Struggling with my dads diagnosis of cancer

[whattodo2019]

My dad has just been diagnosed with cancer of the oesophagus. He is waiting for an MRI and for the treatment plan. i'm an only child who lives 3.5hrs away.
I'm feeling really guilty i can't be there to support my parents, we have decided not to tell my kids (yet) as they are about to start GCSE and A Levels. My parents want to talk about it all the time, my mums is a wreck....
Not meaning to sound selfish, I don't want to know everything, it's making me incredibly anxious, I need to work full time, look after and keep the kids focussed and my DH is away abroad a lot with work.....
My parents have family around, and friends so they are certainly not alone.
Is it wrong to just want to be the upbeat jolly person. around them.

My Dad was diagnosed with liver cancer last September and dead by January. The honest reality is that cancer is an absolute bastard, unpredictable and your parents must be out of their minds with worry. If they're talking about it, that's brilliant and you may need to absorb some of this from them. My Dad was completely head in the sand about the whole thing and boy that was tough. We desperately needed to have honest talks about the future with him but he wouldn't engage at all. I was glued to his side throughout as well as having to work full time and I still haven't physically recovered from it all. Can you point them towards McMillan/Marie Curie so that they can find some local support for them?

I'm sorry you're all going through this, it's a really really hard path to tread. For everyone

@Bluebells1970 thank you for your kind reply. I'm sorry to hear about your dad. xx Yes it's great that they want to talk and that they are really open. The problem is, they are just too open, negative and understandable absorbed by it all. My anxiety levels are through the roof. I wish they were able to also be positive and talk about other things. I know we are all different. But the experience with my father in laws cancer journey was so different and felt so much easier to deal with.

Honestly op. I think you need to step up for your parents here and be led by them. It's understandable that they wish to talk about this huge deal with their own daughter. You seem to want them to be supportive of you as opposed to the other way round.

I promise I am very much there for them. I guess we all deal with things differently and my parents simply want to talk non stop about it, compared with my in laws who dealt with cancer in a very different and much more upbeat and positive manner (my FIL passed away)

It's tough in the early stages as well as you're not sure what exactly is going to happen in terms of tests/treatment, so little wonder they're so negative about it. Being the upbeat person on the phone isn't a bad thing, neither is trying to distract them a little. We all cope in our own ways.

I just popped in from the Cancer thread. From experience I can say that the stage your DF is at now is the most frightening and difficult of the entire process of diagnosis and treatment. Once he has the results of the initial scans and biopsies and has a robust treatment plan he will feel much better and the anxiety will lessen. The level of support your DPs need will change. While at the moment they need to talk later they may need more practical help. Try to give them some time to let off steam, and point them at the Macmillan Cancer support service. You could use it yourself if you feel it would help. Best wishes to all your family x