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Life-limiting illness

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How can I best support my terminally ill friend

6 replies

Keeponkeeeeeeepingon · 16/03/2026 23:10

First time posting on Mumsnet, really would love some advise please .

My best friend has been battling cancer for years and last year was told it is terminal. She’s been pretty well and being able to do a lot but recently started to become more ill and less able to go places and do things to make memories with her children and friends and family

She’s in hospital at the moment and just feels horrible, she’s missing out on things that have been arranged and she’s pretty fed up, understandably.

As her close friend I just want to ‘fix’ it all for her but obviously there’s little I can do and that’s what I want to ask really, what things can I do to make it easier for her, little things that can make a big difference?

I’m seeing her this week in hospital and will be taking some of her favourite things and I thought maybe some wet wipes so she feels fresher and mints too but I just feel helpless and want to do as much as I can to make all this a bit easier for her. There must be something more I can do than get her bloody wet wipes and a pack of mints! I just can’t think of anything and not sure what else I can do to help

Not just while she’s in hospital but during all of the next part coming up

The past year I’ve helped with arranging things with her and memory books and places she’s always wanted to visit and things like that which helped her a lot but now we are past that point and I’m lost on how to help now

thank you

OP posts:
Unexpectedlysinglemum · 16/03/2026 23:12

Being there for her and listening, really listening to her. And being fun and sharing gossip or fun facts or whatever you usually enjoy.
if she’s happy to talk about it, tell her you’re happy to help her make a plan to share her wishes for wake etc

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 16/03/2026 23:13

Anything that smells nice like luxury hand cream?

WhoamItoday11 · 16/03/2026 23:17

What's her family situation? Are there children that need support or running around? Does she need some help and support at home when she gets out of hospital? Does she need someone to take her to appointments and to sit with her while she waits and gets treatment? Those are the things I would thinking about. What practical day to day things can she not do for herself or need assistance with now?

auserna · 16/03/2026 23:23

WhoamItoday11 · 16/03/2026 23:17

What's her family situation? Are there children that need support or running around? Does she need some help and support at home when she gets out of hospital? Does she need someone to take her to appointments and to sit with her while she waits and gets treatment? Those are the things I would thinking about. What practical day to day things can she not do for herself or need assistance with now?

Yes, there are the children mentioned in the second paragraph of the OP.

auserna · 16/03/2026 23:26

Would she like you to help her make videos/ write letters / buy presents to leave for her children?

Would some gorgeous pyjamas give her some pleasure?

Keeponkeeeeeeepingon · 17/03/2026 00:22

Sorry, this is a reply to everyone as I can’t work out how to reply to people individually, how do I do that??

thank you for the replies, there’s some really good suggestions of things I hadn’t thought of.

All the more practical bigger stuff is taken care of really it’s more smaller things that I can try to do to help, I’ve written a list from the ideas here and it’s helped a lot so thank you xx

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