I’ve been ill since I had my DD five years ago, but I’ve been housebound and partially bedbound for around two years. It’s quite similar to MS.
I was in a really bad relationship with DD’s Dad, who isn’t an awful person but I’m convinced that he has an undiagnosed mood disorder like Bipolar or something because his whole personality completely changes every few weeks. It’s a bad, toxic situation to be absolutely fine one week and then treading on eggshells and having my mood constantly dragged down by his sulking the next. We separated and now live in different houses, but I rely on him for so much that I end up seeing him nearly every day, messaging him most days, having to plan and discuss things all the time, he often comes into my house to help with more physical jobs.
He’s also become my entire social network since I became ill too, so if I try to cut him out I go weeks without any adult conversation. I have no idea what to do or how to remove myself from this mess, because my DD is 5 and I can’t cope on my own with her for long at all. After a few hours I’m in so much pain and so exhausted that lights and sound become really painful for me and all my muscles seize up and stop working properly, so I only have her on my own every other weekend and school nights and it takes me days just to recover from the flare up that spending time with her causes.
I don’t have any family or friends and social workers have told me that there’s nothing they can do to help me. I’m trying to simplify my life by being a minimalist, buying pre-chopped veg and meat even though it’s a lot more expensive and I’m on a tight budget. I even caved in a few weeks ago and started giving DD freezer food most evenings, but there’s still no way that I’d cope on my own. I have DD 60% of the time BUT her Dad does all the school runs on my days as I can’t get there. She hates being away from me as it is, and her Dad just sits her in front of a screen all day and gives her chocolate and McDonald’s to eat so him having her more often would be an issue in itself.
Not sure what I’m looking for here, I just feel so trapped and don’t see any way out of this, but maybe an outsiders perspective would help?