Have I missed a running thread for this? (It's not my partner so not allowed on the Storm threads)
I've supported two close family who both died (cancer and dementia) and now a third is stage 4 cancer, treatment not working. It's slightly easier in some ways as I've done this before but I still have the same nagging in my head that I can't get to stop. Mostly my questions are around stuff I feel I have no right to think or ask. It would be nice to speak to others experiencing the same rollercoaster of tests, treatments, setbacks, good care, black holes of despair care, family dysfunction and say the stuff I want to. She seems 'quite well' but that's fairly relative. Liver, lung and bone mets. Pleural effusion which needs draining (again). She's asked to stop treatment. She seems upbeat but I think has a mask for the sake of immediate family who are not coping. She isn't correcting her DH who is telling everyone her treatment is going well and will keep her alive for another 5-10 years. I'm torn between thinking It's OK for us all to pretend she's not seriously ill and won't it be a massive shock if she's dead in 3 months....and then it's not up to me to have any thoughts or voice them anyway......but then I go straight back into worrying that I'm watching a car crash. I'm not going to interfere (please don't anyone pounce on that) but I'm just voicing my middle of the night worries. I will be picking up the pieces of the family when she's gone. I know she wants her family to be OK and is terrified by the way they are avoiding it but also exhausted by the idea of having to babysit them as they work through their grief whilst she faces her own. I just want to help them all.
I have a hundred other questions. Let's see if this is something others would feel able to share