Family member is 77 and has had stage 4 prostate cancer for five years that we know had spread to his back/pelvis but in a small area and the treatments have worked keeping PSA negligible all this time. He is an ostrich and does not wish to know the details during his consultations and appointments, consequently, we are in the dark but trying to piece things together as he has now been in hospital for 19 days with a perforated gallbladder, sepsis in the abdomen, kidney damage from the infection and severe anaemia for which he’s had a transfusion.
It is really hard getting any information from the staff about his prognosis (possibly because it’s noted that he doesn’t want to know) and we haven’t been able to catch the consultant since the initial admission.
I realise it’s not looking great but he’s finished the course of antibiotics, the drain is working well and his vital signs/obs are good (no “score”), so the nurses say he’s doing fine. And yet he looks and acts like he’s at death’s door when we visit. He has his eyes closed and comes round to mutter a few words then drifts off again.
He’s now refusing food, drink and medication; they get into him what they can. I know that this is something that happens in the final stages before death, so we are concerned, but the staff don’t seem to share our concern and haven’t told us anything to that effect. They haven’t said they think he’s going to recover but they do deem he has capacity and want to encourage independence, so they say they won’t “bully” him into eating. But by not helping him eat, he’s just going to go downhill.
We are determined to pin down the consultant for an update on Monday but in the meantime, as we have no prior experience of anything like this but, does this sound like this is the beginning of the end, even though his vitals are fine?
We can’t help feeling that there’s something the hospital are not telling us and as he’s in a hospital 40 minutes away, we want to make sure we’re with him if/when the time comes.