What to say to someone who’s been diagnosed?

[Flipitnreverseit]

A dear family friend has recently been diagnosed with a terminal illness and given just months to live. The diagnosis was very sudden and shocking.

I’m unsure of what, if anything I can really say to her. The people I’ve seen who have been put in similar situation always seem to be strong and positive, taking each day as it comes.. however she has only expressed fear, which obviously is fair enough. It’s made me extra sad for her knowing she is so scared. I’ve never had someone close to me have this happen and I’m a chronic speak-before-thinking type of person. I always mean well but sometimes I end up trying to be helpful and being the opposite out of pure awkwardness.

I want to be prepared when we speak next and not saying anything that ain’t helpful by accident.

What are good/ok things to say?

I'd just acknowledge it for what it is.
"This is a super shit situation. Do you want to talk about it or shall I distract you with our usual nonsense?"

@Ciderapplevinegar has pitched it perfectly. I am so sorry for you and your friend.

I was in a similar situation about a year ago, and my friend really did not want to talk about it. So we gossiped, talked about our dogs, her dc, Scottish politics etc. Anything but the diagnosis / prognosis.

Thank both. I appreciate the replies. I’m fairly sure she’s a talker as she’s been fairly quick to update and give details so far. I just hope that I can do enough just by listening.

Just let her talk and just listen. Let her lead.

Cry with her if that's what she needs. If she needs to really talk it out don't gloss over it or make a joke. I can imagine that would be worse for her.