visit, but am not sure whether I'd want to live there any more.

Not sure about Berlin because the dc are quite happy in the school here but then again dh would be offered such a good position which would mean more money, more comfortable lifestyle and home, much more on offer for the dc as they get older too.

Would have to go and look at the Gymnasium in and around Berlin or think of staying here and him coming home at weekends (but not in this flat!)

Wonder how dd managed her maths exam. Last night she managed those questions quite well and wasn't half as baffled as I was when I tried to do them earlier. Better get the rest of the work done, have half hoovered, half tidied the kitchen and still have washing to put on. One of the gerbils is ill (has a cold) so it's sitting under a warm lamp thing - I've been left in charge of checking it's OK!

When you put it like that, Berlin does sounds quite tempting admylin. I'm sure so much depends on exactly where in the city you live too.

How did your DD's maths exam go? DH was trying to get DD1 to practise indirect speech after the Martinsfest last night and it was just a disaster; she couldn't concentrate and he was getting really worked up because she couldn't do it. I'm torn between wondering whether he takes it all too seriously and being glad that he makes such an effort with her.

Hope the gerbil is better now; I didn't realise they could catch colds! I'm feeling a lot better today, but DH has a cold now too so we're not sure whether we'll go to his parents' this weekend after all. We'd booked a table at the Indian restaurant too... oh well, there's always another weekend if we don't go this one (it's just that this is a long weekend). Am going to meet up with an English friend this afternoon, which I'm looking forward to (proper tea!) even if it does involve a scary drive on the motorway.

Morning. We have a flooded balcony this morning, never noticed before bit there isn't a drain for the rain water to run off and the edges of the balcony are raised slightly all around which makes a little paddling pool when we have heavy rain like last night. Hmmm, shame the dc are past the age but a toddler in a pair of wellies would have a field day.

Linzer, I think your dh just knows the system and if you don't practise to near perfection you don't make the grade. School was much easier when we went and it was a different system. I get the impression that here, what they teach in the classroom is only half and the rest has to be done at home. It can be frustrating for the dc.

Dd said the test was good and she finished all the questions in the time. One thing that I find really strange is that the teacher writes two tests, test a and test b and hands them out so that dc sitting next to each other can't copy. Dd said all the test a dc finished on time and all the test b dc didn't manage all their questions. Sounds wrong doesn't it?

It's raining here today, too - and is cold, grey, windy and generally miserable. Have just turned the heating up and I'm still cold (although have just checked and it hasn't actually come on...).

You're probably right about DH knowing the system, admylin; I'm still getting used to the way things are done here. I've heard that some of the teachers at the Gymnasium don't manage to get through the whole syllabus so the pupils have to do the rest at home. Our neighbour was telling us how she had to help her DDs finish off their craft projects; I'm so untalented at that kind of thing (had to get another neighbour to teach DD1 to crochet when she was struggling with it at school) that I'm hoping she'll choose technisches Werken over textiles Werken, then DH can help her to finish everything!

I can understand why the teacher would have set two different tests, but it doesn't seem very fair - it must be virtually impossible to guarantee that they're the same level (and it sounds like one test was quite a bit easier). Hope your DD gets the results she's hoping for, anyway!

good morning all. hmmm..flooded balcony does not sound good. how is the gerbil? I hope the Berlin thing works out - it does sound like a good break. My DH is also an academic so am aware of some of the rubbish things that people have to suffer in that area of employment. I am amazed at how people are kept hanging on for years with little guarantee for the future, or your future depending on some established prof.

It is interesting to read all about the schooling stuff...seems so stressful.

Canella - is your table there yet? Thanks for the info on drinking more during the day. I do think that is a problem and we are trying to change that. And of course you don´t need to be embarrassed about not wanting to get paid work...you have enough to do with 3 children and learning a new language, that´s work enough isn´t it?

Just recovered (yes, took over 2 hours) from the worst morning and school run ever. DD1 being aggressive and terrorising us all from the moment she got up. I got hit, punched and told she hated me, and us all. Then DD2 having a meltdown because she wanted to order some magazine from the school and I said no. (Some man came in with a pamphlet and told the children that the magazines were free, and that they had to respond by Friday. In fact they cost 33 euros a year.I have said that they can get magazines from the Tabak instead if they want). So had to drag meltdown dd2 to school...in her slippers cos she refused to put her shoes on. Oh the shame. I feel dreadful, I know I am doing something very wrong here but can´t figure out how to change it, I hope that aufstellung woman can help further. I did manage to keep calm and not shout or loose it. Holding back tears was tough though.

Linzer - I also felt very umcomfortable doing that aufstellung, and find myself, now, 2 days later, questioning its value!

And now enjoying the calm quiet house. Off to clean, iron and shop for the week.

Bananas hope you have recovered abit from your bad start to the day. I think Friday can be a bad day as it's the end of the week and the dc are just exhausted. Ds couldn't get up today, he took ages to get his eyes open and dd rushed out without breakfast again so she could get a lift with dh.

Academia is hard isn't it. Dh is completely fed up again, his professor is flying to San Diego today with 2 students to a neuroscience meeting. His old boss and the whole group from Berlin are also flying and they couldn't believe that he wasn't going too...it's THE place to be if you're a neuroscientist but his professor said she didn't have the funding to take him aswell.

Gerbil still isn't very well, has a runny nose and bad breathing and it has scratched the nose its paws so it was bleeding and then it scrathched the scab so now it is getting antibiotic gel on its nose and then being held for a while so it doesn't scratch straight away. Poor thing, seem to be quite fragile.

Oh bananas, what an awful start to the day. I know how you feel as DD2 can have the most awful meltdowns too - she had one yesterday as she was supposed to be going over to a friend's before the Laternenfest but it got cancelled at the last minute (long and very annoying story which I won't go into here!), and she didn't stop crying for about half an hour. Then she had one this morning on the way to school, when she discovered that DS would be going to a friend's and then to Turnen so wouldn't be coming with us to see our English friends... Thankfully she had just about calmed down by the time she got out of the car.

Sorry, didn't want to make this all about me - it's so hard, isn't it? But you're not doing anything wrong; it's the DC's choice to react like that, they're testing your boundaries and you're doing so well if you don't give into them. It's great that you're going to the Aufstellung though, and it's early days yet - I'm sure it's too soon to see much of an improvement, but hang on in there! (You're a braver woman than me!)

It's ridiculous how much parents are expected to fork out for school... I dread to think how much we've spent already - at least ?30 on trips, ?50-60 on magazines (theoretically not compulsory, but they use them in class so I'm not sure what happens if you don't), ?10 towards text books, ?20 towards craft supplies... I could go on - and that's without all the supplies that we had to buy at the start of the year.

Where does your DH work, bananas? DH sometimes thinks about going into academia, but then it would be difficult for him to get back into industry if he changed his mind - he seems to be keeping it an option for about 10 years' time, though.

Thanks for kind words. I do think friday is a bad day, plus yesterday was the Lanternefest, got home later than usual, excited etc. Deep breath....and try again this afternoon!

admylin, that is rubbish. It is exactly the sort of thing that makes me mad...so much nepotism and people trying to cover their own backs. I did not realise gerbils were so complicated. Hope it gets better.

Linzer...dd2 sounds like mine, I am sorry to say! It´s often about friends coming round etc that causes these meltdowns. It´s tough to be a little one at times. I know what you mean about the extra expense... I am actually silently fuming about the magazine business. We have already paid for the magazine they use in the class, and then this is an extra. Both dd1 and dd2 have had meltdowns about me saying no, tis ridiculous! Thing is I know them, they would not read them. We had the same thing last year with dd2, if we gave our contact details to some publisher then we would get a free book. EVERYBODY in the class is doing it MUMMY!We explained that we did not want to give our address and then even the teacher wrote a note in the Elternheft to say the book was free and that we could give false details . DH works at Vienna University, the main one I mean.If your DH can get a good deal, then it´s a good life. Otherwise it can be tough. Seems good to keep it as an option/change for later in life. And from what I hear universities here have greater flexibility in what they can offer than in Germany. come to austria admylin!

the table is here! and its even more gorgeous than i remembered!

will post properly later - need to finish up my jobs before i get the boys then we need to go and buy a plastic sheety thing to cover the table at mealtimes! it really is too beautiful to let those monkeys eat at it without a cover!

There was an opening in Vienna recently but I think it was just for 2 years ! Would be good though, not too much of a new language to learn either. I get worried when he says there's a job going in Denmark or Sweden as I do not want to learn another language (well, except spanish, but that's just for fun)

Gerbil now in separate box as nose bleeding and I don't know if the other gerbil is maybe 'cleaning' it as they tend to sit curled up together cleaning each other.

I think we had those free book offers too from Duden. Is that the same? They sent a card with a choice. Ds got the German grammar one and he had the alphabet one in year 1. They were quite good and they haven't bothered us since. Only at the back of the book they advertise their other books that you can buy.

Yes, you should come to Vienna admylin! Wasn't it named the best city for quality of life not long ago? Must admit I did feel like I was having to learn a new language when I first came to Austria - although I think the Viennese are generally far easier to understand than the Oberösterreicher (where DH is from)!

bananas - maybe it's DD2 syndrome?!? I keep telling myself she'll get better eventually, but no sign of it yet. DH works just round the corner from the university; he generally has more to do with the TU, but I think he's going to be getting a Diplomand from the University of Vienna soon.

How's the table, Canella? Hopefully still in pristine condition!

We've just come back from a weekend at my ILs, which was nice and relaxing - partly because I unsociably spent a lot of time reading my book! We didn't see much of SIL and her family though, as she was marking two Schularbeiten and her DD and DS were revising for Schularbeiten - though her DD (DH's niece) did spend quite a bit of time helping DD1 with her homework; she has far more patience than DH or me. Am still thinking about whether Gymnasium is right for DD1, but I'm not sure there's a decent alternative.

We also had a lovely meal out at our favourite Indian restaurant - we didn't have to pay again (am hoping my menu translation will be worth one more free meal) and they made extra for us to take home to the DC, although I'm quite tempted to keep it for ourselves as I'm not sure the DC would appreciate it as much as us.

Yes, I always thought Vienna would be nice although I've never been. Dh has brought an offer to apply to in California - dd was overjoyed, no idea why she thinks California would be great!

Sounds like you had a relaxing weekend, did you come back feeling rested and ready for the week? We were meant to go out for dh's birthday but we ate very late at home (due to my pressure cooker breaking and the meat taking hours to cook) and then dd had organised cake from the bakery bless her! So we had a choice of different slices of cake then no one could have managed a meal out so we just stayed home.

Canella, did you cook a big meal to enjoy at your new posh table? Did you get your plastic sheet?

Linzer do they have Gesamtschule in Austria? I was thinking of that for dd before because they can stay in the same class even if they go up or down from the Gymnasium group to the Realschule group. Our nearest was just too huge so we liked the Gymnasium they go to as it's small with only 800 pupils.

hello all,
Nice to read about relaxing weekends with lots of food. Did you get your books finished Linzer? Your mention of Indian food has made me want to get some from somewhere....And admylin dd organising cake sounds very sweet.
How is the gerbil? I am not sure it was a Duden book, but I shall have a look if it comes round again and maybe be more generous with our contact details.

California versus Vienna? Both have their pros and cons. We have had years of the "shall we move to X?" conversations. They can be fun, if you are ready for change...and it makes you realise what you like/dislike about present place of residence and what you can do to make your current life better.

We had a relaxing weekend. DC seemed quite happy even though Dh worked through the weekend again. This is one disadvantage of academia, very hard to maintain that life work balance, esp if work in something that feel so passionate about.

Must go and see to DD1 ....back later