I am unwell

[MrsCatE]

Hanging on because I know if I go before mother, it will be the end of her. But I'm so tired of it all. Husband refuses to acknowledge that I'm literally at the end even though he has to do everything - from cleaning, housekeeping, shopping, trying to make me eat whilst I struggle to maintain some basic human dignity re hygiene, showering, getting to the loo etc. Even the cat knows the end is near because is literally glued to me. He won't eat unless I manage to drag myself to his eating station in the Kitchen and watch! Don't know what I want to achieve from this post - it's taken forever to write - but trying to hang on for mother! Anyone in similar position? I'm in so much pain - who would think their own body could inflict such agony?!

I am not in your situation and I have no words except to say how sorry I am for your plight. Xx

I have no idea how you must be feeling but want to send you so much love and healing xx

I don't have the right words, but I'm so sorry you're struggling OP. Husband is clinging onto hope I expect. I wish you peace and comfort 💐

I’m sorry you’re in such a bad way right now. I just want you to know I’m sending my love to you. even though we’ve never met I really do feel for you and I think you’re very brave and writing it down is definitely a good thing to help to make some kind of sense of what’s happening right now. Your husband sounds really supportive and your cat sounds lovely too. I know it’s hard but try to look at the positives you have in life right now no matter how small they feel
in comparison to the pain and how you are feeling right now x

Thanks all. Wallowing in my own self pity before properly exploring this Forum and am sure will benefit from others' experiences. Again, thanks.

Oh that’s so sad. Do you mind sharing your diagnosis?

@patooties Liver issue. I don't see any point to be put on any lists. Must say that all hospital stays since lockdown have been incredible re respect and monitoring - and must think of how to show appreciation in Will! Any suggestions re charities that benefit health care professionals?

@patooties forgot to add multiple joint replacements due to osteoporosis issues - huge addition to pain but liver will be the one unless I trip over the cat (yet again) and fragment.

I'm so sorry that you're in this situation. Sending comforting thoughts xxx

I'm so sorry for your situation.

I'm nowhere near as ill as you but may find myself in the same boat in the future. I have incurable cancer which is currently under control and not affecting my health a great deal, but like you my main hope is that I outlive my elderly mother, as I'm her only remaining close relative and I know she couldn't cope without me.

I’m so sorry to read these messages. Sending you lots of love. OP, I think if you write a letter to the hospitals where you have been cared for for the staff to read, that will mean a lot.

Thanks to all! Really appreciate all the good wishes and send out reciprocal virtual hugs! I'm starting another thread re my need for advice re nasty side effects etc but many thanks for all your good wishes!

Sending you waves of love from a stranger on the internet who is much more comfortable with practical help.

id discourage you from leaving directly leaving legacy to any charity in your will. By all means leave a separate statement of wishes and ask your loved ones to make a donation from their legacy in your name.

if the charity is directly named, they will usually feel obligated to push quite hard for the estate to be wound up and their donation realised. Not at all what your executor(s) and loved ones need at a difficult time.