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Original poster

Mum pancreatic cancer, on syringe driver how long?

65 replies

ILoveaSunflower · 15/10/2026 22:46

Looking for a hand hold and some advice.
Mum was diagnosed 8 weeks ago with stage 4 pancreatic cancer that has metastasized to the liver.
Her decline has been shockingly rapid and she is now on a hospital bed at home with a syringe driver for the pain.
I have been spending as much time as I can over there but also trying to work ful time with two kids.
I'm wondering if she's nearing the end and I should get signed off to be there with her everyday? Or if I've got longer?

OP posts:
Gengha · 15/10/2026 23:44

I’m so sorry OP. What a shocking time for you. I think sadly you may not have long left. Definitely go off work and spend time with her x

Sohereitissuddenly · 15/10/2026 23:45

It won't be long. I'm so sorry.

Dad died from pancreatic cancer. It was less than 3 weeks from diagnosis.

Be with her. It's incredibly cruel. Flowers

Icanthinkformyselfthanks · 15/10/2026 23:47

@ILoveaSunflower , I’m so sorry at 71 she is pretty young. I believe once the syringe driver is administered there isn’t usually long. That’s how it was for both of my parents. Sending you strength. 💐

Jenpen31 · 16/10/2026 00:06

So sorry. Take time off work to be with your Mum.

TheChosenTwo · 16/10/2026 00:10

So sorry op 💐
my friend was on one for about a week before she passed.
Went to see her daily and one day she was just fast asleep. Sat with her for a while c chatted to her with our other friend and wished her a peaceful Christmas for the next day (her family were going in to spend the day with her) and had a phone call on Boxing Day to let us know she had gone in the early hours of Boxing Day.
Sending you a big hug, take the time from work and be with your mum 💐

selffellatingouroborosofhate · 16/10/2026 01:04

Ask your line manager if your company has a Carer's Leave policy. You might get paid time off through that route. And no, you wouldn't be a fraud for using it, because sitting with the dying is itself an act of care, even if Macmillan are doing the pain managment and personal care.

HalfasleepChrisintheMorning · 16/10/2026 03:30

When my darling Dad was in hospice the GP signed me off sick due to the stress of it- this is perfectly normal.
Sending you strength, hope your mum is peaceful

Yello24 · 16/10/2026 04:27

You’ve been incredible to keep up full time work alongside what you have going on. The fact you are obviously conscientious but are asking is the sign that you need to take this time now so I’m glad you’ve decided.
My darling MIL died of this cancer. I know we all appreciate the time we had to sit with her and talk to her in her last days. She was very very tired but would still squeeze our hands. We’d play music she liked and share memories and just hold her hand. I hope it is peaceful for you all.

Imnotperfecteither · 16/10/2026 05:16

So sorry @ILoveaSunflower my dad passed away 3 weeks ago; once he reached this stage it was literally a couple of days. The blessing was that he was sleeping so much he passed peacefully in his sleep and didn’t look like he was in any pain/discomfort.
lots of love and strength to you and your family xx

Ifailed · 16/10/2026 05:31

DP lasted 36 hours, for the last 24 they were unconscious. Spend as much time as you can with her, definitely self-report to work as stressed.

ThisZanyCoralShark · 16/10/2026 05:40

I am so sorry op. My mum also died of pancreatic cancer. It’s got such vague symptoms people are often diagnosed very late.

my thoughts are with you

PurpleFlower1983 · 16/10/2026 06:19

Get signed off now, it won’t be long ❤️

Londonnight · 16/10/2026 06:35

I'm really sorry to hear about your mum. My good friend died of pancreatic cancer within 12 weeks. It is such an awful disease.
Once she was on a syringe driver it was days before she passed away.

I would get signed off and spend as much time as you can with your mum.

thornbury · 16/10/2026 06:46

Sending you strength. DH died of metastatic cancer 3 weeks ago and the end from this point came very quickly. It was both far too soon and the right time.

AnnieDoodling · 16/10/2026 09:53

Take the time off. You won’t regret it. Sending love to you and hoping for peace for your Mum x

dontforgetme · 16/10/2026 10:04

It was a couple of days with my grandad op. He died very peacefully in his sleep with family around him. Sending you lots of love and strength.

WhatNextImScared · 16/10/2026 10:10

Can you realistically afford to take compassionate leave without pay and rely on savings for a short amount of time? I would start it now. As others have said it’s unlikely to be long and you won’t regret being there.

OneNeatDenimHelper · 16/10/2026 10:14

My Mum had 24 hours after being placed on a syringe driver, and was unconscious for the last 3 hours. I’m so sorry that you are going through this OP.

IzzyLeng · 16/10/2026 10:17

Sorry you’re going through this.

my dad was about 2 weeks on a string driver, unconscious and not eating with lymphoma.

my mum had pancreatic cancer and was about a week unconscious on a syringe driver in hospital. Then got moved to a hospice where she was a couple more days.

Strachalan · 16/10/2026 10:18

Similar situation with a family member. He had a couple of weeks once he started refusing food. Syringe driver was delivered, he saw the nurses bring it in, then he died the following day. I wasn't there and several years later, do regret it. I did see his spirit though, he came to say goodbye. If I could do it differently though, I would have been there. So sorry this is happening OP XXX

KindlySurfiingPlatypus · 16/10/2026 10:23

So sorry your family is facing this. Yes take the time off you need.

I recommend Kathryn Mannix as a source of wisdom https://www.kathrynmannix.com/ I heard a talk from her when I was going through cancer diagnosis (thankfully I have recovered, but at the time I didn't know I would) and she has a lot to say to help families in your situation.

user47639820987 · 16/10/2026 10:26

I think how long is very hard to predict. My very elderly relative, 99, was on end of life care for 6 months, but they had just run out of steam rather than dying of anything in particular.
My mother in her 60’s lasted about 48hrs with the syringe driver and never really woke up once it was administered.
All the posters saying they are regretful they weren't there at the end - it is really well documented that people more often than not wait till they are on their own to pass so don’t feel badly about your absence.
Wishing you strength OP.

Frodocheerio · 16/10/2026 10:29

number1of7 · 15/10/2026 23:18

I wish someone had told me that the syringe driver meant bot long. Sorry OP.

Me too, @number1of7, although it seems so obvious in hindsight.

MissingMyDadAlready · 16/10/2026 10:38

I heard here that once you're on a syringe driver, it's likely to be days. However, my dad went 12 days between last being able to drink anything & having syringe driver and actually dying, which was a lot longer than we had expected. We heard from someone whose parent took 19 days to die once they'd stopped drinking.

It's good you're able to take time off work as your mum's ability to understand/interact is likely to reduce My dad was unconscious for the majority of that time and I'm glad I was able to see him before the end of that period.

Hugs to you. This is so hard

JenRummy · 16/10/2026 10:42

OP I’m so sorry for what you and you’re dear Mum are facing. Take time off immediately. The rapid decline, driver, and sleeping lots etc would indicate you may be talking days or weeks but unlikely to be months. Hold her hand, keep her comfortable and say everything you need to. It’s so hard when someone we love is leaving this world. Spend every minute that you can with her. 🫶🏻