Help during chemotherapy

[whiteroseredrose]

Hi. My lovely friend has breast cancer and will be starting chemotherapy next week.

She has said no casseroles please but I really want to help.

For those who have been through this can you advise? What welcome help did you receive or what else would have been appreciated?

People were super kind to me, but my most helpful items were :-

Microwaveable heat bags (I had lots of joint pain which is common)

Nice soft warm socks

Painkillers (this sounds stupid but for a good few days I would take the max daily amount of paracetamol but as you can only buy 2 packs at a time I constantly felt I was worrying abut running out!)

Practicality wise, I ate a big like a pregnant person. Chemo changes your taste plus maybe you are nauseous. I snacked constantly, eating was the only thing that stopped the sickness but I had specific cravings. I also only ate little and often. Very often. A basket with various fruits, nuts, crisps, biscuits etc maybe? I craved fresh fruit and veg and carbs mostly. Never ate so many cheese toasties! A nice sports top drinking bottle or 2 to always have one in the fridge was great too. If she’s likely to lose her hair maybe offer to come to a wig appointment if she’d like etc?

@AGreatUsername Thank you for the suggestions. I may start with cashmere socks then see what she actually fancies eating and take it from there.

I hope that you are well now xxx

One side effect I had was very sensitive skin. I couldn't use shampoo, shower gel, antiperspirant etc without coming up in sore weals. The only thing that worked for me was organic soap. I settled on unscented goats milk soap by someone called Cyril's.

I also craved vegetable soup. I think my body was trying to flush out the chemo and take on vitamins as fast as possible. I got through a lot of it in the four or five days after each treatment. And lots of fruit. Fresh pineapple, satsumas, juicy things.

I hope she's ok. Wish her luck xx

@MintJulia thank you. I will look up the soap. I thought of fruit but I was worried that it might be too acidic.

Help with the school run was very much appreciated here and honestly a kind ear to talk about anything but cancer and chemo.

Help with the school run was very much appreciated here and honestly a kind ear to talk about anything but cancer and chemo.

Help with the school run - rather than having a set day that friends pick up my kids I know which days they can help so if I'm feeling rubbish I know which friend can help.
Driving to chemo - mine is a 45-60 min drive away and I'm incapable of driving back afterwards. So a friend offering to take me is wonderful - particularly as it means I have company and our car is in the right place for my husband to come and get me, plus it takes the pressure off him.
A chat and a cup of tea - gradually as your illness drags on you get invited to less and less. Mostly I think as people know you'll not be well enough to attend. So my really good friends turn up for a dog walk, or cake and tea or we do a short trip out on the days I'm well.
Food - mixed bag - it's nice if wanted but can end up being logistically difficult. Actually nicer if friends club together and get you a voucher for somewhere like Cook and you can order what you know you can tolerate to have in the freezer for those days you just can't cope.
No more candles etc etc - or colouring books for adults. It's well meant but I got given so much.
Warm socks etc are great IF your treatment is going to give you neuropathy. If so gloves are also helpful.
To be honest the thing I've appreciated most is just the presence of my friends over a cup of tea, a shoulder to cry on, support for my kids and messages making me laugh and making me feel normal.

Dh loved the silk pillowcase he was gifted, it was cool on his head when he felt like crap.

Never in a million years would have thought it made a difference.

'To be honest the thing I've appreciated most is just the presence of my friends over a cup of tea, a shoulder to cry on, support for my kids and messages making me laugh and making me feel normal.'

Yes this ^^ - cancer can feel very lonely and a lot of people pull away or don't know what to say. Or find it hard to stay connected as treatment goes on. Recovering from cancer/treatment can take a long while, so understanding that she may not feel 'normal' for a very long time or indeed ever again.

If you can be one of the people who ask 'how are you doing at the moment?' and then can actually listen to the hard stuff, and not make her feel like she has to pretend to be more chipper than she feels, you'll be an amazing friend.

A small thing - find out her chemo schedule, put a reminder in your calendar and text her each time to say you are thinking of her/ask how it went.

Eating with metal knives and forks was awful due to the metallic taste I got from them, a friend gave me a lovely sturdy plastic set which was brilliant.

Don't send flowers. My friend said the smell of flowers used to make her feel sick when she was having chemo.

Snuggly things - warm fluffy socks, a snuggly throw

Lavender or other pillow spray

Gift basket of snacks (depending on taste)

Puzzle books if she likes them

Audiobook subscription

Help with housework when the tiredness is overwhelming