My dad and Glioblastoma

[Devastateddaughter]

My dad has been diagnosed with an aggressive brain tumour, there is no treatment, so it's just palliative care.
He is old but a few weeks ago he was driving and playing golf, we are all absolutely devastated and despite his amazing ability to still make jokes, I know he's frightened. I can't stand the thought of him declining or being in pain, I can't bear the thought of him not being here anymore. He's already forgetting words and names .
He's been the most amazing dad .

@mintbiscuit I'm so sorry to hear about your mum xx

I'm so sorry you are going through this OP.

Please think about getting your Dad to make a Living Will, also known as an Advance Decision. You can do it very easily online.

It will help the clinicians and nurses treating him to understand his wishes around treatment, nutrition, resuscitation, etc, particularly if he loses capacity and cannot advocate for himself.

Thank you @PinotPony ,really good point. We all have LPA's and living wills , sadly brought about by another family member suddenly losing capacity. I would urge everyone to get them in place , it's not something people like to think about but they save so much aggravation, especially when going through such an emotional time xx

@Devastateddaughter it sounds like a reprive of sorts, but it is hard knowing it won't last, but if you can enjoy being with him right now, it will be valuable to him and to you. Sounds like you have thought of hospice and hopefully there will be a place if you want one a bit later on, such a hard hard time, hugs to you.

I'm so sorry you're going through this. This was particularly hard for me to read but I couldn't just scroll by. I've been thinking bawling my eyes out today about my own dad who passed just 2 years ago in the very same way. I fucking hate cancer, particularly glioblastomas cos they took my dad.
My stepmother couldn't handle it and dad's care fell only to carers until social service stepped in and took him to a hospice.
There's no way to prepare yourself. My only advice is to spend whatever time you can with your dad and if as you say, he has a good sense of humour, get cracking those silly jokes.
My dad and I mocked death at every chance because our sense of humour is very dark. We made jokes about him having a code word to weed out charlatan psychics when he's gone. We even joked that dad was going to beat covid by going before it could get him. Really morbid, stupid stuff but you know what? He laughed. It's one good memory I have from that time. Dad and I causing looks of horror by making jokes and not being all sad. I know he felt scared but I couldn't add to his stress by letting him see mine.

I'm really, really sorry for what you are going through. It's not fair. It's not fucking fair at all.

Very good point @Devastateddaughter - we are talking living wills now with my brother. But we should all have one shouldn’t we?

Just to say, thank you for talking about living wills and POA, I keep putting it off for DH but I know we need it in place, just wish we didn't.