End of life - delirium and what does it mean

[Dreamerinme]

My DM and I have been estranged for nearly ten years due to her behaviour, however she has terminal cancer and was admitted to a hospice a few days ago. A relative has told me that she doesn’t have long now, and she is delirious (relative’s word) most of the time and thinks her own DM (deceased) is there in the room.

Does being delirious mean she has only has days to live? Would she be likely to hear my voice if I asked the hospice to see if she could consent to putting a phone near her? She does not live in the UK and due to distance there is now way that I can see her in time I don’t think.

I can ring the hospice but I don’t even know if they will say if she is a patient, due to confidentiality which I understand.

Her DSis and former partner are blocking all family pretty much from knowing what’s happening (DM has turned nasty towards family in recent years) and I found out that she was in a hospice from an old work colleague from over twenty years ago. We haven’t talked in nearly a decade, aside from a few months ago, but the reality of this is hitting hard.
Thank you.

In my own experience (also cancer) once the delirium got pretty bad it was 31/2 days before they died. It had been coming on for a couple of weeks by that point, mostly lucid with just a few moments of delirium which I initially put down to the morphine but, once the delirium was full on, they then just had the occasional small moments of being lucid for the first couple of days, before being mostly unconscious for the remainder of their time.
I’m sorry, I’m sure this has stirred up a lot of upset for you

If you want to ring the hospice, ring them.

if your dm has instructed no visitors or calls the hospice will know

ring up and say your Name if mither, daughter and can they put a phone to her ear?

if there is to be no visits etc, the hospice will or should let you know they can’t tell you - at that point

My DH died a couple of weeks ago from cancer and his delirium started a few weeks before he died and got worse. If it's a hospice rather than a hospital, and it's anything like England in terms of demand for beds, then they generally admit once the patient is very close to dying. My DH went in on the Monday and died 48hrs later. A lot will depend on whether your DM is still eating or taking fluids.

Im sorry for your situation OP.

Firstly, sorry for your situation.
When my father was dying the delirium started a few weeks beforehand. Some days he was coherent, others not at all.
He had the best time for 20 years, as he seemed with my Mother constantly & was extremely happy.
She died two decades ago.
I would think the end is round the corner.