DH & DM cancer diagnosis pretty much on the same day

[Bloomingcancer]

DH already had it but moved from stage 1 to stage 2 this week. DM diagnosed today with another cancer (after getting over a different major cancer in 2019).

When she rang to tell me I just knew, I felt I knew for weeks, odds thing happening which she just threw away as the NHS being under so much pressure which just didn’t ring true for me.

just wondering if I’m getting immune to cancer diagnosis. Had it myself in 2010 and have had DH with it since 2013. I feel as if I should be sitting here in bits sobbing my heart out but instead I just feel, OK, another load of shit to deal with, a few weeks ago I was beside myself over DH having more tests.

I seem to have just moved into practical mode. Been out and bought everything I can think of for DH and what we may need, Imodium, constipation medicines, yummy foods and snacks to encourage eating as he’s not interested in food and must not lose any more weight.

when DH starts treatment next week we are going to be shielding for three months minimum. How on earth can I support my mum (and Dad, both in their eighties, although fortunately very sprite and able).

Can only assume my brain is in self preservation mode. Lots of friends asking about DH today but I can’t bring myself to tell them about DM.

I'm so sorry for all that is happening to your family. I hope they all get through this and in the madness of it all, I hope you get sometime to yourself. Someone to talk to, something to do to help you relax. Big hugs

Your numb and just go into survival mode

the danger is something minor will happen and then it hits you like an avalanche

can’t stress enough make time and look after yourself

I know exactly how you feel, DH had stage 4 cancer, then DD rang to say she had endometrial cancer. The following day DS rang to say he had oral cancer. Sadly DH died in July but offsprings not doing too badly following chemotherapy, radiotherapy and now having immunotherapy. Keep your chin up and as previous posters say talk to people xx

I have no advice but just wanted to give you some support - I think numbness sounds like an understandable response when your body cannot take anymore (survival)

sending you so much strength - you don’t deserve this

This sounds so tough!!
no advice, just thinking of you and sending you strength.

Really sorry to hear this, sending you condolences for your DH. I am very pleased to hear your children are doing well. 💐💐💐

I had times with my DM's cancer that I didn't react in the way I'd imagined would be 'normal'. I came to the conclusion that sometimes your brain works to protect you, so you only deal with what you can deal with at that time and emotional responses come along later. It's weird, I get it.

Thank you for all your kind messages. DH ended up being in admitted to hospital this week but I got him home last night and he will be having some other treatment soon. Still no news for my mum.

I’m having a fill the freezer day as I always cook from scratch and was left tired and hungry this week with everything that happened I didn’t feel like cooking. The plus side was I lost 5lbs, I’ve been trying to do that for months but it seems a bit of an extreme way to lose weight.

I'm so sorry.

My mum had a massive disabling stroke (she lived six hours away) the day after my DH was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer.
Your head goes into self preservation and coping mode, to be honest.

Have you been told that you have to shield? Maybe check that, as that's not been recommended to anyone I know on chemo at the moment (sadly I have two cancer patients in my group).

All the best to you all.