Mum moving to palliative care after sudden terminal cancer diagnosis

[Pleasehelpme90]

My head is all over the place but I will try to get my words down as best I can. My mum and I have been estranged for two years. Last week a family member got in touch and said she has every recently been diagnosed with cancer. I went in today for a meeting with the doctors and they have confirmed she has stage 4b clear cell carcinoma, which I understand is a rare and aggressive type of ovarian cancer. It has unfortunately spread to her liver, lungs and ribs. The oncologist gave a best guess of weeks for life expectancy. They could try chemo but it wouldn’t prolong her life by much and we think she’s probably too weak. She has deteriorated so much in the last week I didn’t even know it was possible. She was happy to see me and I just want her to be as comfortable as possible when they move her to palliative care this week. I would like to know any signs that the end is near, and how I can make her as comfortable as possible

So sorry you're going through this, your head must be all over the place. It's always hard to know, but generally if they are getting worse by the week they have a matter of weeks, by the day it's days, and by the hour it's hours. A big increase in sleeping and stopping eating/drinking are common near the end. Hugs.

My Dad from lung cancer 18 years ago. He went for his last out patient appointment and it totally zapped him of his last bit of strength. He went straight to bed and never came downstairs again. From memory he died 4 weeks later.

Not wanting to eat is a big sign that the body is preparing for death. MacMillan nurses came to the house and told us when the breathing changed that was the start of active dying stage. Glad I voiced that I wanted to be there at the end. I had a difficult relationship at the end but never regret being there for his last breath. The brain shuts down until the primitive bits remain.