Oesophageal cancer stage 4 how can I help him and prepare

[Totallybannanas]

Dad is 79 years and has stage 4, he is really struggling keeping fluids down now. They want to put in a stent and do a course of radiation just to give him some quality of life. Up until now no pain and still mobile. We have no idea how long and they said they can't predict. He lives alone so I'm looking at taking time off work is, I get 6 months sick pay not that it matters. I think keeping hold of my job is the important thing when this is all over. I just feel so overwhelmed, tired and helpless. I worry the care will be all left to me, my dad has never been vulnerable or fragile until now. It's such a shock to us all. What help should I be getting and asking for? They are sending him home once they can do the stent which could be Thursday or Friday. This will now be the weekend and everything happens at night or weekends when you can't get hold of anyone 😔

I’d put this on the elderly parent thread if I were you. People can guide you how to get support in place as there is a lot of experience. My advice is to ask for an assessment of his needs before he is discharged.

If you have a local hospice please contact them to ask what support they can give and who organises this. Get as much support as you can. Macmillan is also a good source of information especially around getting any financial support.

A stent massively improved things for my late DH, although it was very sudden and quick progression and he was at the point of not even being able to swallow liquids when they did it.

He then had chemo, followed by radio.
The radio made him very very tired.

He later had a 2nd stent put in as the cancer was growing over the top/bottom of it.

Our local hospice were very good, DH had a "pain management" stay about about a month before he died to try and get things under control, and they also provided a Hospice at Home service where someone will come and stay in the home overnight so that family can get some rest - that was invaluable in the last few days.

Where you can, take moments of time for yourself - if you burn out then you won't be able to support your dad.

Thank you, that's really helpful. It's all so overwhelmed, I'm planning on staying with him when he comes home but will have to sleep on an air bed, this is mainly due to his anxiety at night when has been regurgitating. I'm not sure this is ideal long term though. I may have to nip home during the day for naps.