Seeing dad who has terminal lung cancer

[Maya899]

I am going to visit my dad tomorrow who has terminal lung cancer. He is still at home at the moment.

Sadly, I haven't seen him a few years because he wasn't the best as I was growing up and was very in and out, although the last 2 weeks we have very quickly built a good relationship through phone calls. We've never spoken so honestly or lovingly before, I am so happy about it. But then I remember he is dying and he isn't even 60 yet.
I keep crying and he is the first thought on my mind when I wake up. I feel utterly broken if I'm honest.

So I'm wondering if anyone has any advice or support or a hand hold? I know that sounds silly, but he has said he has lost a lot of weight and all his hair and he doesn't want me to be shocked. He says he can't walk very far at all. And now I am worried I'll cry in front of him. I am worried about what to say. I am worried about how long to stay, especially as he said he gets tired very easily.
This is not the father I remember. I am scared and I hate it.

Has anyone been through anything similar? No one else in my family has had cancer. I don't know how to cope with this.

Yes I have been through similar
I lost my dad last year to oesophageal cancer
My advice is just to be yourself with him. It's really hard. I didn't cry Infront of dad but I used to cry leaving him as I just hated the way the illness was taking him and that he was struggling to do things etc

I don't know what else to say but so sorry x

I lost my Mum to lung cancer. Sadly between being diagnosed and passing was only 4 weeks, she deteriorated very quickly. Say everything that you want to when you visit.

This is so hard as you are having to come to terms not only with his terminal illness at a young age (50's is young) but also that you are only just getting to be with him again. Get some support from friends, family, therapist to support you so that you can be with your dad. So hard, but I think it sounds like he will appreciate it and it will mean a lot to you. If you cry, you cry, I wouldn't worry too much about being 'perfect' on any visit, sounds like he's worried too so just go and be together whatever that comes out like.

If someone in twenty years'time said,
"You can go see your Dad again, it'll be at a time when he's very ill but he'll be alive and well enough to talk,"
You would seize it with both hands.
He's ill. It's a heartbreaking situation.
But he's still alive and he's still the same person.

Thank you all so much and you're very right @Paperbagsaremine

I'm really looking forward to seeing him later