Relative dying and so near death

[Icedlatteplease]

I will apologise if my bluntness comes over callous, but I really think my relative deserves some peace. She has fought cancer for way longer than does her good and said her goodbyes to anyone. Tbf she seems determined to fight every step of the way and that seems to be the only thing keeping her alive. She is not very lucid now at all and has no quality of life.

She has stopped being able to swallow liquid, does anyone know what they will do next? District nurse come today. Does this mean she might finally get some rest?

Has this not been discussed with you? Are you not the next of kin?

There will be a plan around administering the end of life medication- meds like morphine that reduces pain but they largely lose consciousness and also meds to aid breathing.

It may well be at that stage. Discuss with district nurse. Once they give those meds which is when people are in the last days of life, I think they pass within days.

There is a lot of information on the Marie Curie website.

No, not the next of kin. So not really my place. She's been on a high dose end of life dose of morphine for years.

My relative who is caring at home is frazzled. So cant ask but im trying to work out what the next few days look like.

When my Dad was dying, he stopped eating around 3 weeks before he passed, and didn't drink anything for nearly 2 weeks. They kept saying days but he held on in there. It was quite brutal and upsetting to be honest.

Tbh that's exactly what I'm afraid of. My family member is determined they will care for them at home until the end. I am worried they will get to 24 hour vigil stage. They don't have great sense of boundaries and self preservation at the best of times. Not that i can do anything about that anymore than i can my relative dying. Thank you for sharing, that helps me calibrate my plans in terms of how I can best support.

My DF was similar to @MillWood85 's DF. Mine had a syringe driver for the last week which meant he didn't feel a thing as he was in a very deep sleep/comatose. It was a gentle death, I was with him as he died though ever the showman he took his last breath at the crescendo of his favourite piece of music 😁.

I Hope your relative has a gentle death too, OP. 💐

Thank you. I hope so too.

Amazing how stuff like that happens!!

This was my experience with my Mum too. Not nice.